The Lake House

[lighter]

Contractor running plumbing in bathroom today.  I'm having a rough time choosing LVP flooring.  There's a large curve in floor....it won't be easy to finish that edge.

There's popping in bedroom hall subfloor...sounds oddly like footsteps on roof.  Yikes. Not sure when that started.

Shower tile is white marble looking porcelain 4x12 subway tiles.  Shower flooring is gray and white marble pattern, very nice.


Lighter

 

[Meh]

Cool, so productive.

[sKePTiKal]

I really like the gray & white bathroom color scheme. (Mine has 3 shades of wood also). Lets you change up the feeling in the room with curtains, rugs, art & towels. Easily and economically. And it's soothing & spa-like without committing to this year's shade of turquoise or coral.... which will be old in a few years.

If it's too hot and I'm too lazy today, I might touch up paint on doors and finally paint that god-forsaken toe kick situation in the kitchen !!!!!!!!!!!!!!   :Big wide eyes of absurdity:

[lighter]

I understand the toe kick situation, Amber.  When I'm relaxed I SEE details....splashes on cupboard doors, toe kicks, scuffs on stair risers....walls, trim.  That you notice these things is a positive, ime.

I picked up meh LVP flooring for LR and bedroom/bath renovation.  Have to drive it 2 hours from Atlanta in 5:00 traffic after dd18 appt with nutrition gal. I could never live here again, but I'm not sure where I really do want to live.

Lighter

[lighter]

Lighting for bath renovation came from a 25.00 box of shiny chrome fixtures carelessly thrown together and purchased from the ReStore.

Two 2 light wall scones and 3 24" Ralph Lauren Picture lights dropped in the garage during the winter storm I had to drive through.  I never looked at the lights till yesterday.

They're beautiful, have never been installed and the picture lights retail for $1,099.00 each.  I assume they came from whatever lighting store dumped samples going on the Restore as I picked up the kitchen cabinets.  I took many lights, but this mangled up box was the buy of the day.

Last night I was on the porch watching the sky crackling and lit up almost constantly with thunder and lightening.  DD18 doesn't like storms, so huddled under a blanket inside.  When the actual atom finally reached us, a gentle rain hit first, then the wind then big rain turning into hail....I expected frogs to fall next.  It was really strange.

DD20 called and asked us to come home.  She said she's "tired of eating Ramen."  I hope this means she wants to eat better.  I think it does, bc normally she won't eat anything I cook...it looks like ODD around food with me.

I'm gonna drop expectation and let DD20 lead.  I know she and the pug miss us.

Lighter

[lighter]

I'm returning most of the LVP, which was for the great room sandwiched between oak hardwoods, brick pavers and huge mostly warm gray stone fireplace.  What a puzzle that is.  Nothing looks right, so I'm considering going back in with carpet.  No one views carpet as ideal, btw.

At 3.25 installed, which includes tear out and carry away of old carpet, it seems like a no brainer.....but it's carpet.  Never clean. 

::looking at carpet samples in room::

I think I'll need the more expensive, many colored carpet, if carpet is to be the choice.

As I go through the motions of moving the samples around.....I get dog owe wafting into my super sensitive nose, along with enzymatic pet stink cleaner....smelks like pousin to me.  And it's upsetting, but I'm no longer reactive around it.  That's nice.

Lighter

[lighter]

Bathroom on final day of tiling.  Contractor upped his tiling labor price $500.00 so I added tile around the toilet area walls....about 40" high with bullnose.  It's pretty close to my idea of perfection.  All that white tile, 8' high in the shower on what's got to be a 10.5 foot high wall.  It wraps around the vanity wall on one side and the toilet on the other....ends into door frame.

The med cabinet is beveled mirror, super well made and heavy from The Re-Store...$60.00.  Cabinet is white with mirror inset in doors....black granite top.

Final selections will be paint and glass shower door.  I wish we could do a stationary panel with open area into shower....sans a door, but I don't think the math works on that.

Any opinions on hinged door vs sliders?  I really hate cleaning sliders.

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

It sounds amazing, Lighter, is there still a lot to do on the whole house or is other stuff done already? Personally I would always go with what's easiest to clean, especially if it might end up being used as a rental  xx

[lighter]

Bathroom painted and grouted today.  Looks more like marble...looks more expensive and decadent than it is, for sure.  Tile wraps vanity wall and around toilet. 

There's a niche for coffee and phone by toilet, new science over toilet with separate switch and outlet for electronics. 

We moved a light fixture on other side if wall to solve door swing problem....was easy bc wall was opened on bathroom side.

I feel like that bed with private bath will be super spot on....buttoned up with economy if expense, in best possible way. 

Once flooring selected and on site contractor can put in door, vanity and toilet.
Can order shower door now. Woo hoo!

Think Restoration Hardware.  So pretty!
Lighter

[lighter]

Since LVP not yet handled, brother on that, we're going ahead with tear out of all upstairs carpet....3 bedrooms, huge walk in closet and large LR.  Contractor hauling our dump trailer to dump, so will fill it with everything waiting to go.

Will be breath of fresh air to have icky carpet, with all its stains, smell and dust removed.

I feel the need for rituals around sealing and putting to rest everything'done seeped into the subfloor.  My Southern accent kicks in when I'm around the contractor; )

Pressure switch for well bro,g replaced tomorrow. 

I feel like dancing in the sunlight.  Again.

Lighter

[lighter]

We're back at the lake house.  DD18 wants to go back home tomorrow and I'd love to accomodate her.

If I can get enough done, we'll go. 

The contractor will open up a doorway in the laundry room INTO the master closet, taking out the wall between closet and the office so it becomes it's own bed and bathroom with private entrance. 

A wall has to be built in the master bedroom to close off the new toilet room and wetroom with what I hope will be a freestanding tub, shower an small vanity.  I hope to put a 72" granite top vanity in the entrance, the old master closet, along with a petite closet for guests.  I can do that if I replace the K bed with a Q.  That room has a big window with lake view too.  I'm trying to move as few doorways and walls possible, but still get a great space.  Just when I thinkI have it figure out..... there's something else to figure out.  Things come up the whole way through and I enjoy problem solving, truth be told. DD18 hates everythin about it and doesn't want to hear about it.

The large wet bar in the master will come out and we'll put in a 6.5 wide built in closet in that space. 

The new bathroom will have a big window and view of the lake where the tub goes.  I'm pretty excited about it.  Contract signed, everything on GO.

Tomorrow the Contratractor will stop by and change out the ceiling fan in the bedroom we just finished.  I can put it all together an move in, so work can begin in the master.  Vrey exciting.

Lighter

[lighter]

OK.

I just finished pushing on a big sturdy doorjamb...... till the top of my head feels like it might dent up. 


GRRRRRRRR.....I could leave this post under Mindfulness thread or Lake thread or...... start a no good deed goes unpunished thread.

And it had to GO this way, bc THIS lesson is mine tillI learn it, process it and file it away somewhere deep inside.

The yard guys..... really a handy man who works for a yard guy..... along with his friend.  HARD ASS WORKERS, to be sure.....
every step had miscommunications.  Disaster  of communication. 

When workers fail to bring their own water...... it's a red flag. 

When they don't have a ballpark price.... red flag.

The entire situation is problematic, has been, but I'm really good at flying above it OR APPEARING to fly above, and sometimes I don't recognize it myself.  I DID recognize the red flags.....but so wanted the little guy with gumption to get ahead.  I would have liked to....
 To BEa part of his getting ahead.

That won't be today and I'm not upset with them. I'm upset with myself, my inability to SEE red flags and act accordingly....... bc....
acceptance. 

FFS........ my left nostril is COMPLEtely stopped up or I'd be breathing parasympathetic NS back into life......
::patting shoulders, one at a time, slowly::..

Calmer now.  I see where some of the miscommunication happened.  They wanted to do so much more than I was bargaining for..... and I said what I meant and meant what I said.

  Bee .... what? Ignored everything I said and quoted the entire job as HE envisioned it, including much much more than I asked for.  He IS planning a wedding.  I'm sure there are money issues he's trying to square away in his head, but it's a problem to ignore what I say, bc I'm apparently pretty sensitive about being ignored BY MEN.  Again.  Honestly, being ignored by anyone is a problem.  It's not men.

And that's a big fatt F issue for me. Right now.  Woof.

So, I'm clear with the guys when I ask for ONLY YARD and ROOF to be done, quoted, dealt with... NOTHING ELSE.
  I'm ignored.
  I go into SHUT IT DOWN NOW mode, without hesitation, which is interesting to me.  Once the switch is thrown, I'm all throttle.......

And I must tell you.  Part of this is what it takes to plant and grow grass.   I just don't understand buying yourself a job requiring so much water and chemicals and equipment spewing fumes, requiring maintenance.  I just don't.  Georgia is full of breathtakingly beautiful manicured lawns and planting beds.  I admire them while wondering out loud WHYsomeone would want to spend what it must take to maintain it. 

I don't understand. 

My holiday weekend has turned upside down with calls and texts about grass.  Bee said he'd cut it. Promised it wouldn't be with a push mower.  He shows up with a push mower at 5:55 am yesterday AND one string weed wacker.... WTF?  I KNEW..... that's why I asked to make sure he woiuldn't be showing up with a push mower.  My instinct was he could't DO IT. 

All heart and no equipment, so he asks his boss, the guy who owns the yard company, to bring the mower, then boss man is involved, but BEEand friend already worked SO hard to cut a small portion of grass and I just wanted them to GO AWAY.   I feel like I'm cheating them BEFORE the grass is cut.  All heart.... no equipment.

How much do I need to pay you to GO AWAY NOW?   I meant it when I said it.  Again.
 
I'm a very focused ceature at times.  I CAN focus. 

I can be overtly caretaking.  I so wanted BEE to do well. 

Bee quoting a job I never asked him to do, while the boss man was cutting grass I agreed would be cut...... my reptilian brain lost it's shit.

Not a crazy high quote, but a quote I never asked for on a job I SPECIFICALLY said I didn't want to do today, and there's poor BEE, standing out there with nothing to do, scratching chigger bites (bc he's wearing flip flops and shorts) while his friend weed eats around the trees and his boss cuts the grass.... BEE has nothing to do after he manufactured this job out of nothing, and that feels....
really......
upsetting to me. 

Pity clouding my judgment and I know better.  I do.

This is hurting the right side of my chest now. 

It's moved from my head to my chest. 

I'm shifting to self care.... will eat and count the hours of mowing.  Began at 8:30am.  It's a little after 10am.  It's gotta be 4 acres of grass?  And lots on a hill. 

I managed 5 breaths through left nostril by holding it open...... it's not the quote that's the problem.  It's not the job or the grass or the frustrating language barrier..... it's that I do this, over and over and I haven't learned the lesson.  Yet.  It's my part in this that's frustrating me, if I'm honest. 

I don't have the bandwidth to figure out how to make use of Bee NOW bc I have other things I'm focused on.  I have to let that go.

OK... I just had Bee help move a hugely heavy toilet into the house for the project he is working on.  I explained to him what happened, with him quoting a job I didn't ask about..... and he broke my heart again when he said "I'm not right in the head."
He did that right after I asked about his fiance...... what does she do, I asked? He said "nothing."  I asked about her work?  He said she does nothing again.  I said.... does she care for children?  Bc thats a job, and he said NO.  Lady of liesure?  Yes.  I'm thinking lady of liesure won't be the person to do anything in this business, so I just stared at him when he asked if I had something for her to do. 

Bee is a very simple man with a hard working heart and I can see the field now.   Lord, love a duck,  the man is holiday weekend peble.
 And I see so much potential.  I do. 

My brother deserves help with the grass.  He's taken care of it all these years.  This is a truth. 

I don't think I'm the person to deal with it, thouogh I'd like to use the zero turn mower.  My sister learned how to use one yesterday. 

You see my ambivalence there? I see it. 

Bee and I  agreed we needed to be more careful with communications goiing forward and everything's OK..... I can't do anything about a fiance who doesn't work, but I can feed myself, take my supplements and get on with my stuff.

Bee is very earnest.  Like myself.  I'm overtly sympathetic.  I see that now.

In this moment, I know everything will be OK. 
Lighter

[CB123]

Lighter,

One of the best descriptions of codependence I've ever read.

Isnt it incredible how we can see ourselves doing it, and we do it anyway?

CB

[Twoapenny]

Aw, Lighter.  I tend to have a 'it'll be fine, I'll deal with it' attitude to most things.  It's an Achilles heel, for sure.  I noticed it in myself today.  The headphones I bought only work in one ear.  That's fine, I thought, I can hear it fine, maybe it's me doing something wrong.  And then I thought, no - I'm going to ring the shop tomorrow, ask them if I need to do something to make the other side work and if not, ask them to replace them.  I don't know why we're sometimes hard wired to just go 'okay' - and then watch the situation get worse.  I'm glad you spoke with him and got some clarity of the situation.  And I hope that you're feeling calmer again soon xx

[lighter]

Thanks, Tupp:

I already feel calmer just watching the yard guys drive off. 

None of the grass on the bank was mowed...... they mowed only around the house, which is a lot, BUT...... I thought they'd mow everything.  So many disconnects and misunderstandings.  I completely understand why I've kept my head down and mostly refrained from having relationships for so long. 

I know there are worthwhile relatioships.  I wonder what, at this point in my life, I'd consider bottom line worthwhile. 

It will be good when you have working headphones, Tupp.  I want to hear how they work out; )

Lighter