Ami, Yes, check it out, or think on it really hard. What feels right? Recalling similar incidents helps me. but I try to remember if it was a family member who told me 2+2=5.
Forgive me, everyone. I think I am on a roll, then will try bed again.
When I was doing leg exercises in Rehab in’69, I went down to the gym one morning, got out of my chair to the floor mat, but my 2 physios ignored me. I bummed my way over to the corner and got my own sawhorse, metal boot and weights and dragged them all back to my mat and set up for exercising, with the pillows and all. As I lay there trying to move paralyzed muscles, a few tears tricked down into my hair and I became very determined to never need anybody again. *Well that didn’t happen* but I felt so ignored, then I realized they probably did it for my own good and realized I never complained about it , put things away, but I still needed their help to get back into the chair. I was wearing stretch pants and they stretched away up but looked like a 100# bag of potatoes with all the potatoes staying at the bottom. That was me until I found my own way of turning my back to the chair and pushing myself up and in with my arms. Nothing was ever said about the other, and they helped every day. After all, they have records, progress reports to keep.
Physios don’t pamper you. You work! and that is why I surmised that this one now was not pushing me to the library, that I was to do it. Well there’s too much pain, at this point, so I cancelled. I desperately need some good books (am on Catcher In The Rye for the 20th time. I have my original from 1956) and the compromise after her next visit is that we go tomorrow and she will assist in rough spots when required.
To check it out, I also wrote to my lawyer about this and asked if he thought anyone might be watching me--well watch on! ICBC tries to get a person off this paid help as soon as possible and I don’t want any flukes. No way would I attempt to go out on my own with this pain. Lawyer’s father is here all week, so he’ll reply soon. My emails help me keep records of what I have told him and my journaling has the rest. Lawyer is coming for a full disclosure on 26th.
I cannot believe, yes I can, it’s happened before, that it is 5:09 in the a.m. here (Pacific Time) and I am still awake. If my leg is paining I get up, then when my bum is sore from sitting I go back and arrange my leg differently…if it would stay the same I would draw a chalk outline of my leg and get it right the first time. Sometimes it takes 10 tries. In the hospital a nurse would set me up then leave but I’d need an adjustment--the awful pain then I couldn’t manage alone at all… and have to call her back for ¼ inch, ½ inch adj…. so I let my positions here settle in before I do, just in case.
Holden Caufield is a-callin’
xx
Izzy
