Don't fall into the money trap. It has been my experience that they sometimes use it to fake love but they are just as unable to understand your need for it (over theirs) as your need for real love.
Absolutely! Ns are extremely good at using money as a weapon. I, too, spent most of my life trying to suck it up and get along with my NM, thinking that one day I would get restitution in the form of an inheritance. I was also told repeatedly that I was being willed my father's dearest possession - his Emmy award. M got to me do things I never would have considered doing based on these false promises. I even gave up an entire year's pay, and went to work for M's business, for NO pay, because I was promised a future payoff. I, too, believed that she would live a very long life - that she was so evil she couldn't be killed.
Well, last summer my mother got diagnosed with terminal cancer. The first thing she did was to go back on her word, and made sure that I inherited NOTHING. She had my father call me to inform me that I had been removed from the will because I had "been mean to her." She also had my father take his Emmy to my brother, the GC. I'm quite sure that she had it delivered to the GC while they were both living, so it couldn't be contested. It his now his possession, and no one can take it from him. My father also gave him most of their remaining savings, as he believes he will have a "sympathetic death," and pass away shortly after M does.
Well, here's the irony in THIS story. My brother was raised to take take take, but never give back. He would show up at Christmas, collect his presents, and never give a gift to anyone himself. He would never even say thank you. He took money from my parents for numerous cars, college education, and eventually, his house. BUT, now that he's received the last of it, he no longer has any use for them. My mother is starting to go downhill, and may only have a few months left. This Christmas was to be her last. And her precious baby boy, her SON, the golden child, didn't show up. There was nothing in it for him, so he blew off his mother's last Christmas. This is going to sound cruel, but I laughed out loud when I found out about it. She got EXACTLY what she deserved. She raised him to care only about himself, and that's exactly what he's doing. He threw her out with the trash, much the same way that she threw me out with the trash 48 years ago. Let that be a lesson to the Ns out there. You can manipulate your children all their lives with money, but in the end, it's going to come back to bite ya.
