GS - maybe it's not OCD; maybe your brain just gets "bored" doing some kinds of tasks and needs another stimulus to distract it from those auto-start tapes, while you do a task that doesn't require heavy decisions, thoughts, or attention. Like, if I'm sweeping my big patio - it can take several hours - if I don't turn on the radio, then all the junk in my head starts to get active and sometimes, before I know it, I'll be resenting someone, anyone... because here I am working all by myself... and of course, that kicks anger into activity and then self-pity and then.... ... but the radio is just enough sensory stimulus to keep part of my brain "busy" enough while my body goes through the motions of sweeping, sweeping, sweeping - and still leaves enough attention for my eyes to spot that one pine needle that was trying to "get away"!
I don't know about where you are, but here it's ungodly, hellishly hot - and the humidity is over 80%. I need to go out & spray roundup before my next batch of company gets here. The forecast is for more of the same (and little chance of rain) for the foreseeable future. I REALLY don't want to do this. I keep telling myself: who really cares, anyway? Well, I do. I really want it done. Now, I know that this kind of heat is my nemesis - I'm from the land of blizzards originally, and even if I do take all my clothes off it's not going to help cool me off! And taking a shower to cool off - only means I'll need another one within the hour - but a cool shower will feel SOOOO good! (and I think I really need to, to be fit for human consumption). The sooner I get started, the cooler (well, not really, but you know what I mean!) it will be... it was 81 when I woke up at 5:45 this morning and all my windows were fogged on the outside from the temperature difference...
but here I am sitting in the A/C, in semi-darkness, checking in here.... instead. My body is thanking me - and reminding I need to eat a little something and not just drink water all day long in this heat. Even THOUGH there are "things that have to get done". And it's OK, you know? It's not bad... it's not being stuck...
because part of me NEEDS this right now.
My point being: maybe you NEED to tone down or drown out the tape loops in you head - maybe you could try just accepting that, but setting some limits on "how much" and create an informal schedule of "when". (something flexible, you know?) What I'm saying is, your need is real - and by meeting that need on a regular basis - perhaps you'll find that it's easier to do those other things on the list.
If it's automatically shameful for us to indulge in mindless TV and just hanging out online... then there are a LOT of us who qualify as "junkies". A.) perhaps we NEED that kind of downtime distraction and B.) most of us don't spend enough time online/with TV to truly qualify as junkies... (there is a scale, you know? a range - any TV isn't automatically evil if a true TV junkie is someone who watches 18 hours a day w/o doing anything else...)
... and C.) who said it was OK to kick yourself for meeting a real need that you have? Just because it's not food, clothing or shelter - doesn't mean that your need for distraction of the brain or connection via online hanging out - isn't REAL.
I'm trying to be your defense lawyer against those auto-start, self-demeaning tape loops in your head. I've been gradually doing this more & more myself - and it helps! Some good phrases, to keep handy to quiet them down are:
Who says?
Where is it written?
I don't HAVE to.
I'm giving myself a day (or afternoon or hour) off, thank you very much.
In what value system?
Who cares? (and if the answer is "me" - then I have to negotiate with myself and make an appt to fulfill the task at some future time, if not right now)
It's GOOD ENOUGH; it doesn't have to be perfect; I'm the only one who can even see it.
It's like you have to defend a boundary between yourself and your needs - and those old tapes. Well, maybe it is a boundary in reality, too. Does that make any sense? Does it work for you, too? If it doesn't, I wonder what is different... can you see it?