Mindfulness and codependence thread

[Hopalong]

Snort. That was a delightful image!

Dunno what a fairy house is, but what a lovely thing to have children in the woods nearby, experiencing magic. And to have parents so comfortable letting their children go play on your porch.

Magic.

Loved the previous post about the "click", too. No more Nurse and Yelly Guy, but more time with an older couple who must look at you as the angel of the woods, bearing pans.

Bravo!

hugs
Hops

[lighter]

You know you're over the little things if you're prepared to admit to being any negative thing any neighbor calls you, then add some stuff on top. That's where I'm at, yup yup yup.

I just installed a big wide shelf, with aluminum siding behind, blocking the nurse's view of my porch, and my view of her front yard (till those newly planted baby Hemlocks grow.)

Lots ya of storage space for pinecones, bark, twigs and lichen....the basic building blocks of good gnome/fairy homes everywhere.

It's absolutely gorgeous out today!  Will figure out something marvelous to do outdoors.

Lighter

[lighter]

Oldest DD moving into her own apartment with best friend.  They go out, socialize, have an active friend group with game nights and she'll likely have a paid internship with her favorite science professor..... teacher's pet has always been her sweet spot.

She's pulled off a 4.0 and loves school.  This reminds me when she was little and was angry she couldn't be in school 7 days a week.  I thought those days were over as she skirted through HS like a rebel, rarely doing homework....but teachers let her pass bc they knew she knew the material.

Youngest DD has good grades....not sure how good, bc she isn't telling.  I'm just glad they chose school for their own reasons, when they were ready and take the responsibility seriously. 

Youngest attending Comic Con event with bf, his mother and her sister..DD says they remind her of me and my sister and they're all in costumes. 

Once DD 23 is moved in, we plan to visit my sis and lovely BIL in Canada for a while.

We'll visit the Ohio cousins.....one has 3rd granddaughter on the way with her oldest DD and wedding for youngest dd...very exciting.  Can't wait to do "This is the way the lady rides" with the toddler....so cute!
That's my update and this post is me avoiding the anxiety of creating dust in the house.  Can you really get everything clean again, ever?  I think not.

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

Aw she's getting her own place!  Amazing, Lighter.  Launching fully grown humans into the world   What an amazing feeling.  Upcoming visits sound great.  You will never be free of the dust lol.

[lighter]

Hi, Tupp:

I'm currently covered in grout dust and about to add a few layers of wood dust.  I scraped, sanded and otherwise beat the old thinset off the backerboard from the failed 12 x 24 inch tile fail..... they were coming down in heavy sharp surprise bombings.  I can't believe the new glass shower door wasn't destroyed.  I'm spent after working over my head for hours..... that ceiling isn't flat.... large tiles were never going to stay.

I cannot believe how much trouble a tiled shower ceiling IS.  Never ever ever ever ever again. Never.  Tomorrow I grout it and all the little things left to do with the grout. 

Things are moving fast now..... DD21 visited for a couple hours with her boy friend and that was nice, but taxing.  He's a talker, that one. 

DD23 called to ask where she could find a tape measure. Before I spiraled into a "I didn't teach my girls where basic tools ARE!" I shifted into.....
I'll put togehter a tool kit for DD and help her organize and store it at her new place... then be available to help her with projects.  That was just what I needed as I've noticed how easy it is for a song or a smell or sight to shift me into the past.  Just noticing.  Not judging.  I move out of it, but I do notice.

And the dust will never be gone, you're right about that.  I feel like I've been at the beach.  I have grout sand everywhere!

Lighter

[sKePTiKal]

Drywall dust is even more pervasive. The studio is going to be a lot of work soon. Custom storage cabinets are begun and may finish by July 4th (my guess). We're closer to finishing trim & setting new cabinets/countertops.

I put together toolkits for my girls too. Just basic homeowner stuff - but when Hol developed an interest in vintage cars, she also got a socket set one Christmas. And she's still acquiring tools! (Amy not so much.)

[lighter]

I'm going to enjoyed y putting together the tool kits. 

So glad drywall dust done, at least for now.

Thinking of rearranging furniture downstairs.....removing bunk bed.

Hope your cabinets and counters go in smoothly.
Happy planting, Amber.

Lighter

[lighter]

It hit me this morning.

I don't drop into the zone or flow states.

I drop out of fight or flight.

Something more akin to that, anyway.

Lighter

[lighter]

Brother and his gf spent weekend with us.  They're fun, helpful and we had the best time during their stay.

Last night we went to a Speakeasy with a voodoo vibe....heard a 6 piece band SO GOOD!

Danced at the next club(all by our onesies) and the entire place was dancing when we
left.

Brother's gf is so funny....she just speaks the heck up, asks questions of strangers and tells them off if misbehaving....all happened last night. No barfight, 2 uncomfortable Uber rides and I called the night a huge success.

P.S.  I could have brought the trombone player home.  Adorable!

[Twoapenny]

Brother and his gf spent weekend with us.  They're fun, helpful and we had the best time during their stay.

Last night we went to a Speakeasy with a voodoo vibe....heard a 6 piece band SO GOOD!

Danced at the next club(all by our onesies) and the entire place was dancing when we
left.

Brother's gf is so funny....she just speaks the heck up, asks questions of strangers and tells them off if misbehaving....all happened last night. No barfight, 2 uncomfortable Uber rides and I called the night a huge success.

P.S.  I could have brought the trombone player home.  Adorable!

That sounds like a really good night   Definite yes to the trombone player   lol

[lighter]

It's a choice, truly.  How to handle every moment.  A choice.

If we're mindful and maybe lucky too.

Lighter

[lighter]

The thing about change is part getting sick of thinking about being sick of repeating unhealthy patterns.....
and familiarity, IME.

Once one understands what's there, it's harder then impossible to go all confused and deny it, IME.

Once one understands what they're looking at, things become very simple, IME.

Choice narrows. 

Guilt evaporates and acceptance opens and settles like a sunshade in 100 degree heat...relief.

Once one stops needing people to be (insert adjectives) things become simpler, imo.  Time expands and becomes exciting again.


The memory of time trudging along, stuffed with defaults, is fuzzy.  Now.

I wonder when it'll drop away and if I'll feel it go or just notice it's not there anymore.

Lighter

[lighter]

My brother had a great first lake Airbnb rental.  5 stars all around, very exciting.

I've healed up stronger and more limber for all the work readying the other lake house with my sister.  Eating better, movement more fluid, less compensating.

My siblings are incredibly competent and motivated individuals I'm happy to have in my life.  I adore my BIL.  We're bonding and getting stronger together.....working together. I can't imagine what we can accomplish, if we're all pulling in the same direction.  I'm excited to find out!

We all have different strengths. 

Lighter

[lighter]

My girls are growing up/sometimes grown.  It's a process and I'm their touchstone after all the years of fearing I wasn't enough. 

I am.....pretty sure....enough.

Seeing the slot in time and place, where I belong....how I fit ....is a relief after years of juggling too much....unexpected much... unbelievable much.

Narrowing my view to MY view, sans other people's opinions of me, my place in the world, their expectations......shuts out the doubt/suffering, IME.   

DD21 surprised me happily by digging in and helping with lake house.  She chats about future visits with friends and asks what help I need, but taking initiative also. For a while there, I couldn't even talk about the lake with her.  She might not be very interested in projects and decorating, but she listens and is patiently honest about it.....now.

Sometimes I see her take brave leaps (fig.) and it worries me a bit.....same with oldest DD.  When I view it, sans judgement, I'm relieved they're brave and willing to take chances and commit to choices. 

[Hopalong]

How does the half-empty nest feel to you, Lighter?
I think that's a tough adjustment, but also liberating.

I hope things continue to go well.

hugs
Hops