Bird Nerd sounds nice! Nothin' wrong with friend-zone, s-l-o-w, and still being who you are.
The older we get - the more baggage we drag around into any kind of relationship. Takes a while to sort/purge/try something else and maybe trust A LITTLE in any new situation.
B came here the first time in 2019. Then, it was a year or so before he came back. And he's only just now sorted his head out enough to let his hair really hang down with me. Pain required he compartmentalize so much, so completely... he couldn't feel anything real or deeply. Been there, done that myself for other reasons. So it's just reminding him, being patient, let him make his own exploration, decisions, etc about it.
Of course, that required me keeping enough independence and confidence in my self - apart - until he got all the way through his process. And it doesn't hurt to keep that little flame alive anyway. We're going to need it as we prop each other up, hobbling along the way we do. Equals - is our main objective.
