Expert

[teartracks]

I am not an expert in anything.  Being on the backside of life, it disturbs me that I'm not.  I love ancient history, but here I am and I know so little about it.  My love for it started at least 15 years ago.  Plenty of time to have at least picked a small portion of it to know expertly.  I guess I'm just lazy or something...

tt

[Sealynx]

Are you more into military or cultural history? You might like this  books on Ancient social and cultural history.

http://www.amazon.com/Ancient-World-Social-Cultural-History/dp/0205637442/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1257467871&sr=1-9

[teartracks]

Hey thanks Sealynx and CB,

Thanks for the encouragement.  I'll look at the link you gave S.  And CB, I remember some of your posts back when you were working on your degree.   I would enjoy the sense of accomplishment were I to forge ahead with a history project.  If I were able to memorize the timelilne of history to the point where I could think of it in a detailed linear way, I'd be pleased. 

tt

[Sealynx]

Don't feel left behind TT. According to the History Channel they now know aliens were responsible for everything anyway!! History is probably being rewritten as we speak!!

[teartracks]

Uhmmm - problem solved, I can just draw a long horizontal line on a blank wall and write alien all the way across, and forget about the great empires and dynasties!

[Ami]

Dear TT
 I think your desire to be an expert is more a sense of feeling lacking in your personal self rather than information. I know many experts in fields who still fell insecure about their emotional and personal  self.
 That was my take when I read it.
 If we do not feel at peace inside, no outside  knowledge  will fill the void.                              Ami

[sKePTiKal]

Hey tt...

there's no reason you can't educate yourself. Library has LOTS of books and they're free and you never have to move them! (I expect I'll have 30 boxes of books when I'm done packing - that's TOO MANY!) Then, there are all the online resources too. What did we ever do before Google? (oh yeah... remember AltaVista??)

Never any reason to stop learning.... something!

[binks]

Teartracks - A friend of mine did evening classes in archeology at the Museum of London. They actually counted towards a degree if that's what you want to do with them, or they can just be for your own pleasure. Perhaps there is something similar where you live. My friend was in her early forties when she did this and it really gave her a whole new interest and lots of like-minded friends.

[teartracks]

Hi binks,

Not looking for a degree.  It would be for my pleasure.

tt

[teartracks]

Ami,

Dear TT
 I think your desire to be an expert is more a sense of feeling lacking in your personal self rather than information. I know many experts in fields who still fell insecure about their emotional and personal  self.
 That was my take when I read it.
 If we do not feel at peace inside, no outside  knowledge  will fill the void.                              Ami

Ami,

I think I regret not having used my natural curiosity and love of learning to hone in on at least one thing, be it ever so small, and learn all there is to learn about it. 

tt

[Ami]

Dear TT
  I am so happy to start new things even though I know I will never be  as good as someone who has been doing it for years.
 I get excited  to do new things I have always wanted to do like yoga. I feel  happy for my progress. My biggest regrets are in squelching my self esteem .
 I feel regrets over not seeing life as it was so I could protect myself.
 I feel dumb about  how many holes I stepped in b/c of pure emotional retardation  
     Ami

[Sealynx]

TT
This reminds me of a man I once worked with. Joe Lee was a painter who did high end work in painting and wall covering. The first job I did with him was upholstering a wall in velvet. He was one of the most brilliant men I've ever met and yet he only had a 5th grade formal education. He had created a detailed map of the ancient world in an attic room where he liked to hang out and encouraged me to read philosophers like Ouspensky and Gurdjeiff. I also gave him all of my college books on Latin because he was determined to learn the language. In his case he couldn't have gone to college because he never finished high school, but that didn't stop Joe from pursuing what he loved.

There are many fascinating corridors to pursue. One of my favorite early introductions to history was through the mythological work of Joseph Campbell (Masks of God, creative, occidental, oriental and primitive). These works covered the myths that people believed in, some later became associated with religions. I liked this series because it showed me who ancient people were.

There are some very interesting side trips to take historically. Try looking up "Tomb at Ur" or "Suttee" for some thought provoking history.

[teartracks]

TT
This reminds me of a man I once worked with. Joe Lee was a painter who did high end work in painting and wall covering. The first job I did with him was upholstering a wall in velvet. He was one of the most brilliant men I've ever met and yet he only had a 5th grade formal education. He had created a detailed map of the ancient world in an attic room where he liked to hang out and encouraged me to read philosophers like Ouspensky and Gurdjeiff. I also gave him all of my college books on Latin because he was determined to learn the language. In his case he couldn't have gone to college because he never finished high school, but that didn't stop Joe from pursuing what he loved.

There are many fascinating corridors to pursue. One of my favorite early introductions to history was through the mythological work of Joseph Campbell (Masks of God, creative, occidental, oriental and primitive). These works covered the myths that people believed in, some later became associated with religions. I liked this series because it showed me who ancient people were.

There are some very interesting side trips to take historically. Try looking up "Tomb at Ur" or "Suttee" for some thought provoking history.

Joe Lee sounds like a jewel.  Do you still get to talk or work with him?  Just last night I caught myself wondering who were Abram's (of the Bible) ancestors.  As you know, he came our of Ur.  I've done a little study sitting in libraries, using reference books that can't be checked out.   Having one of the titles you mention in my hands as my very own would be a thrill.

Thanks for the tips. 

tt

[Sealynx]

I knew Joe in my late 20's and even then his family didn't want him working because he had a bad heart. He would have rather died on the job than stop. I'm sure at some point after I lost track of him he did. He was a character, looked just like bald headed man on the "MR. CLEAN" commercials.

Bible history and literal history are an interesting mix and sometimes they literally do mix and biblical figures take on historical aspects and vice versa. For instance Hammurabi was the "law giver" and he wrote what is the first known code of law which was transcribed on a very tall stone 1800 years BC. Could he have been Moses? Or could Moses have taken on aspects of Hammurabi?  Another interesting story is that of having been placed in a basket and floated down a river where he was picked up by a princess and taken into the royal family. Versions of this story were actually quite common because rulers often claimed to be "Sons of a God". Placed in the context of a time period where pagan gods predominated and River Gods were supposed to be very powerful gods, the story becomes one of a ruler cementing his rulership by creating a myth where "the river" i.e. his father, delivers him into the hands of his mother. All very interesting.

[teartracks]

Hi CB,

I do know about the 'shoulds' and 'oughts'.   I was guided by them for so long.  The last batch, the 7 years with my mom and the accompanying emotional turmoil plus the last year of grief over her death just about did me in.   Strangely, because I'd lost myself in that shuffle and not made any plans for me past her lifespan, I was stopped in my tracks with no plans and no energy to make any when she died.  It was a year before I budged.    But something good came of it.  I went from 'being' with no plans to being someone who knows the value of living in the now.  That year of having no plans taught me that I could live in the now and that the world wouldn't stop.  I'd have never learned the lesson any other way, most likely.  Previously, in my active business life, I was the girl who could pretty much tell you what I'd be doing and where I'd be doing it a year down the road.  Now, I have little use for a calendar, and few deadlines.  The thing I know I must focus on is recovering my physical health.   My other priority is building healthy relationships with family and friends.  I have no troubled relationships now except with my sister.  Before my mom passed away, I promised myself that when she did,  NC would be the rule with my sister and it has been.   I'm not even sure it counts as a relationship anymore.   No doubt about it though, the 'shoulds' and 'oughts' of the past have hindered me in some of the things I'd hoped to accomplish.  That's OK though, I have NOW!

tt