On another thread, Bones & Izzy discussed what Bones called "peeling back layers of the onion".
Ah, yes, the "Onion". The Onion is the pearl (pearl onion?) which is the legacy left to us by our NFOOs. I deal with my onion everyday. To peel it or pickle it: that is the question, the issue. But, I don't think it's an 'either/or'. Yesterday, like many days, I both peeled & pickled. Some days, I only peel & some days I only pickle & some days, I do both.
I think the peel/pickle is yin/yang. I cannot pickle the onion & "move on" until I've peeled it. I ruminate & keep peeling, but, eventually, the peeling leads to new truths, like I was raised in a f*ck'd up FOO, but, no one told me that, no one knew it was f*ck'd up, but, due to the peeling, I finally got to see that.
For me, I think the pickling is when I can accept a particular "truth", a particular 'skin of the onion', like, my NM was so controlling because she was ruled by fear & it's taken me a long time to see that. And, I wouldn't have seen that had I not peeled the onion. Now, I'm accepting this truth & as I absorb that acceptance, I can 'pickle' that layer of the onion.
IMO, I can't pickle w/o peeling, nor peel w/o pickling. Peeling is my search for the truth & once I feel the truth & accept it, I try to pickle it & move on to the next layer.
Pickling & peeling is the 'road less traveled'. It's a lonely road, but a very honorable & difficult road. It's the only road I know to lead me out & into the place I want to be.
