The island

[lighter]

I got the flu somewhere on the trip.  Fever.  Chills.  Aches in my bones, muscles, teeth, skin.... sometimes it feels like someone is hammering a big nail into my brain.

Yesterday I was sleeping or wishing for the relief of sleep.  Today I started feeling better after my second dose of Dayquil... around 2pm.  Sometimes I feel like I have a filter over my vision.  just very out of it, and miserable... with a cough.

I'm sure I'm a walking petri dish.  Youngest dd is freaking out, and asking for a flu shot bc so many people are dying from the flu this year. 

I look forward to catching up on the board soon. 

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

I got the flu somewhere on the trip.  Fever.  Chills.  Aches in my bones, muscles, teeth, skin.... sometimes it feels like someone is hammering a big nail into my brain.

Yesterday I was sleeping or wishing for the relief of sleep.  Today I started feeling better after my second dose of Dayquil... around 2pm.  Sometimes I feel like I have a filter over my vision.  just very out of it, and miserable... with a cough.

I'm sure I'm a walking petri dish.  Youngest dd is freaking out, and asking for a flu shot bc so many people are dying from the flu this year. 

I look forward to catching up on the board soon. 

Lighter

Aw, Lighter, I hope you feel better soon, I hate feeling that unwell.  It's very all consuming.  I hope it starts to ease off soon and you feel better quickly xx

[lighter]

Thanks, Tupp:

I felt well enough to keep a dental appointment.... needed to replace a broken-down filling.

 Oy..... it was very tough at first.

New female dentist with tiny fingers.  Aside from feeling hit by electricity during the Novocain shot, everything went better than expected.

I'm definitely on the mend, and youngest dd got her flu shot.

The sign went up at the end of the drive at the cottage.  The new ext light works.  Brother cleaning out sheds and cleaning up the landscape. 

A single gal renter booked the cottage and said she kept going back to it again and again bc there's nothing like it on the island.  She loved the artist's retreat vibe, and I'm excited to get that kind of feedback, bc it's what I was going for. 

OMG I made the mistake of turning on the news for the first time in 2 weeks.  I'm deeply sorry I did.   

Lighter

[sKePTiKal]

Yeah, I know Lighter. About the news. The bit with the most immediate impact for me, is a few inches of snow this afternoon. So, for everything ELSE, it probably doesn't affect me personally - and so I'm not going to fuss over it.

[Twoapenny]

Thanks, Tupp:

I felt well enough to keep a dental appointment.... needed to replace a broken-down filling.

 Oy..... it was very tough at first.

New female dentist with tiny fingers.  Aside from feeling hit by electricity during the Novocain shot, everything went better than expected.

I'm definitely on the mend, and youngest dd got her flu shot.

The sign went up at the end of the drive at the cottage.  The new ext light works.  Brother cleaning out sheds and cleaning up the landscape. 

A single gal renter booked the cottage and said she kept going back to it again and again bc there's nothing like it on the island.  She loved the artist's retreat vibe, and I'm excited to get that kind of feedback, bc it's what I was going for. 

OMG I made the mistake of turning on the news for the first time in 2 weeks.  I'm deeply sorry I did.   

Lighter

I hope you carry on feeling better, Lighter, and well done for attending the dentist.  Very difficult when we already feel ill to put ourselves through more!  Glad it was bearable and I hope no more for you to deal with coming up.  The cottage sounds lovely, I'm glad the renter likes it so much and that you're getting so much done to it again.

Yes - I am in blinkers on, avoid the news mode.  Too many people causing too many problems xx

[lighter]

OK.  Upcoming trip to the island, this time traveling by 33' boat with brother.

I feel good about it.   I feel like I'll put many projects to bed AND have time to stretch in the sun and sleep on the sofa with the wind blowing the drapes around.   

Paint Lincrusta wallwaper... looks like old fashioned tin ceiling tiles.... distress it, add layers of paint and hang on bathroom ceiling damaged by water leaks. That would be so nice to not see cheap wood bubbled up.  Some caulk and repairs on wallboards damaged by water.... it was like the walls were crying 2 trips ago.  Or was it 3?   

Finish caulking corner area in bunk room, then paint.   THAT's where the interesting pee smell was coming from.  I think it was wet insulation from a different leak.  All leaks were fixed, but new guys working on roof after I left. They might have done more damage than good, but i wasn't there to check, so.... will hope for the best.

Clean dining room chair upholstery.... I've been wanting to DO that for so many trips now.  They've been through a lot.  They'll go through lots more when I get my hands on them.  If all else fails, I'll paint them.

The seawall has to be moved forward.  We'll decide whether or not to send a small machine in on freighter to sell to Marina or send back.   I want to do a cement wall.  Will see.  Will contact owners on either side to see if they want to share costs and do their property too.  Would all save money AND our shorelines.

Golf cart will be brought in on boat OR we'll buy one on island to skip the tax.  Will see. Whatever happens there has to be copius amounts of grease applied consistently to keep it from rusting into the dirt.

There are decisions around employees, and contracts to be signed or not signed. 

We have kayaks and bikes to offer guests now.... maybe the raft with electric motor can be as well.  It had a rip,but was fixed last trip.  Fishing rods to offer or not, but will have them to use... very happy about that, particularly taking raft out to spot where we troll for Queen Trigger fish just off the beach... not far from cottage. I don't mind baiting hooks with squid. Having these things is a game changer for us and potential renters.  Huge to be able to get around by land and water when you want to go and not stand around waiting and looking for rides, IME.  HUGE.

Will replace broken glass shelf in fridge.

Seal some of the knots bleading through paint in bedrooms, and maybe seal and paint kitchen ceiling and island... lots and lots of Zinser 1 2 3 needed for that.  I won't seal and paint front room, which is all pine paneling. Pretty. 

There's logistics to figure out, and rust repairs on container.   Gutters to be removed, paint then flashing goes up and gets painted I guess.  Flashing gets painted right?  Install two magnetic screens over exterior doors.   I hope they're work the trouble.  Flies are a huge PITA... and I have new fly swatters to bring.

Eventually there's major repairs and insulation to be thought out and tackled in the tow vaulted rooms, but that has to be down the road.  Maybe put D on finishing shed for human occupancy.... a set of bunks, yet still house the bikes/kayaks and certain necessary other items I can't remember now.

I'm very tired so going to bed.  My lungs start producing crud when I get tired. 

Nite.

Lighter
 

[Twoapenny]

Wow, Lighter, it's such a long list!  I hope it all goes as smoothly as it can and that you get some time to relax and enjoy yourself while you're there as well xx

[lighter]

I'm looking forward to this trip, Tupp.

Not too hot.  No distractions, but the work and hammering out business strategies and logistics.

I hope I get some time on the beach too: )

Lighter

[lighter]

Well the first hour of the boat ride was a bladder hammering till I had cold sweats experience.....the winds were NE so we hammered into the waves....or they hammered us.  We stopped, bc a hatch broke and I crawled off the back to pee....OMG....such a relief. 

I chugged a beer, curled up sideways on my beanbag and napped.....no pounding....almost smooth sailing the rest of the way. 

The Frenchman is living Next door still in the house falling into the ocean, no electric or water.  We had him over last night for Queen Trigger fish, broccoli w onions, and rice.  It was fresh and really nice.  We'll take him fishing soon.

The Australian had dinner with us the first night and tonight.  The big event was a 120 foot yacht stranded on a sandbar 50 feet from my seawall.  My brother yelled "I'll help you" and dashed for his boat.

Long story short brother managed to free the massive thing only to watch the guy drive it onto shore.  This time brother brought a pilot on board before dragging him fee and all was well.  Very exciting.

There's another boat ruined on the reef further out....right in front of the cottage...wrecked about a week ago.  Not sure about the story but there's no insurance.  I think the guy caring for it took it out partying and came home drunk.  Odd a local would drive into the reef.  It looks like it's anchored, not wrecked.

Tomorrow we tell the renter he must go.  Met with another maid today and I wasn't ok....not going into that bc I've calmed down.  Today was rough on team radical acceptance. 

I finally asserted myself, kind of in every direction, then had a chat about it with brother.  I wasn't feeling heard and that's not ok.  We drove around on the golf cart to outrun the bugs and share our views, then he went fishing while I had the cottage to myself and painted zinser shellac over knotholes bleeding through paint...very satisfying work,btw.

When brother came back, he had the Aussie with him, and a baracuda already cleaned and ready to cook with 10 lobster tails.  Aussie is very..... adverse to authority.  Lives on his cruiser....calls Thailand home, likes to laugh and tell naughty jokes and has been banned by the wife on the sailboat docked next to him.  He likes Apple bourbon and pineapple juice....it wasn't too bad.  He was about to mess up the wife's neatly coiled docking lines when we saw the yacht.  They, the wife and husband on the sailboat, have a dog, so disaster averted....he would have been caught, for sure.

I had to scrap several projects I cared about.  Not my choice and part of golf cart discussion.  I'm making peace with it but wasn't easy. 

Brother super sweet to me when he got back from fishing, btw.  Tomorrow I paint 2 ceilings, organize a bit, let new maid do her thing....then we troll for Wahoo.

Oh....Im not cut out for boating.....dont care a bit about it come to find, but brother adores and is amazing at it.

Super sleepy....back aching from fishing and work.  I had 2 monsters on my pole the first day, but they got away.
Happy Valentine's Day!

Lighter💖



 

[Twoapenny]

Wow, Lighter, boats/sailing/waves/oceans - they all make me run as far inland as I can get.  You are incredibly intrepid to prepare yourself the way you do and then just get on with it.  I'm glad the journey settled after the initial start and I hope the journey back (are you sailing back or catching a plane now?) is a smooth one, whichever method you use!

Is the Frenchman no electric or water because he likes 'back to nature' or is there another reason?  V nice for him to be invited for such a yummy dinner!  Sounds delicious.  I did chuckle about the guy driving the yacht into shore after being rescued by your brother

Is the renter the one you've had a few problems with?  I hope the maid situation gets resolved.  Good to keep it to one side until it doesn't affect your quiet so much.  But hope it isn't too difficult to sort.  And I'm glad you felt able to speak up about things you weren't happy about.  Did you feel heard by the time you'd finished?  Good luck with getting all the other jobs done today.  I hope it all goes smoothly xx

[sKePTiKal]

Oh now you're making me drool to stay in the cottage Lighter! Especially the boat ride!!!

I absolutely love boats and the challenge they pose. I'm definitely not a party barge girl. There are some tall ship sailing cruises to Bahamas I've been looking at. Passengers are encouraged to help crew. And they seem to end pretty close to your island. I was daydreaming again, last night about spending a month or so on that adventure.

Oh, forgot though - Buck can't even eat some saltwater fish with his allergy.

And now, Cinderella, needs to start removing as much of the construction demo dust in this house as possible!

[lighter]

Hi, Tupp.  I felt heard.  I'm speaking up and feeling better.  Not sure everyone else feels better, but things going ok.  I guess you'd say I'm

Just caught a fish.  Weather overcast.  Frenchman telling stories on boat.  Relaxed.  Leaning into lazy fish catching no planning projects food planning breath.

Amber.  Bring that man to the island and do some healing.

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

Hi, Tupp.  I felt heard.  I'm speaking up and feeling better.  Not sure everyone else feels better, but things going ok.  I guess you'd say I'm

Just caught a fish.  Weather overcast.  Frenchman telling stories on boat.  Relaxed.  Leaning into lazy fish catching no planning projects food planning breath.

Amber.  Bring that man to the island and do some healing.

Lighter

Well, Lighter, I think the fact that you were able to speak up AND NOT WORRY ABOUT WHETHER EVERYONE ELSE FEELS BETTER is huge - so huge it needed capitals   Amazing.  I'm glad you found your voice and finding ears that are receptive to it    Enjoy the fishing and the relaxing.  Yep, you guys can all go sailing and I'll get the lunch ready and wave at you from the beach   Lol xx

[lighter]

YES....not worrying about managing everyone's emotions is new.  And I'm doing more noticing, like you, with less effort.  It comes and goes.

I do feel good about being aware of my thoughts.  Yesterday I got keys and tools from renter.....no problem or worries.  Very proud of myself for zero people pleasing with that.

We're trolling for Wahoo and switching all poles to purple and white lures after one big hit.

Everyone happy today.  We've adjusted and are better for having our say.  No harm, no foul. 

The Frenchman is playful which gives insight into future dating.....Im pretty no nonsense right now.  Did I forget how to play?

I might work on that with T next week. 

In the meantime I have plumber and lovely worker lined up to put hot water in outdoor shower, put in outlets and such for washer dryer, door we can lock on last outbuildings now housing paint, plumbing and electrical supplies......all bikes, floats, kayaks and raft in large shed, with container set up for golf cart, fishing gear and tools.....my brother worked so hard.

I painted out knot holes with shellac product from Zinzer....BIN I think it's called.  The walls and ceilings lookfresh and clean....will never have to paint again.  Usually do it every visit but had right product this time.

Brother changed out seals in interior short valves....no more leaking rust down wall woo hoo!

Fly screens installed.  Rust on metal doors ground down and painted....it swells doors so you can't close them....constant maintenance.

We're super busy.  Going golf cart shopping later, which means buying used from rental company.

Cooking fresh fish daily, so beautiful.

 Lighter

[lighter]

Update:

Yesterday was tough.  Not gonna lie, but huge relief when it ended so looking at positives.  Lots done....built door for little shed, very strong.  Made out of old deck boards.  David, a local who always shows up,  worked here all day and is here now putting in new drip edge on guest cottage.


I finished painting in bathroom and King rooms.  Sealed knot holes officially with BIN then painted again.  BIN is the stuff.  It's 44.00 a gallon, very thin, lacquer based and you can paint with acrylic water based paint or oils.  I'm going to find a paint that stabilizes rust next.  The metal doors are always in need of grinding and painting.  Lots a things are.

Yesterday I had 5 ( forced) hours to sit and think, manage emotions and cope with stress.  All in all I'm steadier, harder to shake up and am remembering to push on walls and breathe automatically.  There was an alarm bell I literally couldn't breathe through at one point. I was so relieved when it stopped.

I've been speaking up without feeling anxiety.  I didn't speak up to Frenchman when I should have.....trying to figure that one out.  I think I didn't want to make things more awkward, but they are.  Less awkward than I thought, but still awkward.  I'm told I should say I'm dating someone to shut these things down, but lies always feel like a mistake to me. I shift into future and picture all kinds of more awkward situations.  Getting caught in a lie would feel like a mark on my soul....and....why does that matter so much?  I care what people think, despise chaos and really don't want to be the engineer of more confusion than I deal with regularly.  And....the kind cut is the stinkiest cut, IME.  No simply means No.  That should be enough.

So, I wish I'd responded with "It's no and we're not going to talk about that again."  Fini!

 I can do that.  I ended up rocked back on my heals ( fig.) defending my NO, which felt horrible. I know better than to let a guy try to change my answer. I feel better having a response ready.....am getting better at "I don't want to talk about that."  Huge relief.

I realize I haven't been to the massage therapist in a long time.  I'm managing with the exercises in the book PAIN FREE, by Pete Egoscue.  Can't say enough goid things about it.  Stretching to align joints and relieve pain.....then stretching daily to keep things aligned.  Makes sense and treats causes.  All for that!

 My brother wants me to stop working outside and let the men be men.  He doesn't understand me working alongside.  I learn and save money....is that a bad thing.  Someone else suggested I be just a "homemaker"....not even sure what that means so I wasn't moved to comment. 

So,renter must start paying rent.  Brother might have security job lined up for him at nearby Marina.  That would be good, I think.

I'm holding my ground with renter....not perfectly.  I had to fight the urge to feed him....I let him take an hour of my evening and I was exhausted to begin with.  Later I set a boundary easily and without thinking, so things coming along.
  The stars are magnificent bc no city lights.  You can see the glow of Miami on the horizon.....interesting.  The dark is very dark here. 

Back to it.

Lighter