most narcissistic comments ever

[mum]

Gwyn: your post was so interesting...such great observations on how things work!  So wise....
Could you figure out my ex, please?  Actually I had a close friend pin point this today: "it's been about 6 months since your ex got to "fight" with you over anything...he loves it, it keeps you in his emotional life, so he is taking you back to court because he needs his fix of you...he can't let go of you."  
Wow..maybe...that and he's a cheap lying bastard.

[mum]

oooh, I just thought of another N comment: "you're seeing someone aren't you, otherwise, why would you want to divorce me?" said the admitted adulterer to his now open eyed and soon to be ex wife.

[catlover]

Thanks Mum!  Good luck with the big b!

[Anonymous]

Try this one on for size. After destroying my relationship with most of my family over the last few years, with false accusations of various crimes, my evil nature and insanity, he sends me a proposal on how to end our conflict. First I accept his lopsided, unfair proposal on how to split the property and then he says "I will assist your reconciliation with the family."
What a complete and profound ass!

mudpup

[sleepyhead]

Picture the scene: Me and my xN lie in bed, his head on my chest. I tell him how earler that night, when we were out, I felt this overwhelming wave of love for him. His reply?
-I can see up your nose.

For the rest of our relationship, 95% of the times that I told him that I loved him he would reply:- I know. (more often than not in a slightly irritated voice.

[mum]

Oooooh, Sleepyhead, I had to laugh/and say Ewww regarding your ex.  Now you can do a little dance and laugh too, as EX is a very big little word!

[Anonymous]

Sleepyhead,

-I can see up your nose.

That's the funniest one yet!     (I'm sure it wasn't funny to you at the time)
He probably expected you to thank him for this revelation.
How will this thread ever end? Each one of us could fill a book.

mudpup

[Anonymous]

Mud:

I usually go to church on Sunday.  Well my n brother normally calls on Sunday.  He becomes annoyed if I am not there to talk to him on Sunday mornings.  We live long distance on the phone.  Well at any rate, he jokingly stated 'Why don't you become a 7th Day Adventist".  I told him I would suggest to our Pastor we move Sunday's to Saturday to accomodate him.  Patz

[Anonymous]

Patz,
Well after all I'm sure your brother assumes you're all in church worshipping him on Sunday anyway, so WHY NOT do it on Saturday so its more convenient for Him?

mud

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry Sleepyhead.  This one really did make me laugh out loud!

I can see up your nose.

Too funny!  I can see through his head!!  What a canine jerk!!!

And this.....

I will assist your reconciliation with the family.

Mudpuppy, how???  Put in a good word for you???  Wouldn't that be toooooo generous of him??  I can't stop giggling!    

I told him I would suggest to our Pastor we move Sunday's to Saturday to accomodate him. Patz

Wonder what the Pastor would say? (heeheehee)

GFN

[Anonymous]

GFN,
Once again you nailed it.
I wrote  what my bro said,

Quote:
I will assist your reconciliation with the family.

You wrote,

Mudpuppy, how??? Put in a good word for you??? Wouldn't that be toooooo generous of him?? I can't stop giggling!  

Absolutely, if I knuckled under and made my kow tow, he would put in a good word for me. He can turn on a dime. But until you said that I didn't recognize the tacit admission contained in his quote. If I'm such a fiend how could he talk me back into the family unless he talked me out in the first place. Thanks for again seeing what I didn't.

mud

[miaxo]

From X N during our marriage:

"No man in this neighborhood can compare to me.  My career requires so much dedication and responsibility that not one of these guys could handle a day of it."    He was a VP for a real estate developer.
Mind you, we didn't live in an area full of dead beats.  Our neighbor next door was a fighter pilot (now is a commerical pilot) and many of the other men owned and operated their own businesses but X N was more important and more unique than all of them combined.

Last year during a phone conversation when X N was trying to "charm me" into a reduction of child support N asked me at one point,"When is the last time you complimented me on providing so well for our family?"  Hello, Mr. N I guess you can't recall that you destroyed our family and I am now remarried to a wonderful man who provides more for your children than you ever did.  To put it mildy, my husband didn't appreciate this comment at all after I told him about it.  As a matter of fact we were both livid.

There are so many more examples but like someone else wrote I repressed many of them in order to cope.

[miaxo]

During our divorce x N told me he decided to attend therapy to address his anger managment issues.  I reassured him he was doing the right thing. About three weeks later as he was picking up my daughter for visitation he started making small talk and mentioned that he had "completed his therapy and that it had done a world of good for him."  I asked him, "How many sessions? and he responded "Two sessions."   I said, "Your therapist must have been a miracle worker."  He asked, "What do you mean?"

[Anonymous]

mia,
Sounds like you lost a real catch when Mr. N wriggled off your hook.
Of course its obvious now, probably comes under the label of one of those things you wished you'd said , but if he was bragging about being such a great provider it seems like he ought to have been charming you to increase the child support not decrease it. Typical N. They're so intent on making themselves look superior they don't even know what they're saying half the time.

mud

[vunil]

Some of these examples (which continue to be really funny) remind me of two different boyfriends who told me that they went to therapy once, but the therapist told them nothing was wrong with them, so they stopped.

I have always wondered what really happened.   Either they didn't ever go, or totally misinterpreted the therapist, or the therapist realized they were hopeless and didn't try.   Just the whole world view that therapy is for people with something "wrong with them" and that perfect people need not go is hilarious. As is this idea of the therapist recognizing and pronouncing this perfection.