My brother and just life and stuff

[Meh]

Eh, my roommate is now having a work from home schedule so my plan for the whole shift change doesn't make much of a difference as it turns out.

There is a manager at my job who is flirting with me. Actually tickled me today, yah, I'm not offended, it's entertaining but highly not work appropriate but then again the whole company has ow standards in that regards.

So I am slightly wondering if there is any chance that anything would come of it.

To make it weirder he is a different race, so that adds another layer of haziness of like "how am I suppose to respond to this/interpret this/ are there some kind of special cultural rules" etc.

the manager /co-worker thing is probably the messier part of it

It would make my brain explode if I were to think about it so I am not.

Plus the fact that if he was kind of serious he should just ask out on a date or something. Which the idea of honestly terrifies me.

This has nothing to do with voicelessness. But hey honestly I Can't formulate a single plan in my head about this. Nor do I even know if I should say anything to him about it. Not saying anything is rather passive.

[Meh]

Yep, today I got teased for blushing by that guy etc.

I haven't responded to this stuff directly.

Not really sure if I want to do anything about it.

[Meh]

Well he didn't flirt with me at all today. I think maybe he was tired from his weird shift and all.

Heh look at me wanting it to turn into a date or something like that

[Meh]

Was on a dating site, there was a photo of an older women in some guys pictures who looked a lot like my mother. It makes me think how some part of me still wants to say like:

"I miss you, I wish we could see each other more often"

It's like maybe I miss the façade of who I WANT her to be. I miss like that ideal love-object... not even ideal, just sentient at least.

There is something about Nar people that one could say it's like they are non-sentient. Any whos..

I know I don't miss my mother, but I miss what I could have had in a family still and now I am getting quite old to feel that way. I judge it as baby-ish.

[Hopalong]

Heck no, it's not babyish.

Check out the comments with this article: http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/01/20/a-risk-in-caring-for-abusive-parents/

People right up through middle age and beyond have the same feelings.

You never outgrow a need for love, even when you are forced to look for it elsewhere.

Hops

[Meh]

tired today, the company I work for does shipments to people, if the stuff arrives broken and is large sometimes we make the customer deal with disposing of the product themselves and it can even cost money

today I had a customer who was going to have to pay $200.00 to dispose of something which was broken, we gave a refund for the cost of the product but then the customer calls and complains to me about have the broken junk sitting around and needing to get rid of it

our business doesn't have a regular way for disposing of these items

one manager offered 20.oo   a different manager said the customer was "shit out of luck"   the first customer service person who talked to the customer told him to call us back and that is when he got me..... and the previous person never finished that case so now it's sitting on my lap

I get annoyed for as much as my stupid company talks about customer service they do not have a method in place

the customer contacted 2 charities to see if they would take the broken stuff and they would not.

so now I am in the position of giving the customer the run around or ignoring him IDK really what is expected of me in this case

it put me in a really bad mood when I left work as I Was already tired and grumpy.

I took a little bit of a nap, did some laundry.

going to sleep soon, that is all, wishing that I had somebody to talk to but I don't

[Meh]

Called in sick today, am very tired of my living situation. Since now it has evolved from me sharing the bathroom with one other woman to now 2 men..... this is not what I agreed to.

Last night I was feeling well, like the flu or something IDK

[Meh]

Since I am home sick I am logging into turbo tax. Reset password, request W2 form from the business that hasn't sent me one yet.

Looking for rentals on Craigslist and it sucks.  

Actually I found all 3 copies of my W2's So I think I am almost finished with my taxes now.

[Meh]

Having chicken soup, feeling depressed that I can not seem to find the kind of rental that I need and that rent is so expensive.

This place where I live now has 6 people living in the house, it's WAY TOO MANY

plus the person organizing it had asked for rent payment to her early because she over spent, meaning the deposits have all been spent by her also

a lot of the decent room rentals are more than half of my salary

[Hopalong]

I feel heartsore for you, Boat.
I am so sorry that you are paid so little that you have to live in these circumstances.

It's not right.

I hope hope hope you can find another place to live, with gentle companions.

A little peace.

Hops

[Meh]

Thanks Hops,

You so often really read what I write.

Often I feel like I shouldn't be venting because it seems like I always have something that I am not happy about.

And now the woman who is organizing this roommate situation is pulled up into the driveway. She doesn't seem to have a real full-time job another point of annoyance which I have discussed with another housemate here. She isn't very focused on work it seems. IDK

I do know that with my previous roommate I didn't vent about that because it was clean and peaceful and we were on the same page about what we wanted I guess.

The current positives are:

Since I called in sick on Saturday and I normally have Monday and Tuesdays off this results in me having a 3 day weekend even if unplanned and feeling sick it was still a good reminder that sometimes I NEED A LITTLE EXTRA time to get my own business done, such as the taxes. YAY

Positives:

I don't have a lease, as soon as I find something else I can leave
I went through my clothes and tossed a handful of items I don't need
I've only called in with being sick once in the past 8 months at my job
Some kind of dental and health insurance is supposed to kick in soon from my employer, it's not great, it has a large deductible and a total limit of benefits which is only like 1,000.
Still I can see what use I can make out of the insurance.
I've done nothing crafty for like a whole year, I might invite one of my co-workers to go to an art museum with me or something. Somebody who keeps pestering me to do stuff.
Going to check about this right now.
I think I am going to organize my stuff a little bit more and then get out of here for the day.

Okay that is done I sent a text to my co-worker asking if he wants to go to an art museum that has received really good reviews and we haven't been to it. Really hope he doesn't think it's a date. I think he will be thankful just for the entertainment of it.

[Meh]

Finished the last step of the taxes, it is submitted and done now I just wait for the refund to come    

Feels so good to get something completed.

[Meh]

Now I am cross-referencing my dental insurance list of preferred providers with YELP reviews. Oh the Joy.

Really not sure that Yelp reviews are reliable.
Not certain what my criteria is

Maybe how soon I can get in to get all of the work done could be a criteria
(speed and efficiency)
(nearness)
(cost?)  I'm not certain if most people even get a price list from their dentist. My insurance will only cover part of it so it's going to be relevant.

I know none of this has to do with voicelessness but it's my current event

[Hopalong]

You bet it does, imo, Boat...
hard-working people living on the edge of poverty or destitution?

I can't imagine anything much more voiceless than that.

It's GREAT news you're finally going to get a little health care and dental.

Hope them choppers shine...

Hops

[Meh]

Thanks Hops, yah my progress for today was getting the dental member number via phone call prior to the cards being mailed. Cross that off my list. Baby steps.

I'm feeling very frustrated with trying to figure out my benefits. They don't make it easy and they have one of those crap phone lines that is robotic to call for help. And then one must say representative 5 time before a person answers and then there are transfers so it's already a fail. BUT working through my frustration I have emailed a dentist that I think is covered on the plan to see if we can MAYBE set up an appointment.

I just stress out about everything.