Disengagement, not resolution.
That's everything, isn't it? I think, maybe, it is.
I'm sorry your mother is spiralling, and lashing out. Calling the police was a way to get your attention, and you realize you don't have to keep giving her that attention. You have choice, Meh.
I picture you building new rituals, in the spaces your mother takes up.
Morning rituals around whatever brings you joy.....be it tea, stretching, listening to the morning chorus of birds ....feeding birds ...bathroom rituals, skincare, etc.
Congrats on the new job, and intention to let go, instead of resolve.
You remind me to find a new place for my poem, which I'm moved to share, here, every so often.
Without a word, she let go.
She let go of fear.
She let go of judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of the 'right' reasons.
Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn't ask anyone for advice.
She didn't read a book on how to let go.
She let go.
She let go of all the memories that held her back.
She let go of all the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn't promise to let go.
She didn't journal about it.
She didn't write the projected date in her day-timer.
She made no public announcement.
She didn't check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn't analyze whether she should let go.
She didn't call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn't utter one word.
She just let go.
No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort. There was no struggle.
It wasn't good. It wasn't bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.
Here's to giving ourselves the gift of letting go.....
There's only one guru ~ you.
I love that poem.....and notice how little time, I have, for other people's nonsense. L as and less. It does feel like letting go.
I also notice the choices in every moment ...for instance....focus on the intense heat and approaching heat stroke, while watering trees
OR focus on the relief of icy well water over my head, the sound of the birds and relief of the breeze. It sometimes feels like a magic act, I've learned to perform.
Lighter
