Oh, Cadbury, I felt the stomach knots myself while reading your post about your visit with the ex. Owww. I have the same panic and fear in in dealing with my ex. I do believe that it will be better to face him and it (fear) down now, rather than later, because I believe it never really goes away, so you might as well get the 'battle" overwith, or at least learn how to do it, as in the case of my ex, his "possessions" (children) are indeed what he views as his arsenal and "purpose" at the same time.
I am so sorry that you are in this situation. You did the right thing, walking out. And you are completely right to have a (large...good idea, Brigid) friend with you next time.
Don't believe for a second, that your ex has forgotten anything. He is probably strategizing at this moment. I say this not to scare you......don't be scared any more. Just be prepared and thus powerful, and he won't be able to take you by surprise. Just do it. Much better than avoiding it.
He knows the score now. Yes, he views your child as a possession. It's hard to get beyond that, I know. But he will not change that view, he is incapable. Get armed.
My ex did indeed use my (very understandable and justifyable) anger to win his case against me. So use your anger toward him to get prepared and strong, but don't let it cloud your judgement into spewing it in court. Stay focused. The courts in the US anyway, don't care why people break up.....they want to hear that you care about your child. That's all. You know HE will be able to fake that......so your TRUE caring for this child needs to be your focus.
That man was abusive to you and you have every reason to believe he could be toward your son. He had nothing to do with you toward the end of the pregnancy, and has a bad track record, etc etc. Use that stuff. and please GET LEGAL HELP!!
I know you have a lot on your plate (egads, woman, a Phd and small children???? You are amazing)....but you ARE amazing, so this guy is small potatoes. You can do it!!!!!!!!
