What would you think about this comment?

[Anonymous]

Hi OR:

I'm glad to hear that you are trying to focus on the good things in your life and that your life is getting better in so many ways!!  Yay!!!

As to all these ding dong emails, I agree with what's being said....that he is digging his own grave.  Keep them all as evidence.

One way to fight the urge to let his ridiculous emails cause you harm might be to try really hard to build up a sort of wall.....kinda of as Bunny described on another thread.......your brain could just go lalee la la la lo when you read the words or try to see him as a cooky man saying cooky things.  I know that's hard to do but it is better than letting his words hurt you, over and over.  It is sad to see his illness in black and white.  God bless you for your compassion.

Now.....if he's going to be phoning......what do you plan to do if he starts trying to have conversations with you?

GFN

[OR]

Long, Patz and GFN.

Today my H told me to expect the divorce papers any day. I can just imagine how he has spun his tale of lies.

I would imagine the judge would not want to hear all the BS. it's either you want a divorce or not.

It may be mediation to work out visitation were things will get muddy.

Once I read over the papers I will be more clear. He tells me the papers are being mailed here. He mailed my D some Hunigton beach T's, and a roxy jacket.
wonder how the story "he CAN"T reach us, therfore I have kidnapped her"
will be viewed.

I have no desire to speak to my H. When I heard his voice, I was quick to hand my D  the phone.

I'm really sad that things are this way. I will do what is needed to protect us. I have his e-mails and a medical evaluation I'm willing to use when it comes time. I fell so sad that life has delt these cards for both our lifes.

I have no desire to bring my H into my life, but when you have a child you do the best for all involved. I have become numb to some of his remarks, I know he has big problems, not easily fixed.

I can either choose to fire back with comments how awlful he his to me.
or understand nothing will change, be calm, let it just happen.
Have faith this is the road I must take, for now.

My D needs to call her friend for youth group tonight.  

 will be back    OR

[Anonymous]

Hi there OR:

I fell so sad that life has delt these cards for both our lifes.

This is a sad time and you are both dealing with losses.  I wonder if it might be possible for both of you to get some support, possibly through a women's shelter?  It might help to have someone outside of the family to speak with?

Personally, because your husband has made threats and seems so unstable, I'd be seriously seeking supervised visitation.   I imagine visits will be infrequent because he is so far away, which is probably a good thing too.

This is not a matter of keeping a child away from her father, it's a matter of keeping that child safe while she visits with her father.

Considering all you've been through, you are holding up very well!!
How's the job going?  Do you like it?  Do you like the people you work with?  Are you enjoying the work?

GFN

[Anonymous]

OR:

Prehaps you should take GFN's advice since N has made threats.  As always the more people you can make contact with, the safer you might be.

Again, hope things are going well with the job and your D is adapting to the new environment.  Just know that I keep you in my prayers.

Love Patz

[Anonymous]

OR,
It seems like the main concern, if he ever comes to visit, is that you take precautions to prevent him from just taking off with her.
All those cracks about you kidnapping her may very well be projection on his part. Especially if he has some crackpot scheme of keeping her SSI because she's with him. Take care.

mudpup

[OR]

GFN, PATZ, Mud, You all are so wonderful to give your time.

I'm doing great. My D is doing great. We finished another week in the big D, with each day having so many blessings. My D and I went walking the neighborhood meeting the neighbors. My D wants to babysit, one of the neighbors daughter just moved here, she is in the minestry with her church and is looking for someone to babysit for a few hours.

We went to the 1.50 movies tonight, we had a great time. Getting out together after the work week, felt great.

My H has been rather quiet. I noticed he blocked me from his chat room.
When the divorce papers are here and signed I won't care. I'm looking forward to letting go of the past and moving forward.

I like my job, and the people. I love where I live its, in a place called Plano TX. It is very nice and the people are great.

My D has a theater class, they are doing skits on divorce. She appears to have friends to speak about the effects of divorce. I know at times she is sad, but most of the time she talks about ways to keep busy, she eats good, she is doing well in school and making lots of friends.

Thanks so much for your thoughts. I see you all have lots of others to keep you busy on this board. So glad to have you all here. My days are getting brighter everyday. (this new keyboard and computer table really helps with the typing)  OR

[Brigid]

OR,
I'm so glad to hear all the good news.  You certainly deserve it.  I don't have any more helpful advice over and above what has already been offered, but I wanted you to know I was thinking of you and keeping you and your daughter in my prayers.

Brigid

[OR]

Thanks Brigid, for your kind thoughts.

I managed to bring some of my art books and paints, even my air compressor. Maybe sometime I will have the efforts to get to my painting again.  It is difficult to find the energy when Im working.

Thanks again and for now Im saving my efforts to close this chapter in my 26yr marriage. I have people asking when my H will be joining me here in Dallas. I have broken the Ice telling them It looks like he will be staying in Ca. At times while Im busy with work I find myself tearing, but always hold back. I have not yet had the Idea that crying would help me at this point. Maybe after I sign the Divorce papers it will be happy tears.

OR

[Anonymous]

OR:

Sounds so very wonderful!  I am glad you and your D are enjoying D.  It is a very nice place.  I am aquainted with Plano inasmuch as I was brought up in the Ark-LA-Tex area.  You will enjoy it there and it is a growing area.   The schools in that area are pretty good as well.

Glad to see that your D has hooked up with a drama class.  She might be able to work out any issues with the divorce through that class.  

It is hard not thinking about the last 26 years but hey life goes on.  N is in CA and your in D starting a new life.  There is no telling what the Lord has in store for you and your D as you make this 180 degree turn in your life.

Just post when you can and keep us updated.  Your progress is tremendous encouragement to others who are also at the crossroads.  I am just glad you are where you are.  Much love

Patz

[OR]

The Divorce papers are here. Now the battle begins.

I have 30 days from the 6th to respond to the CA courts.
He expects me to have her back in CA before the 30th of this month.
Im to pay for it all.

Will be reading and talking with legal aid on what I can do.

[mudpuppy]

Lots of prayers being sent heavenward for you and your daughter.

Hope he's got Mark Geragos for his attorney. (Scott Peterson's and Winona Ryder's lawyer.) He'd be perfect. He'd bleed your husband dry and lose.

If good thoughts and prayers matter you've got nothing to worry about.

mudpup

[Anonymous]

Hi OR:

My prayers for you both too.

(((((((OR))))))

GFN

[OR]

I have total faith, things will be ok.

This is total N to have no regard for anyone but himself. He had talked to my D yesterday, never saying he would demand her to come back in 2 weeks.

For reasons to desolve the marriage, one option says "unsound mind."
I plan on using that one.

I have this medical report stating he has abnormal findings, along with the N-findings, I don't know if it would be enough to hold off on putting my D in the hands of my H. This is only his request.

I will be saying alot of prayers too. If the courts blow off his e-mails, threats, and medical evaluation, then I have nothing. We will see what happens. I have talked to a legal aid in CA, they want the leagal aid here in Plano to work with me on the best way to proceed.

I have not explained anything about my H's mental condition. Not sure how it would be preceived until I can speak with someone in person.

When I was in CA and tried to explain the medical evaluation I got the cold shoulder. I was told they didn't really have the understanding and the Judge would have to look into the matter. I don't expect much from anyone at this point, but will see if I can get someone to listen.

I'm going to try and get some sleep. OR

[longtire]

OR, sleep well.  Keep taking care of yourself and your daughter.  I am praying for you both.  Stay strong as you are and expect the people you meet to help you.  It will happen.

(((((((OR)))))))

[bludie]

...since I posted. But onlyrenting1, I just gotta' say that I've scanned this thread from late March until the last post. As one of your fans, here on this forum, I wanted to let you know HOW MUCH YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED and how far you have come since first posting on this forum.  I am DELIGHTED to hear you and your daughter are doing so well. You are in the home stretch insofar as legally cutting yourself off from your soon-to-be-ex-N-husband. Hang in there, keep seeking good legal advice, don't waiver and don't co-sign his bu**sh** by internalizing his threats. Bravo for freeing yourself and your daughter from what I have come to believe is one of humanity's worst afflictions: narcissism.

Best,

bludie