Thank you all so much for all this kindness, what an amazingly loving outwelling of support.
Your thoughtfulness and caring--and perspicacity!--has really helped hold me up through the last few days.
Bless every one of you.
Sea storm--thanks for being one who floated love right back to me when I reached out for it. Thank you, it really helped. I'll keep on reminding myself that more love-surf keeps rolling into my life.
PR--thank you for these perfect words:
Take care of your heart and "home" will take care of itself.
The well-timed bear hug was spot on, too!
Sela--I poured my feelings into preparing her food box. Little treats in little bags, fresh cut vegs, fancy granola, cheese sandwiches with her favorite mustard and bread I baked last night, curried cashews, cans of V8, kombucha tea, fruit cups, cocoa-goji energy squares, and a bag of catnip for the kitties! And the notes--your thought reminded me that she absolutely craves real-mail, as in handwritten letters in the mailbox. So I'm going to write her weekly for a while. I know that will matter to her (as long as I keep things emotionally neutral, my homework).
TT-- agnostic or not, I really have seen over and over that I trust that praying for people does help them. I don't know why, but I am really grateful you would offer it. Please do. Thank you very much, good heart.
Deb, thank you--I love the idea of us both growing up again. That's true. We're certainly not either of us without fear...both of us trend toward anxiety and she's at the age where panic attacks are striking--it's also true that she's feeling the fear and doing it anyway. As am I. I loved it that you kept saying "fearless" anyway. I told her the other night I think she is brave. (As to her being able to come home again--I would honestly not say that now, not until/unless she grows kinder. But in my heart, she always has a home, for sure.)
CB--you are a voice of reason and an image of inspiration at the same time. Thank you for always reminding me I can create joy in any home I choose to. Seriously. Your vision, your sense of hearth, always eases my heart (and it's contagious!). I will let myself grieve over losing this house because I should let the feelings be what they are, but thanks to you, I will also have faith there can be much happiness in another. and I know it will come out all right. A place is just a place, until we put our hearts there. Faith is what you remind me about. Thank you.
M02--Refuge is the right word and little is a NICE one. Thank you. I send you the same....refuge, comfort, safety. You deserve refuge too and I hope it manifests soon and solidly. Keep me posted, please.
Izzy hon--What a fine and helpful mantra: She will do fine. And thank you too for the reminder that when we are next together, there will be a new relationship then. I agree. I don't think we'll just keep recycling one bad year. Neither of us could want that. Regardless, I'm going to practice boundaries and calm to help that cycle end.
Lupita, thank you. You're right, we really are all doing the best we can. Worrying and panicking really doesn't do anything but wear out my adrenals! I need to remember that.
GS--Yes, all this love and support is making an enormous difference. Yours, too, and thank you for it. It's definitely time for me to get back into my favorite state of mind, or at least the one that most reliably holds me up or helps me get BACK up. Gratitude. No matter how simple, a small moment can bloom in the heart and help me see love and beauty, free for the seeing. Much love and beauty back to you, wise fighter.
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She left this morning (well, I had to head for work while she was still loading). My friend came over early to help us carry down Ye Olde Python Tanke. From which poor ole snake was looking out as if to say, a new view? Okay! Been bored! I fixed up the cat carriers with padded newspapers covered with towels and put a little quilt square like a "pillow" in each one. It'll be a long hard yowling two days for D while she's driving, but they'll make it.
She flew down last weekend, truly panicking the night before over whether she could find a place, and promptly found one. A bit of a dump, but she can walk to the beach, she was relieved that they took her bad credit and all (she does have good rental references) -- and it appears that it will all come together. Now, she just has to find a job in 8 weeks before her money runs out! But...that's part of the adventure.
She was prickly and edgy as ever this morning, but as I left, she called me back and asked for a hug.
Please do pray for her as she travels.
Thanks again everyone, from full heart...
love,
Hops
