Dear Everybody,
I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while, I've been trying to get my head straight about a few things and I needed to keep away from the situation while I did that, and give myself some space and perspective on it all.
I have spent the last few days gathering up paperwork to give to a solicitor I have found in order to see how I can proceed with civil cases against several people involved in this whole sorry mess over time - some personally, some professionally. As part of that, I printed off this thread as it contained a mass of information and gives some clear examples of, not only my thoughts and feelings as certain things were happening, but also validation from so many of you that I was not being hysterical, unreasonable or any of the other things I have been accused of over time.
What hit me like a wall as I was reading through the entire thing again (44 pages in total!) was how amazing supportive you have all been to me. Reading through it, I can see how it was your strength and support, and your willingness to share your own very difficult experiences, that got me through what has been a horrible time in my life and pushed me through to the other side.
I feel tired - but quietly strong, determined and optimistic that I can get some sort of satisfaction via civil cases. The more I am gathering together evidence and putting things down on paper, the more I can see how brilliantly my mum brainwashed me into thinking the abnormal was usual and the destructive was either for my own good or my own fault. Coming through the other side of this has been down to all of you, who have been so kind, loving and charitable despite the fact you each have your own problems to deal with and your own issues to work through.
So I want to say a huge thank you to each and every one of you for the help and support you have given me over the last few months. I truly could not have got through this without you and feel very humble to have been guided through a life changing experience by people that I've never met, but who have given me their time and their kind words without placing any kind of demand on me or giving any kind of remonstration or guilt trip (as most of my family would!). I have only rarely experienced kindness like this and I cannot tell you how big a difference it has made to me.
So thank you, thank you, thank you. I hope I will be able to post fairly soon with some positive news about legal action, and also that there might be something I learn from this that will help someone else in the future. Hopefully 2010 will be a healthier, happier year for all of us, and I hope everyone receives back some of the kindness they have shown to me.
Sending love, hugs and magical weight loss thoughts to get rid of all the Christmas excess

Thinking of everybody,
Twoapenny xxxxxxxxx ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))00