Author Topic: Life takes a turn.......................  (Read 19037 times)

Overcomer

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Re: Life takes a turn.......................
« Reply #75 on: August 03, 2009, 05:37:38 PM »
Well, I have gotten far.  I remember Lupita telling me I was a whiner......I guess I whined a lot and for a long time.  Now I am past all the whining and on to the living!
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"

Ami

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Re: Life takes a turn.......................
« Reply #76 on: August 03, 2009, 06:45:24 PM »
Well, I think there is a time and place for everything, Kelly. We had a LOT to whine about . We were trying to heal, not be obnoxious. You have so much to share as you go through this. I would like to hear.
It inspires me.     XXOOO   Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Overcomer

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Re: Life takes a turn.......................
« Reply #77 on: August 04, 2009, 10:44:13 AM »
I am realizing that when I read you (Ami) or others talk about you Nmom and all the stuff we have had to bear it is easy looking from the outside in to say, "GET OVER IT ALREADY!!"  And I do believe we have to make baby steps from one thing to the next.....with occasional leaps!!!

Sometimes there are things that just catapult you out of where you were and put you into another realm.  I quit my job and went to work for the furniture store.  I didn't come crawling back (like the last time.....)  After three months my nmom knew she held no power over me.  That was the last nail on the coffin!!  I was free. 

It is wonderful to be there, but gosh darn it, why do I have to have cancer now?  No FAIR!!
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"

Ami

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Re: Life takes a turn.......................
« Reply #78 on: August 04, 2009, 10:49:42 AM »
It is NOT fair at all, Kelly.I do think that the cancer will just be a chapter not an ongoing struggle. I felt that right from the beginning.As far as our  life with the NM's. I have come to the conclusion that I have to RESPECT my life experience in that I have to reject people who want to push me down about it.
 Let them live it and then be such a big shot!     Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Overcomer

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Re: Life takes a turn.......................
« Reply #79 on: August 04, 2009, 04:53:17 PM »
Yes.  I believe we were brainwashed.  People who come out of cults take time to be free.......it takes time for us to emerge from the tyranny we endured growing up.  But the bad news is we didn't even know we were living it.  To us, that was our life.  Our parents were our parents.  No one thought my family was dysfunctional......my brother and I were very instrumental in exposing the dysfunction......not comfortable but necessary...

Well, I tried my wig on today.......I will get my head shaved a week from tomorrow!!!!  Love one of them......it looks better than my own hair!
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"

Gaining Strength

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Re: Life takes a turn.......................
« Reply #80 on: August 04, 2009, 05:49:59 PM »
I'm betting you look fabulous in your wig.  Sending lots and lots of love to you Kelly - lots of love and physical healing.  I know you can do it - you got over such a larger healing earlier this year.  Love to you.

Overcomer

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Re: Life takes a turn.......................
« Reply #81 on: August 07, 2009, 10:36:45 AM »
Thanks GS.

Today I go in for my second round of chemo.  It is the double whammy.  I took some steroids yesterday, today and tomorrow.  Plus I get a shot to up my white blood counts.  I could not sleep at all last night due to the steroids.  I am afraid of gaining weight with them.  I already have gained back ten pounds just from laying around for six weeks..

I am afraid next week I will feel pretty tired. 

My daughter got a job and is going to training out of town on Thursday and Friday.  I will go with her and watch the babe while she is training.  Hope that works out.....

I suppose she is going to want me to watch the babe while she works.  I can't tell yet if I will be up to it.

Wednesday I get my head shaved and my wig.....I guess I should go get some kind of a scarf in case I don't want to throw on a wig all the time.......

Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"

sKePTiKal

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Re: Life takes a turn.......................
« Reply #82 on: August 07, 2009, 10:51:01 AM »
something jaunty.... like a pirate scarf???
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

JustKathy

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Re: Life takes a turn.......................
« Reply #83 on: August 07, 2009, 06:21:47 PM »
Good luck Kelly. I hope the second round goes well for you.

As for your head, I really admire you for making the decision to shave it, rather than watching the hair slowly fall out. You are in CONTROL. I think that's awesome.

Once you see your new look, you may feel comfortable without covering up. Sometimes I see women in the store who have little or no hair due to chemo, and they're totally fine with it. I think it sends a message of strength - power over your own body. Look at Melissa Etheridge showing up to accept her Grammy with a shaved head. She was shouting to the world, "I'm strong, I'm fighting, I'm a survivor."

Of course, that's easy for me to say, sitting here with a full head of hair. I'm the type of insecure person who has always hid behind my hair, so I don't know how I would handle it myself. But I do think your perspective might change, and that your focus will become more about wellness than about hair. Did you see the Farrah Fawcett documentary? She felt almost victorious when she shaved her head, because it was HER decision, and she was in control.

I'm looking forward to reading your feelings on Wednesday after you've had your head shaved. It will be a huge moment for you, no doubt. You may go into it thinking that you'll feel a certain way, and come out of feeling completely different. Please come post and tell us how it goes. I will be here cheering for you, as I'm sure we all will be.

You're in my thoughts.

Kathy

JustKathy

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Re: Life takes a turn.......................
« Reply #84 on: August 07, 2009, 06:23:09 PM »
You know, a pirate scarf sounds pretty cool . . .  8)

Ami

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Re: Life takes a turn.......................
« Reply #85 on: August 07, 2009, 08:16:58 PM »
You have always been one of my favorite people,Kelly! I wish I could know you in real life. I think we would be good friends. I know you will be OK.
 You have so much chuzpa---guts, spirit,strength and will!      XXXOO Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

farfaraway

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Re: Life takes a turn.......................
« Reply #86 on: August 07, 2009, 08:43:20 PM »
Hey,

I know you haven't heard from me before.  I just want to say, I admire your strength.

Hopalong

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Re: Life takes a turn.......................
« Reply #87 on: August 07, 2009, 10:26:47 PM »
Bald is beautiful.

I have fantasized that if I were temporarily bald due to chemo, I would carry stick fingerpaints and let little kids draw on my head.

(Then again, it's easy to have silly daydreams when you're not actually facing the hair fallout.)

Good on you, Kell.

You are being matter of fact about it and that's wonderful. Very sane.

xo
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

teartracks

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Re: Life takes a turn.......................
« Reply #88 on: August 08, 2009, 01:36:07 AM »



Hi Kelly,

Purposefulness!  That's you!

Love,

tt 


Overcomer

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Re: Life takes a turn.......................
« Reply #89 on: August 08, 2009, 02:30:39 AM »
Well, today was a long day.  We went in for some blood work and a doc talk....
 
Then went downtown to the hospital........90 minutes of the Gemtar I took last week and then an hour of Taxotere............

Well that didn't go so well.....they told me there might be some side effects.  So about ten minutes in I had this really uncomfortable feeling in my body and suddenly my lower back started having these very sharp pains in it.....my h went to the nurses station and told them I needed them.

Four of them came running.  Two nurses pulled the drug out of my IV and immediately flushed me with benydryl and Zantac.  Another nurse gave me oxygen and took my temp.  Another one did my blood pressure.  They checked my heartrate.  The tears came flowing.  There was this lady right across the way who was just about to start her chemo.  I apologized after it was all over for causing a scene...!!

They got me stablized and then called the doc.  He wanted them to try it again.  I was a little worried but they tried it again and there was no reaction this time!!

So we got it all taken care of.  We got home at 5:45 pm.....it was a long day. 

Now I guess I will have another night of no sleep with the steroids.  At least it is just a three day dose of it.  Today was the second day and I didn't sleep at all last night!!

So I have two weeks until the next dose and three weeks until this double whammy dose!!!!

We will see what the next few days bring....
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"