Today I have a pre-phone appointment to talk to a therapist who specializes in narcissism.
They want to know what my goals are I think.
- I know working on awareness about personal agency is one of them
- I know that I want to be more aware about the things I can do to be like "higher-functioning" whatever that means
- I know like larger goals are quality of life though I feel I can only work on small goals right now
- I have social anxiety which I am ashamed of
- Sometimes I get stuck and I don't make decisions fast enough and it because a self-sabotage maybe
- Life kind of demands constant pivots and big decisions and I just feel like I can only manage small things
- I do not know if I am being REAL in life or if I am sticking a lot of energy into being fake -- and maybe I just feel this way because last job was high-customer contact and one IS EXPECTED to put on a shell-face.
- Oh the GAD
- The possible ADD
- The big bugaboo -- the covert N has never been diagnosed with Covert N -- I am the only witness in the family -- brother dead and nobody else cares -- The Covert N is basically now starving themselves to death. I have been shoving plates of food into their gross claw hands without making eye contact or saying anything -- they are so pathetic.
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???
What are your opinions? -- What should I talk to the therapist about.
- my rumination....
- my negativity? -- criticism --
I don't know honestly I think the big things for me are -- agency and learning how to build a 3-D group of friends and support etc.
