I can't believe she did this

[Twoapenny]

Bones, I'm so sorry, I was just reading through the thread and I'd missed your post about your mum getting the case against her boyfriend dropped.  I don't blame you for refusing to pay for the grave marker, I think you were very charitable to be involved in her funeral at all.  I cannot, cannot, cannot get my head around someone protecting a man like that when their own children are at risk.

Hugs to you (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[Ami]

Did not see your post  (((Bonesie)))). My Goodness ,you are a winner for all you went through and are a decent and big hearted  person !
                                                                              xxxooo   Ami

[BonesMS]

Bones, I'm so sorry, I was just reading through the thread and I'd missed your post about your mum getting the case against her boyfriend dropped.  I don't blame you for refusing to pay for the grave marker, I think you were very charitable to be involved in her funeral at all.  I cannot, cannot, cannot get my head around someone protecting a man like that when their own children are at risk.

Hugs to you (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((TwoAPenny))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Yes, it's hard to wrap one's head around the concept that someone, who was supposed to be a MOTHER, was so self-centered and self-absorbed that she simply didn't give a damn about putting her own flesh and blood in harm's way! 

Bones

[BonesMS]

Did not see your post  (((Bonesie)))). My Goodness ,you are a winner for all you went through and are a decent and big hearted  person !
                                                                              xxxooo   Ami

Thanks, (((((((((((((((Ami)))))))))))))))))

Bones

[Twoapenny]

Dear Everybody,

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while, I've been trying to get my head straight about a few things and I needed to keep away from the situation while I did that, and give myself some space and perspective on it all.

I have spent the last few days gathering up paperwork to give to a solicitor I have found in order to see how I can proceed with civil cases against several people involved in this whole sorry mess over time - some personally, some professionally.  As part of that, I printed off this thread as it contained a mass of information and gives some clear examples of, not only my thoughts and feelings as certain things were happening, but also validation from so many of you that I was not being hysterical, unreasonable or any of the other things I have been accused of over time.

What hit me like a wall as I was reading through the entire thing again (44 pages in total!) was how amazing supportive you have all been to me.  Reading through it, I can see how it was your strength and support, and your willingness to share your own very difficult experiences, that got me through what has been a horrible time in my life and pushed me through to the other side.

I feel tired - but quietly strong, determined and optimistic that I can get some sort of satisfaction via civil cases.  The more I am gathering together evidence and putting things down on paper, the more I can see how brilliantly my mum brainwashed me into thinking the abnormal was usual and the destructive was either for my own good or my own fault.  Coming through the other side of this has been down to all of you, who have been so kind, loving and charitable despite the fact you each have your own problems to deal with and your own issues to work through.

So I want to say a huge thank you to each and every one of you for the help and support you have given me over the last few months.  I truly could not have got through this without you and feel very humble to have been guided through a life changing experience by people that I've never met, but who have given me their time and their kind words without placing any kind of demand on me or giving any kind of remonstration or guilt trip (as most of my family would!).  I have only rarely experienced kindness like this and I cannot tell you how big a difference it has made to me.

So thank you, thank you, thank you.  I hope I will be able to post fairly soon with some positive news about legal action, and also that there might be something I learn from this that will help someone else in the future.  Hopefully 2010 will be a healthier, happier year for all of us, and I hope everyone receives back some of the kindness they have shown to me.

Sending love, hugs and magical weight loss thoughts to get rid of all the Christmas excess

Thinking of everybody,

Twoapenny xxxxxxxxx ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))00

[BonesMS]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((TwoAPenny))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Bones

[lighter]

twopenny:

I hope the civil action will bring you some measure of peace, no matter the outcome.

Gathering all evidence should prove very empowering for you, IMO.

As for your mother defending that kind of suit, at best she'll have face her actions and be held accountable. 

At worst, she'll likely think twice before filing future false complaints against you.

Regarding your son.......

It warmed my heart to read he's blissfully unaware of this struggle.

You're a good mama, ((twopenny))

God bless and God speed.

[Twoapenny]

Hi Bones and Mo2,

Thanks to both of you.  I have started writing it all up and cross referencing paperword as well as asking other people to provide their own accounts and information where appropriate.  Seeing it all go down in black and white is like being hit with a sledgehammer.  Suddenly I'm not questioning myself or doubting my memory or wondering whether I'm being over the top or over sensitive.  I'm seeing it for the deceitful, incidious abuse that it is and it really is terrifying.  Getting it down on paper is helping, though, and I'm hoping this is the start of better things.

Love to you both xx

[BonesMS]

Hi Bones and Mo2,

Thanks to both of you.  I have started writing it all up and cross referencing paperword as well as asking other people to provide their own accounts and information where appropriate.  Seeing it all go down in black and white is like being hit with a sledgehammer.  Suddenly I'm not questioning myself or doubting my memory or wondering whether I'm being over the top or over sensitive.  I'm seeing it for the deceitful, incidious abuse that it is and it really is terrifying.  Getting it down on paper is helping, though, and I'm hoping this is the start of better things.

Love to you both xx

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((TwoAPenny)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Bones

[Twoapenny]

Hi Everybody,

Just a quick update - I am plugging my way through old medical records and not only is there quite a bit of proof that the things my mum has accused me of aren't true, some of the doctor's/psychs I have seen over the years have written some really nice things about me and commented on my being a good mum and working hard to overcome my problems.  I think there is a light at the end of the tunnel

Twoapenny xx

[Ami]

((((((Twoapenny)))))   x o x o Ami

[BonesMS]

Hi Everybody,

Just a quick update - I am plugging my way through old medical records and not only is there quite a bit of proof that the things my mum has accused me of aren't true, some of the doctor's/psychs I have seen over the years have written some really nice things about me and commented on my being a good mum and working hard to overcome my problems.  I think there is a light at the end of the tunnel

Twoapenny xx

((((((((((((((((((((((((TwoAPenny)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Bones

[Twoapenny]

Thanks Ami, thanks Bonesie!  Hugs to both of you ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((xxxxx))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[Twoapenny]

Hi all,

Just another update - got the police records through and they have stated, in writing, that they felt my allegations were malicious and that's why they haven't investigated them.  They've also recorded that they want social services doing unnanounced spot checks and are not happy that social services have refused (ss sent the paperwork back stating that the police officer's concerns are not concerns and that they won't open a file on it).  How they are claiming that the assaults I was talking about in therapy nine years ago (backed up by therapist's notes on that one) and a photograph are malicious has not been explained in the file.  Corrupt, corrupt, corrupt!

[bearwithme]

Twoapen:    You have also helped me on this board countless times and I'm so glad you are here for me.  You definitely have your hands full with this and I wish you the utmost steadfastness in resolving this horrific situation. You are hardworking and as they say, "cream rises to the top."

Remember this:

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win."
                                                           
                                                                                                                         Gandhi