Congratulations, Meh. I think you've taken a very important step. (I wrote you a big post but couldn't post it.)
I remember. You'd asked what to focus on and I had a bunch of suggestions: yes to negativity volume, depression, and sharing just how much research and reading you've done as you focused on Nism. One thing I resisted most with a previous (excellent) T was when I'd go and THIS is N right and THIS is N right?
He would kind of "bat" the N label aside as helpful but not important which often freaked me out a little, and guide me into examining my own pain, disappointment and damage or reflexes that resulted from my mother (and others) having that personality disorder. But the reason MY butt was in the chair was really to examine myself and different things I could choose or try in order to heal from the pain of it all.
I feel so hopeful for you. You deserve to give therapy a chance to help.
There's almost nothing in my life I'm more grateful than the chances to heal myself that therapy helped me discover. (And about the temptation to spend the first year picking apart everything the T said, forgot to say, or said because they weren't perfectly insightful or had a tone-deaf moment. Been there, done that and got the Tshirt.)
hugs
Hops
