Friendship Moments: good or bad

[lighter]

There's distance and avoidance.....my specialty, btw.

And then I remember how it felt to feel abandoned in my suffering...at the mercy of the systems, set up to allow, dismiss and excuse male interpersonal terrorists.....and how the culture allows and expects it.

It's not ok.

There should be consequences, creating sea change, in this crap patriarchy, bc it's obviously not succeeded.

I'm torn......
Not r my circus, not my clowns ....
but stepmom doesn't deserve to be cut off from "normal" people, bc her life is dominated by distress and deeply felt discomfort and ick......right?

The in between is the father and son.

The good man with the special needs son......who displays egregiously inappropriate behavior towards women ( and it's assumed children, given the chance.)

And the world's full of unsafe men...... can't throw a stone without hitting one, feels like.

Tolerance would have to change into zero tolerance.

Lighter

[sKePTiKal]

I think my chatty mood this morning, has earned me a new penpal. Someone on another forum is looking to relocate to my side of the state line. She's also an herbalist and forager. Gots the skills. She's been telling me her life story and I suspect it's been awhile since she had a female friend. Been married 50 years and happily so. She's 80, so her requirements for a new place to live are going to reflect that a bit. But I think it's doable for them.

It's been awhile since I've made a new friend too. So, maybe periodic reports of how it's going forthcoming.

[Meh]

Not sure if I said this before.

Found this children's book called Cinderella with Dogs!! The book has a "fairy dog-mother."

I accidentally brought it with me today as I left to get out of apartment. Maybe I need to just clean out my bags of stuff.

Stuff stuff stuff

Anyhow it's a very cute book.

[Meh]

There's distance and avoidance.....my specialty, btw.

And then I remember how it felt to feel abandoned in my suffering...at the mercy of the systems, set up to allow, dismiss and excuse male interpersonal terrorists.....and how the culture allows and expects it.

It's not ok.

There should be consequences, creating sea change, in this crap patriarchy, bc it's obviously not succeeded.

I'm torn......
Not r my circus, not my clowns ....
but stepmom doesn't deserve to be cut off from "normal" people, bc her life is dominated by distress and deeply felt discomfort and ick......right?

The in between is the father and son.

The good man with the special needs son......who displays egregiously inappropriate behavior towards women ( and it's assumed children, given the chance.)

And the world's full of unsafe men...... can't throw a stone without hitting one, feels like.

Tolerance would have to change into zero tolerance.

Lighter

Sounds difficult, complicated and super gross!!  The special needs part doesn't erase their impact on the people around them. Yuck.

[Hopalong]

I see two fixable things?

RESCUING stepmother of the unwell son. Not your job; she can find resources herself. Intimacy with workers' lives and families produce this for you over and over.

SAYING "NO" kindly to father about bringing son. Or NO to either being on your property. Your job is safety for yourself and fam, not hers. He too can find help.

Would this all be easier if you just set boundaries now, instead of letting the old torment about men rise to eat at your peace again? If any male causes unsafe feelings, boundaries -- not fixing. IMn-HO, sorries.

Finding replacement workers has to be easier than going through this....

hugs
Hops

[lighter]

We haven't seen the neighbors since they left.  It's been nice to wear shorts and not worry.  A relief, in it's truest sense.

I just got ahead of the rain with feeding the azaleas, old and new, before the rain and thunder really began.  I brought in all the heavy Italian terracotta tiles, not used in the meditation garden.  And..... it's amazing, guys. 

Assuming we level the old skinny stumps,c which vexed the last two days.

I'd say I had about the right number of tiles.  All that's left is designing some flowers in smaller tiles....adding some stones .....clearing out the sunny half of the island..
.maybe planting wild flowers.

I have 3 pink azaleas to plant with the 40yo Pink Azaleas in the circle.  I've been waiting for this rain to plant.  Will tell the neighbors to come get the last of the blueberry/fig bushes, and lone Peach tree.  The deer won't allow much to live on their stomping grounds.  Will use that flat area for parking.

Next, all the ferns and remaining forest flowers go in.

We're loving this cool soft rain.  So much.

Lighter

[Hopalong]

Meh, I found Cinderella with Dogs and LOVE it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHgxR8NSSmY
(The narrator's voice is TOO flat and neutral, but they're supposed to do that generally, so your imagination fills in. Probably a better one out there.)

VERY funny and this dog-girl really enjoyed it. The illustrations are hilarious. Joyful.

hugs
Hops

[Hopalong]

Lighter, are the neighbors the father and son you were talking about? AAAAGGHHH.

I'm sorry I got it wrong and gave you a lecture about employees.
I feel foolish now. Presumptuous. Damn.

Hope you'll forgive me.

hugs
Hops

[Hopalong]

Amber,
I love that you might be finding a new female friend. She sounds very interesting, open and there's SO much in common!

I look forward to how it goes. You (as do all introverts) deserve adjacent friends!

I hope this is the universe providing for you. (Even if the universe doesn't give a dang, it's a happy thought.)

hugs
Hops

[Hopalong]

Lighter,
I really feel how you love plants and rain, equally.
Beautiful descriptions.

I love rain too. (We need some.)

It's the comfort nature brings over and over, no matter what humans are up to.

hugs
Hops

[sKePTiKal]

It's looking like I was right to wait to start seeds; the Rhodis are finally starting to bloom. Might be thunderstorms and small hail later.

Mudroom is almost done; I have some nice rosemaling pieces to put up - and extra splash of color on the monotonous pine panelling in the house. Just need to smash out the pretty cover for the bench cushion.

I do need a dry day to get outside and start working on the herb beds, pull up last years weed fabric in the veggie garden, etc. Oh - and cutting the grass. Looks like Holly might be on strike this year. But B is leaving to bring in another load on Friday... so I'll have some help until his surgery.

Haven't heard from my new buddy yet much this week - but it's a busy time of year.

[Hopalong]

Sounds divine to me...mountain area, rhododendrons coming awake...heaven.

I'm getting to know a guy who volunteers for the "Village" -- nice person, he seems. He's a bird expert; great big birdy career. In his 20s the job was opening areas of jungle in Hawaii. They'd use machetes to make trail and every 40 minutes would stop to listen to and record all the birdsong they heard, see them if possible. Amazing.

He just got back from a tramp in the U.K., sent me pix of jackdaws. If we get palsy (PAL-sy, not PAUL-sy--though at this age who knows? har har) at some point, I have a nickname ready: Bird Nerd.

I turned another year over yesterday and this one rattles me a bit. Motivation to get my head out of my heinie and act more like y'all: Get Stuff Done!

hugs
Hops

[Meh]

Happy Birthday.

[lighter]

Happy birthday, ((Hopsy.))

I really enjoy your birder friend stories, Hops!!  Such fun to tramp through Hawaii jungles, making trails with machetes, recording birds!  Heaven....in nature.....good for the soul, IME.

Amber, why's Holly on strike?

What's B's surgery date?

Good'on'ya for getting the mudroom (almost) done.  Enjoy hanging the art.  My sister and I just hung a gallery wall of interesting pieces in the downstairs master bedroom.  SO good.  Love that kind of work!!!

Lighter

[sKePTiKal]

Happy 39 Hops!!  hee hee

Hol is in the transition from having a committed relationship (no official permissions) with C - to realizing his pattern in the relationship is pretty set in stone - and toxic. She is intellectually exploring the possibility of being alone and still having a full and interesting life. A LOT of energy going into that pondering. She is ALMOST able to take back her power and decide to do what's best for her - relationship be damned. But she got some mowing done yesterday - as well as refining some earthmoving projects & filling potholes. There's still a few other outdoor jobs, but she might need me on the bobcat while she's in the backhoe. She is planting more garden this year and working on her landscaping situation.

B's surgery is May 22. We have to get some preliminary tests done next week for that. And he has a pump fill on Tuesday. Wave to him around noon today Hops, as he makes the long run up 81. He'll be here this afternoon sometime. There is this quiet thrill of excitement at the prospect of being able to hug him again... he's doing pretty good and we're settling comfortably into the shared experience with only a few awkward corners... sharp edges. But then we've been at this for years now - and started from the (mostly) friend zone with the recognition we both needed some assistance and the other had those skills. The affection has grown organically over time. We make each other laugh. Just being ourselves. That just rubs salt in Hol's wounds.

I'm making a decided effort on finishing my moving in purge. I STILL have piles of Michael accumulated stuff. I may not need to buy food saver bags or aluminum foil for the rest of my life!! Oh - and battery storage boxes. Some the batteries I cleaned out of the console were 10+ years old. Some corroded; some just dead. I understand why he wanted a stock of them but I no longer need that many. Some prep inventory, yes. But it shouldn't take up huge amounts of space, IMO. I shouldn't have to wonder where "that" is when I need it.

My eyes have mostly settled down now. I very seldon notice floaters anymore. Still some light sensitivity that brings them on. Sunglasses are my friend. But bright LED lights are also hard.

I think this B trip is going to be a little short; he has a VA appt in June - if they don't cancel it again. And I think he's close to finishing up in SC. Which would suit me fine. We could plan to do some more fun things.