Author Topic: Mispronouncing words...  (Read 3008 times)

gratitude28

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Mispronouncing words...
« on: April 08, 2010, 05:31:28 PM »
My NM mispronounces words... on purpose I am sure. She says Nighman Marcus, gladiolias, cayshe (for cache) and many others I could think of. I think she says them wrong for two reasons - so that someone can correct her and she can have that interaction (and no doubt insist she IS right). I think she also thinks it 'sets her apart.' Do yours do this???
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Logy

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Re: Mispronouncing words...
« Reply #1 on: April 08, 2010, 06:29:48 PM »
Oh that's so funny!!!  Yes, she does.  My family calls them momism's.  If we correct her she doesn't insist she is right.  However, I do agree with the "sets her apart" comment.  Everyone looks at her and she becomes the center of attention, whether anyone corrects her or not. 

In my NM's situation though, I think she is just that ignorant about pronouncing words.  After all, she is so wrapped up in her that she doesn't listen to how others pronounce words so she just lives in her little world and, since she is always right, doesn't learn from correction.  We don't even bother to correct her or react to how she pronounces it.  Also, anything that is contemporary (has happened in the last 30 years) or is global (ethnic foods) she is completely clueless about.  (Ha, although she thinks she is Thoroughly Modern Millie.)  So she understands spaghetti, but cannot properly pronounce pasta.

gratitude28

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Re: Mispronouncing words...
« Reply #2 on: April 08, 2010, 07:55:40 PM »
Mine continually says the words... as if it were a challenge to correct her. In my NM's case, she DOES know the difference. I think you are right that they don't clue in to other people, so she would never learn to correctly say the words, even if she wanted to.
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Sealynx

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Re: Mispronouncing words...
« Reply #3 on: April 08, 2010, 08:06:27 PM »
Not only will mine mispronounce a word but when confronted she not only says your way of saying it is wrong, but makes up an entire story about how her pronunciation was given to her by some important person or other. Sometimes she doesn't stop there and will take it a step further, insisting that her word and your word don't even refer to the same thing! She will then dominate the conversation while she explains her alternate meaning. Its never ending once she takes the floor!!

Lollie

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Re: Mispronouncing words...
« Reply #4 on: April 08, 2010, 11:45:28 PM »
My mother does this, too. I never thought about it in relation to narcissism. I just figured she was being an idiot.
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Nonameanymore

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Re: Mispronouncing words...
« Reply #5 on: April 09, 2010, 01:19:24 AM »
Mine does a completely different thing, she uses the wrong word for the wrong occasion, kind of like when Joey from friends didn't know what acrimonious meant and kept making phrases with it, hoping he will get it? One of the times she tried to get in touch with me all these years that I am NC, she left me a message on the mobile saying 'pick up, it's Mom, I am not panacea' (to which I wanted to say 'of course you're not the remedy for all diseases you fool!' ha!)

The stupidest thing she did for a summer was to speak like she was not Greek but foreigner. I had this friend who was half-Dutch and her mom was Dutch, and NM noticed that she was getting a lot of attention being a foreigner so she started having 'an accent' and made grammatical errors when she spoke... Go figure, it was really stupid. I was about 9 and didn't really get why she was doing it at the time... :shock:

gratitude28

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Re: Mispronouncing words...
« Reply #6 on: April 09, 2010, 05:58:21 AM »
Ha ha Seal! I can so see my NM doing this. That is why I just ignore her, no matter how many times she says it!!!
Lollie... anything to get attention... I recognize some of this stuff only after years of watching her with some understanding.
Persephone, I can soooooo see that. My NM notices what gets other people attention and then copies it too. But people know she is fake and it usually does nothing for her. I remember I teared up at a wedding we went to together. So of course she started crying. But she looked so out of place that it was ridiculous. When she realized it wasn't working, she stopped.
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable." Douglas Adams

Nonameanymore

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Re: Mispronouncing words...
« Reply #7 on: April 09, 2010, 07:14:48 AM »
 Gratitude, you know, it wasn't just the fake accent and grammar. It was that she had a series of businesses in a seaside place for5 years, with only a few habitants, like 50 or something (not counting the tourists) who all knew her. You can imagine how stupid it may have seemed to them that during year 5 she suddenly changed to a foreigner who doesn't speak very good Greek! It annoyed me a great deal back then, but now, I think it's hilarious!

SilverLining

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Re: Mispronouncing words...
« Reply #8 on: April 09, 2010, 12:56:08 PM »

In my NM's situation though, I think she is just that ignorant about pronouncing words.  After all, she is so wrapped up in her that she doesn't listen to how others pronounce words so she just lives in her little world and, since she is always right, doesn't learn from correction.  We don't even bother to correct her or react to how she pronounces it. 

I'm always amazed when I get on this board and find others have experienced the same weird behaviors.    My father reads constantly, but since he doesn't interact with actual people, he often fails to learn correct pronounciations.  And if anybody else dares to correct him, it becomes a mini confrontation. He'll say something along the lines of "what makes you so sure?  Maybe we need to find an expert to see who is right"  So others have learned to just let him drone on.   

Of course he doesn't extend the same courtesy to others.  He loves to correct other people.  It's one of his main modes of interaction.   




Nonameanymore

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Re: Mispronouncing words...
« Reply #9 on: April 10, 2010, 05:21:00 AM »
Silver, I can so identify. Mine used to challenge me all the time. I would say 'the sky is blue' and her reply would be 'says who'. 'The sea is blue' 'says who?'. 'I am a girl', 'says who?'. OMG, I never thought anyone having had similar experience. I know exactly how annoying this is.

HeartofPilgrimage

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Re: Mispronouncing words...
« Reply #10 on: April 10, 2010, 09:59:33 AM »
I have noticed that a lot of people in my part of the U.S. have similar trouble with certain pronunciations that my mom does, so I don't know if her problems are really related to her personality problems, but she really does have trouble correctly pronouncing certain things and never fixes it even when she knows she's saying it wrong and clearly has the capacity to say the word correctly. I'm not talking about long or unusual words, normal words. My favorite of her mispronunciations is "phlegm". She pronounces it "fleem". I grew up thinking that was correct until somebody laughed me out of the room for saying "I have a cold and have so much 'fleem' draining down my throat." The main thing I think is a personality trait is that she never self-corrects (like noticing that somebody on TV or whatever pronounces it differently and changing her pronunciation spontaneously) and that even if it is pointed out to her she never changes even though it is clearly within her ability.

Hopalong

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Re: Mispronouncing words...
« Reply #11 on: April 10, 2010, 10:31:46 AM »
I think a lot of the aggravation of it is that for many Ns, words are not for communicating to another person, they're just noise for attention.

So how they use words is particularly strange and unsettling, like an uneasy feeling in the air before bad weather.

Even for those Ns who are educated and pronounce everything right.

When an N is talking you know somewhere, somebody's caught in a flash flood.

Hops
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SilverLining

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Re: Mispronouncing words...
« Reply #12 on: April 10, 2010, 03:49:10 PM »
I think a lot of the aggravation of it is that for many Ns, words are not for communicating to another person, they're just noise for attention.

So how they use words is particularly strange and unsettling, like an uneasy feeling in the air before bad weather.


Very interesting.  Thanks for the insight Hops.  I definitely start to feel weird and unsettled when I get stuck listening to my father for more than a minute or two.   It's sort of like listening to a machine.  Sometimes what others say presses a button and starts a recorded message, but there is never any real communication.   

On a related issue,  I wonder if it is typical for N's to use repetitive (and annoying) phrases?   For example, my father says "Ya know" about every other sentence.   In a five minute monversation, he might repeat it 10-15 times.   

JustKathy

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Re: Mispronouncing words...
« Reply #13 on: April 10, 2010, 07:22:26 PM »
My NM's thing was to create her own language, and force eveyone to abide by it. She had her own words to describe certain things, and everyone in the house was expected to use those words, or else. For example, we were to use the word "garbage" but never "trash." (We had moved to the U.S. from Canada, and she said that Canadians were superior to Americans, and that trash was a low class American word).

Another word that I remember was that the garbage disposal in the sink was a "grinder." I have no idea where she got that one, but that was the required word. No one challenged her on it because it just wasn't worth listening to her go into an N rage over a word.

She did sometimes mispronounce or misuse words, but as Logy said, it was ignorance. She was very uneducated, and learned everything she knew from watching television. However, she truly believed that she was a genius, had been a gifted child, bla bla bla, so again, no one ever corrected her. It was better to just let it go.

gratitude28

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Re: Mispronouncing words...
« Reply #14 on: April 10, 2010, 09:28:43 PM »
OMG, Kathy! We have a "language" too. Mom says "pop" for soda, "readding up" for cleaning, "sweeping" for vacuuming... Of course she uses words like that repeatedly so that someone will have the opportunity to ask why she uses those words and she an explain. There are a million more such words.

Yes, Hops, I don't think they do use language to have a two-way communication. Good point!
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable." Douglas Adams