My brother and just life and stuff

[Meh]

Not sure if I said so but manager walked up to me and said I was getting my measly test-required raise now on my next paycheck  Really glad because I had forgot about it. But the prior day I was about ready to stop into somebodies office and have a fit about it.

Also had some guys off of a dating site ask to meet me but I'm too wimpy and afraid to meet them in person...     Sigh

[Meh]

The raise turns out to be a little bit more than what I had been expecting. Not a lot more, just a little bit more. 

[Hopalong]

A well-deserved ray of sunshine to you, Boat!

Have you ever done the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University classes? Changed my life.
And they arrange to cover fees for those what needs it, too.

HOO ah!
Hops

[Meh]

Hoo ahh    

This guy right here you talking about :   http://www.daveramsey.com/fpu

Never have looked into it because 10% of nothing equals nothing. No for real, people have to be making more money than they need to spend in order to save.

I've got zero debt right now, never carried debt etc. accept for a medical bill.

I'm looking Hops, sessing it out on youtube of course   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8nTaXHwauk

[Meh]

I swear I need my own personal electronic complaint box where I can type up all my frustrations though I think I am too tired to do it now. Feel like maybe it shouldn't be in this thread.

[Meh]

There were two facebook accounts that I had set up over the years, and never used them really, they only existed so I could log in and stock other people's Facebooks

So my email got msgs from one of the accounts but I always treated it like spam and totally ignored it

Tonight I pulled up my emails and saw that it was an old account that my brother had friend requested. Of course I feel a little guilty that I never accepted it.

I accepted it and looked at his facebook account. I posted a photo of him and me when we were kids on his facebook page.

Feels like a time warp like I am 3 yrs old and 10 yrs old and 20 years old and 100 years old all at the same time.

Not sure what I am trying to say here. I'm not stuck on it, I don't think about it constantly but I never really got to talk to anybody about it.

I texted his best friend occasionally   IDK

I feel like I never got to talk it out enough or something. I also still have no contact with my nephews which maybe doesn't matter to anybody I don't know.

[Hopalong]

I'm so glad you found that FB account.
I hope you'll meet with your brother's friend sometime.

I can't think why this isn't an excellent place to wail, kvetch, grieve,
and verbalize anything at all.

And I get it -- 10% of nothing. He is very motivating, though.

Might be other/additional ways to earn money that would start
you up and onward. You can always go watch the videos (that's
how they start the classes...and they're really good, psychologically.)

I am not anything like Dave Ramsey politically or religiously,
but for some reason, I found he REALLY motivated me about $$.

Good luck and of course you're still grieving...ever checked out
going to a bereavement group? Exactly what they're for.

Hops

[Meh]

(hi Hops)


It snowed here last night between me commuting home and then a couple hours later opened the door and there was a fresh layer of snow on the roofs, trees, and shrubs.

On of my roommates from Arizona just zoomed off in his car to get groceries. I hope he knows to go slow and not slam on the brakes etc.

I had a log of goat cheese in the fridge so that is my breakfast     

I'm still waking up having my first cup of coffee.

Last night one of my co-workers that I had hoped we could just be friends told me he was attracted to me via email. (not the manager, a different person)

Sigh.  I literally told him  :  "Dude, you are in my friendzone"........    because hey he needed a direct answer so I figured that was direct.

[Meh]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7UmUX68KtE

[Meh]

Today is my day off of work because I work on Saturdays. Yep I get to have days off. This morning around 9 AM my roommate decided that she would knock on the door to my room and try to open the door for some hard to comprehend reason.  I was awake but still laying in bed and obviously not dressed nor ready to contemplate her bizarre plans for disturbing me.

It obviously is not an emergency the house is not burning down. Why she doesn't go to work until after 8 AM and arrives home before 5 PM yet has massive financial needs and debts.... really doesn't make sense to myself and my other roommate who doubt that she has any job at all. Why she decides that for some reason she needs to get inside of my room also is not comprehensible.

Luckily I had stuff in front of the door.   See I am not so paranoid after all.

I'm beyond annoyed and uncomfortable. I'm really too old to live like this.   It always just seems like some kind of f'ed up problem.

Sigh.


Okay what is that saying "STAY CALM AND CARRY ON"  Clearly I need to keep on moving on moving on moving on etc. etc.

I'm so aware of this city time clock feeling of hurry hurry hurry, anxiety and I wish I had more real motivation to get stuff done that I need to do.

[Meh]

Today I set up a physical exam appointment in a couple of weeks. Also dermatologist appointment because I had been diagnosed with skin cancer a few  years ago... and tentatively a dental appointment for March.    

I feel sort of relieved that I can actually do this stuff now. Sigh. Wish it was all happening quicker but at least it is happening. Not being able to get proper health care etc has been bothering me.

I still need to review the details and make sure I understand my insurance. (It's not great but at least it gets my foot in the door) Thank goodness. I feel better about this.

[Meh]

Had to bring up the issue with the lead-roommate who is the "therapist" and subleasing the 4 rooms in the house that she rents.

She walked into my room in the morning on my day off of work. I was still in bed not fully awake and undressed.

Not happy. This would only be okay if it was something worthy of being woken up for (emergency, or pre-discussed situation)

She has serious boundary problems and my boundaries when violated = high anxiety.

So I was cooking a hamburger and I explained to her that I'm not okay with her coming into my room I told her I wasn't dressed etc. etc.

She actually got sarcastic with me about it. She is a licensed mental health therapist. Same person who said that her mother and grand-mother were bi-polar. She also is sharing the same room as her 18 year old son lives in now .....WTF.

The reason why she decided to come into my room was because one of the dogs was "out"..... something which happens regularly. She could have left a paper note in the kitchen I would have seen it when I woke up. The dogs are not exactly well cared for anyhow. The "things" aka pets don't get regular walks, maybe they get taken out on an excursion every one to two weeks. Her dogs, her problem. I was pissed.

So that was uncomfortable. But apparently she also did the same thing to my other roommate because she thought "she heard her alarm clock going off".... which wasn't happening.

Any whoop. At the library at the moment.  Moving forward.

[Meh]

I have moved so many times that I am finding it very difficult to find the motivation to do this again. Moving stressed me out every time.

It's the unknowns, the process of knowing that it's always a gamble. Though often one can kind of get a read on the situation. I knew when I moved into this current place I was never going to be happy here.

Heck life is a gamble

Relationships are a gamble.

Some seem to gamble less and just get it RIGHT more often though.

[Meh]

At Work:

In office, in packed together cubicles.

There is this guy who today and I was getting distracted by his conversation. Heard "Raunchy" "STD's"... and "Dryness".... etc. etc. Then as the day progressed he kept on talking about how he was questioned by police for a report of assault because he pushed some woman sounds like a prior girlfriend or his ex wife I have no idea.. I guess this is what Valentine's day brings out in this guy...

Any who I sat there thinking, Okay ignore, ignore, ignore... But I'm at my desk, and he is at his desk... and you know I feel like I'm not in a work place when I hear this kind of stuff.... So I sent an email to one of my managers asking if they can re-broadcast an email to people asking for toned down a work appropriate conversations.. This has already been done before and I didn't prompt it that time.

It's a call center and customer's have complained about what things they hear on the telephone.

So I got called into an office with the human resource person who I am intimidated by LOL and the head department manager and they ask me who specifically was saying this stuff and I told them what dude it was.

Sigh, I Should probably just try to be classy and calm about it. I always get stressed out like I am going to be punished for saying something.
I was sitting there wondering why nobody else around that area says anything about the situation.

I feel like a 6 year old who is being told by their grandmother to go stand in the corner.

I even left work today wondering if I would be terminated IDK.

Shrug. It is what it is.

[Meh]

Life feels like a pressure cooker sometimes LOL

I woke up this morning at 4 AM with a nightmare... that one of my co-worker's relatives was spitting up blood and laying in a parking lot and we were standing there helplessly waiting for the ambulance to come.

I think it's because I now have a male roommate that gets off of work at about 1 AM or something like that.. and then come in a while later. IDK what is going on with me but my sleep is screwed up recently going through find-new-room-mates..... figure-out-insurance-- budget budget budget... the regular anxieties.

I Stress out about everything.