daily affirmations

[jondo]

Has anyone ever practiced daily affirmations?  Most children of Ns suffer from very low self-esteem.  I used to be my own worst critic with constant voices to my self such as - fat, useless, stupid, can't do anything right etc.  Essentially, the same things my parents said about me my entire childhood.  I was just carrying on their work. This resulted in being nervous all the time and incapable of even simple tasks - especially with other people watching/expecting.  I would just defeat myself in my own mind.  Somebody pointed this out to me and only then did I realize that I was so self-critical.  A person has to become aware of that inner-voice and change it to a positive one.  It's really a powerful thing.  Whether it's "I like myself" or "I'm a good person" or "People like me" etc.  I would encourage others to try this.  The change comes from within and it's almost miraculous.  All the Best

[Naomi]

Has anyone ever noticed that they have forgotten how to laugh? I mean, those really hearty belly laughs, the kind that would hurt your tummy....yet they felt so good, the chemicals from that joy would course through your entire body and psychologically lift you....

Well, there have been times in my life where I could manage to laugh out loud, and for some reason, I feel like the longer I live, the harder it is to laugh like that, maybe I was better able to cope somehow in my earlier years? But that can't be, because I know I am healing now, and am healed more now than I've ever been before. So where has my laughter gone? How can I bring that out in myself, where laughter comes so easily to me, and things used to be funnier than they are now...I don't know if anyone knows what I am trying to say...

How can it be, that the more whole I become, dealing with my traumas, the less I am able to laugh? Is it because I am getting older now...or pre-menopausal?

There is this young man, he comes over to play video games with my son, several times a week. He has ADD, (attention deficit disorder) and he is on Ritalin. This boy simply cannot stop himself from laughing. He laughs so loud, this high shrill, and it rolls out of him so easily, yet he is the extreme and cannot stop himself from this hysterical laughter. You tell him over and over, to keep it down, because it really gets annoying and gives you a headache after hearing this for a few hours.

Yet, part of me wonders how I can be a little more like him, and find my laugh.

[Naomi]

I was just talking to Phillip. He answered my question very easily, and it makes so much sense to me! He said, "It is because the more you are healing, the closer to your pain you are becoming"....which to me say it all. Thank you Phillip. )He answered me somewhere else...)

It means to me, that I am getting intouch with my own pain, and understanding it more. Maybe that didn't quite come out right, but to me it is the exact answer I have been searching for, and makes perfect sense.

[mum]

Jondo:  actually, we all have been saying things to ourselves about ourselves our whole lives.  Affirmations are a way of feeding yourself good stuff (instead?).  If we are lucky we get a lot of that self talk training as children, and then we form our own self talk through life experience.  

If we are told, or tell ourselves, that we are bad, etc, then our core beliefs about ourselves and life become what we "hear" and end up believing....then we attract negativity and a downward spiral begins. Conversely, positive, affirmative self talk would have us feeling wonderful and attracting wonderful things in our lives!  It all makes perfect sense to me.  
 
Unfortunately, I think we are trained in the Western world, to cast suspicion on anything we can't quantify.  People, in general, (perhaps from religious training, think "original sin") have a hard time accepting that they are pure and deserving of their dreams in life, so this gets passed off as hooey.
Whatever. (like I tell my students: if it works for you, use it....)
 
I remember hearing about some champion poker player (ok, I can't relate to the poker part) who said he has a little note on his bathroom mirror that says "good things happen to me".  And they do.
My father was a true example of this type of positive imaging...it was manifested in his life and is our legacy as his children.  I feel blessed to have known him and perhaps that is why my "dark" times were not so dark.

I have many positive things I tell myself everyday.  Some are very specific to me, but I am truly convinced it is a huge part of changing my life for the better.
Through my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, I create my life.  
Isn't it cool?  This life is so interesting!

[Naomi]

Dear Mum...

I just wanted you to know how much I thoroughly enjoy reading your posts. You are a very nurturing, positive person, and I just wanted to thank you.

[Naomi]

Direction
"The great thing in the world
is not so much where we stand
as in what direction we are moving."
Oliver Wendell Holmes


HOPE

Hope lies in dreams in one's imagination
and in the courage of those who dare
to make dreams into reality.

     - Jonas Salk

[mum]

Naomi:  that Phillip is a wise friend, huh?
I am a teacher and I am blessed to be around kids all day.  Yeah, they drive me nuts a lot of the time, but they can be damn funny quite a lot.  They laugh over the stupidest stuff that sometimes I give in and go along for the ride.  
When I was in some pretty angry times last year, I couldn't find much joy in my job.  Teaching is pretty thankless in a lot of ways and when my focus was on how everything was going wrong, things went "wronger"!
Since I have pulled myself up (with much help) I still see that I have an exhausting job, but I tell myself (affirmations, see?) "I have fun at work".....and I do.  I tell the kids it's part of my teaching contract that I get to have a good time too.
Now when a kids shows me his "asthma" (rash on his arm) I can laugh a little (and then send him to the nurse cause it really looks like ringworm!)
ADD kids can really take a lot of energy, so I understand that one(especially when they are in your personal space).
As dumb as this sounds, it helped me last year to FIND humorous situations: the Comedy channel on TV, Dave Barry or David Sedaris books, anything  to get you to forget your problems and laugh.
Or become a teacher...the paychecks alone are hilarious!

[Mum]

thanks, Naomi: would you believe one of my dearest friends and mentors shares your name?  She is a remarkable spirit.  You seem to be also.

[phillip]

MUM- According to Toltec tradition, we are always dreaming, even while awake.  Much of our waking dreams are the dreams of others as to who we are.  Now it is time for us to create our own dreams and discard what does NOT work for us.  A healthy perspective methinks.  

When I was a volunteer for an EST type seminar group, the first question we were encouraged to present to our small groups was,"What do you want?"  It was always surprising how much difficulty people had with that question.

I absolutely agree with you.  When you clear away all the noise, mental and emotional, all that is left is a very pragmatic question, "Does it work for me, yes or no?" Peace.

[mum]

Phillip:  I am, on and off,  working my way through "Beyond Fear" based on the teachings of Don Miguel Ruiz.  I say on and off because I usually have about 5 books going at once (talk about ADD).
It's funny, how almost everything I have read in the past year (and some from way before) and the energy work I am doing right now all share a universal thread: hard to identify it in a few words, but perhaps personal choice/power would be it (or maybe that's it for me because that's what I am working on right now.)  Even more basic is the underlying concept of oneness and love.  If I try too hard to explain in words (I am much more right brain) I get frustrated.  If I just feel what that means, I am content.
There are SO many teachers and so many stories and so many paths.  It's overwhelming and perfect at the same time.

[bunny]

When I was super codependent and relationship-addicted, I was so desperate that I started using affirmations. I actually hated the idea of saying positive things that I didn't believe at all. It felt corny. But I taped some around my bed. They definitely changed my attitude. I was told that affirmations only work when stated in the present tense or else the mind will ignore the suggestion. It was even harder to say, "I am now attracting positive XYZ" when I felt that I was attracting no such thing but I must say that it worked.

bunny

[phillip]

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now."


                                                                                  GOETHE

[mum]

Bunny:  that's my understanding also, that present tense is what matters(to the subconsious mind...That reminds me of the mouse/manager in the film "Dumbo").  When was that film made?  1960's?  The "magic feather" and all.
When my son takes the car, I am careful to say: "BE careful" instead of "don't do anything stupid".....I read somewhere that the "don't" doesn't register, but the rest of the sentence does!  
My son uses a technique I have heard called "futurevisioning" when he auditions (musician).  He sees and feels (in present tense feeling) doing well, placing a picture of that in his head so one of him choking has no footing...and he told me it works for him. A different type of affirmation (not exactly words), but one nonetheless.
I wonder if we would ever hear of someone for whom affirmations didn't work?  Would they say something like:  "that's a bunch of crap, those things don't work!"  Wouldn't that be exactly the same thing? (they get what they believe).

[mum]

Phillip: great quote from Goethe.  So Wayne Dyer has Goethe to thank?

[Anonymous]

I haven't heard that affirmations must be in the present tense (so it's true...ignorance is bliss!).

I have used affirmations and positive suggestions in all kinds of tenses and found them to be very effective.

Future tense, as in "I will....." most certainly worked.

Once, I had a very important exam to write.  I did not study.  Instead, I spent hours affirming and making positive suggestions to myself.  I did exceptionally well on that exam, better than any other I had ever written.  I'm no wizzard and I really didn't have a great mark to begin with but that exam upped it quite some bit.

My understanding is that imagining oneself actually doing the goal, or being successful, greatly enhances the chances of achieving the objective.   So if one envisions oneself actually as one wishes to be, while making positive statements, or affirmations, one has a much better chance of getting there.

What's the worst thing that could happen?

GFN