Voluntary Simplicity stuff

[Hopalong]

Sure, Leah...post away!
A laugh would be very welcome.

Hops

[sea storm]

Continuing to unclutter.

I built a bonfire and it was helpful. It was a pleasure to see the stuff go up in smoke. Old chairs that just needed to be glued and painted. Years of art projects uncompleted. Clothes etc. This is so much easier than recycling it all. A lot of it would not be accepted by a second hand store anyway.

I hired a details expert to organize my stuff and enourage me to throw out stuff. This was fifteen dollars an hour and worth every penny. I still lhave tons more to get rid of due to my love of treasure hunting.  I have lots of lovely things that have a chip in them or a crack running down the back or requireing buttons etc.  All that Potential.  And out it goes.
I keep the siimplicity idea in the crosshairs but I am not good at it.  I dreamt that I was drowning in stuff and it was so clear that I just need to throw the stuff out.  Hmmmmm perhaps it is a metaphor for my life.
So thank you for reminding me of simplifying things. I am just noodling along and getting there slowly. As I do that my house looks better and I like that.

Sea storm

[Hopalong]

(((((((((((Carolyn, Axa, TT))))))))))

Sea, how amazing and wonderful! You actually DID a bonfire! Wow.

And Leah, that's a great story. BURRRRRRRP!

I am so happy to read these responses, because I just bumped the thread because I'm stalled again.
You all inspire me.

love,
Hops

[Hopalong]

Welllllll, back in 2007, when I was sure I was going to declutter and get All Organized, I started this thread. Re-read it just now (Sea! Saris! Salon!) and enjoyed revisiting old friends....

But not the Old Issue. That said, figured I'd just face that fact (its durability) and pick up from where I left off.

Knee is a problem, but not an excuse. Morning's soon over and I pledge to...DO. Just "do domestic" instead of watch, read, write the day away. I hope.

Hugs,
Hops

[Twoapenny]

Ooh I didn't even know this thread was here, Hopsie, I think it pre-dates me!  I wish I could send you some of my organisational vibes, Hopsie, I love sorting out great big piles of stuff, I would whizz through your place, we could put the music on loud, drink tea and teach Pooch to dance all at the same time   Have you picked up any little tips or methods over the years that have helped or does it remain a big question mark problem?  I'm remembering you saying about doing the 'child at play' thing when the MulitMix exploded - does that help with clutter or is it only good for kitchen spills?  Would writing about it inspire you to do it more or is it just beyond inspiration?  Sending tidy thoughts from across the pond xx

[Hopalong]

Thanks, Tupp.

Have you picked up any little tips or methods over the years that have helped or does it remain a big question mark problem?
I've learned all the pragmatic + ADD tips in the books--don't need methods or tips; in fact when people respond with those it makes me feel worse. The problem is only my psychological resistance, anxiety and perfectionism and laziness and avoidance and fear of failure and self sabotage. Near-phobic territory at times, other times I just make my peace with it. I'm working on it with my T.

I'm remembering you saying about doing the 'child at play' thing when the MulitMix exploded - does that help with clutter or is it only good for kitchen spills?
My T asked me if I could just access that amazing energy/mood again. I'm sitting with the question. I think I'll find a way to let it out again, just don't know when. 

I mentioned something about my frustration over it to M the other day, and he came up with the delightful idea that he would set up a chart with my tasks to do and monitor it for me. He had started to ask me now and then, did you do this? Did you finish that? I hope he was joking, but told him I didn't want to answer any more questions and didn't want him ever to in any way remotely try to coach or supervise or instruct me about it. "You're not my daddy" was my killer phrase. I shut him down with a thud but the idea that he would leap to do that--and being so highly executive he would--horrified me so much about being controlled that I didn't feel like talking to him the rest of the day. No fight or anything, but oy...

I'll sit in my own mess until I figure out how to clear it up. It's a direct barometer of peace and growth in other areas.

Would writing about it inspire you to do it more or is it just beyond inspiration?
Writing about it is off limits because I want to reserve my writing energy for creative writing, not for self-therapy. That's sacred space. But I'll write here about it for sure.

Thanks for the kind support, Tupp. I know the Amazons would make short work of it all, and my T (gave her a Zoom tour) said it's not as bad as I depict. Hmm.

hugs
Hops

[Hopalong]

Thanks, (((((CB))))). I know, Izzy. One of the bravest humans I've ever known.

My usual M-Day practice is to do everything BUT reminisce. Avoiding it and being gentle with myself and distracting all I like works fine. Not depressed, but aware it's a fragile day so I am just handling with care.

Much thanks,
Hops

[Hopalong]

Simple pleasures PLUS bunny visits?
Ohhh that sounds sweet, CB.
I'm so glad you're enjoying it all.

My simplicity on Mothers' Day is more about not
rocking my emotional boat by thinking about my D or
feeling that hurt. If I scheduled things with others
I'd feel it impossible to avoid all the chatter about children
and families and how happy most of the mothers feel.

It's gotten a lot better, eight years on. But I do treat it
as a day best spent alone, and with distractions, just to
stay as numb as I can. It worked fairly well. I had several
friends call with the kindest intentions, but found I was okay
just saying to them, "This is a still, meditative day for me"
and then turning the subject back to them. I'm touched that
several think of me and my D situation on this day, and also
grateful they don't press me to talk about it.

Otherwise, I'm failing mightily at the moment to accomplish
much of anything. I think it will pass...hurting my knee so
badly encouraged my cowardly just-give-up reflex. So the
battle is on!

I like your examples of one thing at a time, and not a grandiose
project list. Even making a list is too daunting for me right now!

Big hugs
Hops

[Hopalong]

Sounds like you're already half-Kondoed, CB!
I'm happy for you.

Purging IS slow and you're doing it, facing it.

Awesome.

hugs
Hops

[Hopalong]

I watched her Netflix special, which I found actually moving. I need to watch it again. She's not fully my cuppa tea, but the process is oddly deep and touching for many participants.

I did purge my clothes well, and at least sort of half-fold everything in my dresser according to her method. I now roll my socks and stand the rolls sideways in a shoebox top in my drawer. I added a basket for underwear. It did make the dresser a lot easier to use.

BUT. I have an enormous paralysis going on. Been there before and the toll it takes on my confidence is huge. I have a TERRIBLE time...this is so strange to admit...getting off my ass and going outside to plant flowers in planters and some seeds out front. Part of it was that I was in pain for weeks after the knee crack, okay. But I'm better enough that I should be outside and at least do something. I buy seedlings and then don't water them, in the past I've even let them die.

I think projects freak me out for some reason and I have some old tape about domestic functioning that is drowning out my efforts to kindly get myself in gear.

I did hire a friend's son to come help me with weeding this weekend. That will help a bit. But overall there's something really plugging me up with taking care of my own needs, at home. Some big block that's about losing steam, letting go, giving up. Just for me things...don't call me the way they used to.

Anyway, I'm talking about it in therapy and hope to god that helps. She's empathetic but almost too perky about it and I hope I don't stay stuck.

hugs
Hops
PS It could be how I manifest depression, I am not sure.

[lighter]

Hops:

Just let the fear go and relax into acceptance of whatever it is you fear the most. 

Accept some seeds and seedlings will die. 

Accept you aren't going to DO the house stuff..... do it perfectly.... do it perfectly all the time, the way you feel you should, want to do it, HAVE to do it in order to feel OK.

Just..... accept it.  Let it go.  Turn to your senses in this moment and get very curious about what's going on.  Focus on it..... as a friend with good intentions. 

Drop the judgments.  I hear you and I hear judgment about yourself.  It's painful to read, bc you deserve your own deep, consistent compassion.  You have it for others on the board.  You're so deserving of it, yourself.

And breathe.

If I sound trite... apologies all around.

But find some focus for the shapes, colors,  and sounds around you.  I know you're aware of how to do this.  I remember reading this advice from you.... yeeeeeaaaars ago.  It was about going outdoors, and focusing on trees, bark.... grass.  You shared this with me.  It helped a little, but I didn't understand why it helped.  It's profoundly changed my life. 

Just a gentle reminder, bc breathing is easier than going round and round with unkind thoughts about ourselves, IME. 

Lighter

[CB123]

What Lighter said.

CB

[Hopalong]

Thanks, guys. Those posts really helped. Not in gear yet, but trying to put the unkind-to-self stuff in a NON-transparent box!

Lighter, your gentle guide to creating gentle emotional space around this was wonderful. Thank you.

CB, knowing you get it was too. Quarantine really does leave one home alone with one's excuses or lack of them. That's right. And inertia is the exact right word. My mean inner voice would call it laziness, but inertia has more dignity.

Young hired friend came yesterday and did three hours of weeding and tidying out back which really helped. He needs very detailed instructions but works hard. So now if I can kneel on a pad just a few minutes at a time, I should be able to stay on top of it. There are spaces to plant new things, too (or maybe some of his weeding was accidentally over-thorough).

Today my goal is to plant things in planters on the patio and out front. We'll see. Knee isn't great but I'm gonna do SOMETHING. Plus, look at so many trees and watch the birds.

hugs
Hops

[lighter]

Hops:

I'm glad you're in the sun, planting and moving. 

Maybe inertia acts like a riptide in our lives. 

We have the choice to struggle, flail and judge ourselves and the tide, or....
rest.

Gather strength and be ready when the riptide releases it's grip.

Maybe staying curious and nonjudgmental means fewer riptides... shorter riptides.
Lighter

[Meh]

I was not in control of the mental clutter. Some of the mental clutter is extremely important, WAY too important to ignore, but it deserves its own time and space. Sometimes thoughts and feelings want to spring up on their own, but I'm having such a mish-mash of stuff filling my head.

I want a type of psychological simplicity of thought. I have to be careful of what I allow myself to think about and for how long and when. It's almost like I need to save the important stuff for the weekend, which is nuts.

I have clutter because my space is small, and I'm a bit of a slob. I haven't been consuming anything at all but food and basics. Spending doesn't mean much to me now, and neither does shopping as the only thing I've bought is food and books. My relationship to the earth is mainly that I look at it, but I do NOTHING FOR IT. Then again, I own no patch of it. The earth goes to the highest bidder as far as I can tell, she is like a whore. I'm not too fond of lawns. I'm not sure what enough is because I'm pretty lonely at the moment and don't feel content. We own our stuff yes because we can violently punish others for taking it and argue that the violence is justified. I can throw most of my stuff away without too much agony, so it doesn't own me no. Time is a real problem for me, and I'm not managing it too well. I've got unexpected seepage in my thoughts.

I'm just going to say it, wrong or right. I resent the fact that some people are in quarantine with their lovers the people they are fucking. Okay I said it. Strike me down Jesus. -- Because how bad can quarantine be if one is at least getting some good sex. How can they even whine about it.