Author Topic: Mindfulness and codependence thread  (Read 136762 times)

sKePTiKal

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Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Reply #1080 on: October 22, 2024, 09:43:24 AM »
Hol has a pretty useful mantra - this time a set of questions she asks herself - when it feels like everything is sprialing out of control.

Is anything on fire? (no = don't jump into action)
Is anyone deathly ill? (no = they can take care of themselves; I don't have to take care of them)
Am I being chased by something that will eat me? (no = no reality based urgent threats)

I am FINE; just FINE.

LOLOLOL. Sometimes silliness & laughter is a good antidote.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

Twoapenny

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Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Reply #1081 on: October 22, 2024, 10:52:35 AM »
Sounds like you've got a range of things to try that might help, Lighter, hopefully it's relatively straightforward to get under control and will be one less problem to manage xx

lighter

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Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Reply #1082 on: October 22, 2024, 03:04:29 PM »
Who's booking Trump gigs??  He flew into a disaster area, shut down a major highway and at least one major road in a high traffic area.....shell shocked people couldn't get to work, doc appts or supply runs.....to vote.

It felt like having a hammer dropped on what small normalcy we'd recovered.

And who thought he should pull a french fry medal out his pocket while standing in front of bombed out homes?  Who?










Hopalong

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Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Reply #1083 on: October 23, 2024, 06:42:05 AM »

"I don't care about you; I just want your votes." --DJT
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

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Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Reply #1084 on: October 24, 2024, 04:43:47 AM »
I had 2 spinny episodes today.  One while trying to focus eyes as I took a big breath.

The other when I was on my back to take pressure off lower back.  All was fine till I lifted my knees.

Very odd...made me very nauseous.  The bands should arrive Saturday, Tupp.

ENT appt Friday.

Looking for Dizzy Clinic referral.

The journey continues.

Lighter

lighter

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Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Reply #1085 on: October 24, 2024, 10:25:26 AM »
Cervical vertigo.  The stretching....what a very odd thing....it might be my neck.  Yawning and tensing made things spinny this morning.  Have to track down my retired chiro buddy.  I think he's still at the lake.

Lighter

lighter

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Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Reply #1086 on: October 24, 2024, 10:36:34 AM »
I fell the week of the storm.  Hard.  Didn't hit my head, but it was a jarring impact under quite a bit of weight.  My bones are strong, but it might have jammed up something in my spine.....I guess?

I was more worried about my hip, at the time....in the dark....trees down all around us, going nowhere. 

This dx is typically difficult to make....ruling everything else out, basically. 

Mother of pearl.

lighter

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Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Reply #1087 on: October 24, 2024, 11:29:03 AM »
This month marks 5 years since engaging my beautiful, fearless, clear eyed T.  We briefly touched base after the hurricane and her kind words brought tears to my eyes. 

On reflection....she put a banquet of skills and strategies before me....I picked and chose morsels and bits I could make sense of.  Bits, but  I sometimes had to manually (fig.) put aside unconscious beliefs to force   space enough to pick up, carry and apply.... sometimes only for a short while.

I'm doing some review on this thread.  So many personal pearls I want to revisit and handle again.  Choose again, practice in a more peaceful headspace, bc I choose them...have success and knowledge how to weld them.  Not choose bc I feel chased or pinned.

The night before the vertigo, one DD was in a bad headspace.  I know my BP has to be up.....I likely wasn't drinking enough water....
there were people in my space creating tension and very little serenity....not knowing how bad things were at home ....discovering the destruction , loss of life and horror some people were dealing with.

The vertigo may be a confluence of the fall, tension, BP, dehydration, vitamin deficiencies and general ongoing stress.

And my lack of  attention to my internal world.....inability to select and use tools from that beautiful banquet T set....is something I'd like to tend mindfully for a while.

I already texted Chiro friend.  Will set up schedule.....try to figure out what's out of whack and remedy.  Lengthening and shortening whatever's pulling things out of balance, yup yup yup.

ENT tomorrow.  I hope he can provide helpful info.....along with clean ears.

Lighter

Hopalong

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Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Reply #1088 on: October 24, 2024, 01:54:43 PM »
SO strong, for SO long, with SO many tasks and responsibilities, at SO much speed.

Your inner self is trying to keep up with the outer whirlwind. Your psyche has received a massive shock, along with everyone around you.

You are a take-charge, caregiving human. But inside is a bone-bruised vulnerable child psyche too. It's shuddering at the massive aftermath of the storm.

I think she deserves to cry, to sit and grieve, to listen to soft classical, to let her heart break.

From that comes peace, I believe. It's so painful to let it come through.

Let tomorrow's decisions be what they are. But let her be with you in parallel, and let yourself be vulnerable.

SO strong for SO long. It is human and natural to be weak when you need to. Then healing can begin.

hugs,
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

sKePTiKal

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Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Reply #1089 on: October 25, 2024, 08:18:48 AM »
Lighter, from what I'm reading at my "home spaces" on the 'net a lot of us are feeling like life is piling crap up - needlessly - and not only is it overwhelming, it's carrying with it a huge uncertainty about the near future. This is what people are expressing.

And that sense of things whirling apart is very prevalent. Some people are masking it, but still will admit they have moments when it forces thru. Hol's been called out to "first respond" to friends of her generation having meltdowns lately, so it's not age specific.

I think you're making a good choice about going back through the list of things in your "toolbox" and intuiting which ones will help now, while you find out if there are any physical causes of the dizziness. That could take awhile given the entropy happening in corporate medicine/health insurance.

B's docs LOST the approval paperwork for his stimulator lead change test. He only found out when he tried to ask about an appointment. And when he called the Federal Worker's Comp insurance, his case manager has changed again and she has no idea whatsoever about paperwork sent in the past 3 weeks.

We are trying to simply put one foot in front of the other, sometimes having to hold the "caregivers" hands and TEACH them their jobs. The only other option is to walk away; and we know the outcome of that choice.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

lighter

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Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Reply #1090 on: October 25, 2024, 02:38:49 PM »
 Yesterday evening chiro adjusted back and neck.....all was dizzy free till he turned my head to the right and pressed left of spine in neck and WEEEEEeeeee!!!!

I'm at ENT, waiting in magical miniature train set room.  Huge and in snowy progress.
 Someone here loves Christmas, starts early.

Can barely turn head....woke up in pain...assume from adjustment.  Chiro said this won't last and dizzies will resolve eventually.
::crossing fingers::.

Twoapenny

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Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Reply #1091 on: October 26, 2024, 05:43:49 AM »
Yesterday evening chiro adjusted back and neck.....all was dizzy free till he turned my head to the right and pressed left of spine in neck and WEEEEEeeeee!!!!

I'm at ENT, waiting in magical miniature train set room.  Huge and in snowy progress.
 Someone here loves Christmas, starts early.

Can barely turn head....woke up in pain...assume from adjustment.  Chiro said this won't last and dizzies will resolve eventually.
::crossing fingers::.

Hopefully that's a good sign, Lighter, I know sometimes when I have a treatment things are worse before they get better.  Not nice during the worse bit but fingers crossed it means the problem is getting better x

Twoapenny

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Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Reply #1092 on: October 26, 2024, 05:46:28 AM »
Lighter, from what I'm reading at my "home spaces" on the 'net a lot of us are feeling like life is piling crap up - needlessly - and not only is it overwhelming, it's carrying with it a huge uncertainty about the near future. This is what people are expressing.

And that sense of things whirling apart is very prevalent. Some people are masking it, but still will admit they have moments when it forces thru. Hol's been called out to "first respond" to friends of her generation having meltdowns lately, so it's not age specific.

I think you're making a good choice about going back through the list of things in your "toolbox" and intuiting which ones will help now, while you find out if there are any physical causes of the dizziness. That could take awhile given the entropy happening in corporate medicine/health insurance.

B's docs LOST the approval paperwork for his stimulator lead change test. He only found out when he tried to ask about an appointment. And when he called the Federal Worker's Comp insurance, his case manager has changed again and she has no idea whatsoever about paperwork sent in the past 3 weeks.

We are trying to simply put one foot in front of the other, sometimes having to hold the "caregivers" hands and TEACH them their jobs. The only other option is to walk away; and we know the outcome of that choice.

Oh Skep, sometimes I think the cock ups are even worse if you've had a 'light at the end of the tunnel' moment, as you did with the previous situation.  Always fascinates me when paperwork is lost, the invoices never go missing, do they?  I hope it can be found or reissued.  It's maddening watching the people you have to involve in the process make such a mess of it over and over again.

sKePTiKal

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Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Reply #1093 on: October 26, 2024, 11:32:50 AM »
Yes indeed Lighter! Very maddening. Especially for B, since he's been TRYING to get a working pain mask since 2017, when the Surgeon removed the dirty devices he installed and B had to fight (on his own with my help) to knock down the MRSA infection. Even septic, no one wanted to treat him. He found a doc finally to start IV antibiotics, then continued the course with a home health nurse.

People look surprised when he gets angry at yet another roadblock or hoop to jump through. He's been jumping through all the hoops, following up with everyone - and repeating himself telling them, what it is THEY need to do to request approvals from the federal insurance. And of course, anger doesn't help them understand that it is THEIR JOB to know how to do these things. It just scares them and they withhold any potential workarounds as options for him.

Yet, if they just did their jobs competently, he would be the most pleasant person they deal with. If they CARED enough, to follow up themselves and saw him as a human being who's struggled with all this since '94 (and initially there was a long period where he was stable and the devices worked well) so he's NOT in there to get an Rx for narcotics... he's NOT a perpetual whiner looking for attention... he just wants enough pain relief that is consistent to have a quality of life. No he's not going to be the Bionic Man and instantly return to his age 40ish physical ability. But he isn't going to accept being an invalid either. That's not just male ego talking; it's his true wish to be able produce and care for people, kitties, and the place here.

The trend to see people as just patient number xxxx, has been taken to the extreme and now these docs are like fast food drive throughs. In - out - no actual personal interaction.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

lighter

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Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Reply #1094 on: October 26, 2024, 01:21:36 PM »
Amber, I think I gave you contact info for a retired Army Ranger who worked in this medical/ money end of things AND has an implant/spine.....and he had hook ups to get proper treatment immediately and with best possible outcomes.

He's dealing with operator's syndrome, micro and macro dosing shrooms and in daily touch w/ buddies to keep each other semi sane .... doesn't always work.

He's a resource, not emotionally stable, but smart and experienced in what you guys are dealing with .....at least to some extent.

It might do his head and heart good to listen and perhaps guide/help B's situation. Maybe not, but I know he'd do well to have another cause to keep his wounded soul occupied in a positive direction.

If you're interested, I'll make the first call....or ask him how he might help....if he can help.

He's a warrior.  He knows the system.

Lighter