Thanks, G--
I told my T during our video session today that I have a secret stash of an opiod, from prior back pain treatment and a gallon of bourbon, and that this would be my eventual choice if I got a VERY BAD CASE of the virus. (IOW, given the options, would get me in hospital and pretty clearly onto a ventilator, which I would refuse.)
Her reply was: "I completely support that hypothetical, ethically." I trust her. And I made clear to her that it was not a PLAN but a hypothetical that made me feel more balanced. She got it and was fine with it. That felt good.
Then we did a funny thing that the video session enabled: I took her on a video tour of my clutter! Room by room. Her reaction was that she found my house warm and beautiful, and that all the clutter/paperwork etc. she saw looked entirely doable. That was a revelation. In eight years with my sweet previous T, he never got to SEE what I kept talking about. She saw it, wasn't deterred, and I feel much more optimistic that we will make headway because she she saw it. One more odd silver lining from the self-isolation period.
So keep your chin up G...hope you'll find some folks you can Zoom or FaceTime with soon.
Hugs
Hops