Hi Les and everyone!
I feel such a kinship with those of you on this thread. I am just licking my wounds from an overnite with NMom two days ago. This time an old friend went with me, to watch my back, but I still had to go to bed for a day when I got home - I swear I don't understand the power of that little woman, but I get really sick after being in her company, being invisible and voiceless - this time I had tingling arms and legs on top of the boohoos and a major headache.....grrrrr. Sometimes I feel she is Evil in flesh. One of the hardest things, I find, is to not be able to trust my own mother. I still grapple with that concept. She is doing quite a few things to undermine me at the moment, and I only know thanks to the grapevine. When I confronted her with one issue, she managed to twist my words to such an extent that I wanted to kill myself out of sheer frustration. My friend calmly changed the subject to admiring NM's outfit, which led to her giving us a 1 1/2 hr fashion show of her new clothes ... at midnight until 1:30am!!! And that is when my friend saw my NM twirling around like a six year old, showing off her new things.....it was really really scary to see.
Les, I am interested that you have a SW on the scene now. That must be a huge help for you. I'd give my eye teeth to have one come to see NM. Unfortunately, NM puts on such a fabulous show whenever anyone else is around, that I doubt a SW would see anything wrong with her and her situation at all. However, cataract surgery is looming on the horizon by spring. That might affect her driver's licence, which might affect her independence, which might lead to putting her in a Retirement Home - have my fingers crossed!
Yes, the intellectual side of me knows that I should just run away in the other direction and never look back, but since I am the only one left in her family, no siblings, etc - I feel a responsibility to make sure she is okay. I'm hoping to just talk on the phone and not go back until Christmas. Quite the tightrope I'm walking these days.
Thanks for being there, and understanding, and helping, everyone. Couldn't manage to cope as well, without you all and your helpful voices. I can't quite see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I trust that it is there.