most narcissistic comments ever

[vunil]

Totally agreed on the new age stuff-- a friend recently went through one of those EST seminars (they call it landmark now I think) and told me that I should stop thinking of my parents as narcssists because narcissism is just a label that I put on them. If I stop putting the label on them, then everything will change.  She suggested I call them and explain to them that I had put a label on them, and apologize.  And then our relationship would be healed.


Wow!  I am powerful! I can cure personality disorders with my mind!  So nice to know.

In another thread we talked about all of this stuff a bit, this general idea of being able to change everything with your mind, it's all perception, etc.   I really bought into that stuff for years, and it set me WAY back in my development.  It led me to blame myself for thinking there was something weird about my upbringing.  I kept trying to squint and see everything as ok when in fact it wasn't, and my unconscious mind knew it.  And I was affected profoundly by all of the stuff I was ignoring in the name of "having the right thought patterns."


It took me years to unlearn that B.S. and really admit that, outside of my thoughts,  there was stuff going on in my childhood that affected me.  And it wasn't my fault.  It wasn't until I confronted my parents and got the world's oddest response that my poor brain "got it."  And then I could really start healing from the real injuries, and start making the effort to actually change myself and my behavior in response.

Sorry, off topic!

[Portia]

Not off topic!

She suggested I call them and explain to them that I had put a label on them, and apologize. And then our relationship would be healed.

       I'm gobsmacked! Stunned...

[vunil]

Yes, it's worrisome, isn't it.

My friend got a lot out of the workshop, but I had no idea what she was talking about when she described it.  There is no truth, etc.   I guess if she liked it... They try to get people to sign up for lots more workshops, though, and to recruit their friends. So, it is a little scary.  


I think that it's big business (it was est, then lifespring, and now landmark, if I understand correctly).

Ah, well, different strokes for different folks. I am on a quest to figure out where my perceptions didn't see the truth, not to try to change the truth through my perceptions.

My worry about these workshops is that they may prey on people who have been injured by narcissists.  The leader is very charismatic and bossy and yells at people sometimes and it's hard to tell what in the heck he is saying.  From what I understand, dissent is not allowed (i.e., it's coded as "lack of understanding" or "resistence of the message").  

Might be another thread to start...

[Portia]

If it feels bad, run away. I agree about the preying on the vulnerable. There's a thread way back here where someone came in and tried that on, did a bit of grooming on one of the members. Didn't work!

It's called a CULT and that's what these things are. Dangerous, destructive. Brrrrr...

Popped back to edit in because now I’m worried. Okay: recruiting friends, ‘changing the truth’ (i.e. see it my way or no way), and especially

The leader is very charismatic and bossy and yells at people sometimes and it's hard to tell what in the heck he is saying. From what I understand, dissent is not allowed (i.e., it's coded as "lack of understanding" or "resistence of the message").

These are all classic hallmarks of a cult, seriously. Stay well away please V!

[vunil]

Stay well away please V!

Oh, absolutely no worries!  It doesn't appeal to me at all-- I just hope they don't suck in my friend.

I can't imagine listening to some self-appointed "master" of me go on and on about what I should do and think and how I am broken if I don't follow his wishes.  I had a whole childhood like that

[catlover]

She suggested I call them and explain to them that I had put a label on them, and apologize. And then our relationship would be healed.

  Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!  Rolling on the floor laughing hysterically!!!

I somehow ended up reading something very interesting on the web about this "landmark" thing - I think this one was called "Lifepath."  The generic term for these things is "large group awareness training".  What I read was a "study" that a sociologist and psychologist had done by participating in/observing one of the Lifepath intro weekends.  They described the many ways that people's psychological/social vulnerabilities were used against them to get them to "comply."  There were a couple of people who ended up "decompensating" - basically losing touch with reality because all their defense mechanisms had been so badly breached by the experience.  They were whisked away with no attempt to "put them back together."  Scary stuff.

[mum]

Everything can be scary: Well established organized religion can be just as frightening.  I grew up Catholic and a lot of what I heard made me run!  At least my parents also cultured the thinking for ourselves side of us as well (and to their dissapointment, very few of us actually belong to any organized religion)!  I espouse many "new age" ideas, many "old age" ideas and I am lucky enought to be able to discern and choose for myself what feels right and what doesn't.  I am sorry for those who can't do that, unfortunately, predators are in every walk of this life.  They have been masquerading as helpers for eternity.

[vunil]

Well established organized religion can be just as frightening

Amen to that!

Nothing is more N than a television preacher telling us all to send in money because then he will bless us personally.


Seems everything can be corrupted by N ideas, whether new age, old age, or whatever!  

Even the most humblest of ideas can be corrupted.  I always think it's funny when christianity becomes used for grandiosity and superiority over others-- the center of the religion was born in a stable for heaven's sake.  Talk about not getting the point.  

One of the most N people I ever met was buddhist, which is especially hilarious-- she was better at being without self and becoming one with the universe than EVERYONE ELSE!

At least narcissism is funny...

 

[mum]

Vunil: and N buddhist.....that IS funny, talk about missing the point!!

It made me think of another great N comment:
this made by my ex when I told him I thought it was important that our son learn humility :
 "Why would humility be important? I see absolutely no need for him to learn that!"

[Portia]

Vunil, sorry I panicked there for a moment.  Your description was too good and brought bad scenes to mind!

she was better at being without self and becoming one with the universe than EVERYONE ELSE

thanks for sharing this breath-taking ‘better than’.   These sort of things leave me kinda winded, in shock I guess, the capacity to be shocked by this behaviour hasn’t left me, I don’t think it will, the sheer inhumanity.

Mum I have a similar reaction to

"Why would humility be important? I see absolutely no need for him to learn that!"

there’s just no answer is there? None at all. Might as well talk to a brick wall.

I can't believe I've lived and worked amongst people like this, working hard to gain their approval and 'fit in' and all the while feeling physically ill, thinking it was my fault that I was prone to the odd fit of strange behaviour. Ha. I'm going through shock again. Oh not again! Cycle on through... P

[wildrain]

Reading these commnets helps me realize while i was listening to HIM and thinking i was losing my mind ((is he kidding,,he cant be for real..little did i know how unreal he was)
One of the ones i heard all the time. ::YOUR lucky i am having sex with you."
and when i told him i would leave the realtionship. "Who will run my errends and cook my meals and give me presents? After all that is what you are good for" Said in the most serious,matter of fact way......

[October]

My younger brother - the one who sends me self help books to stop me being negative - this morning sent me a link to a genealogy page, about our family, which just has to be written by an N.  Only bit I liked is the family motto; if broken, still strong (Si fractus fortis).  Normal stuff, came over with William the Bastard et al, etc etc, went back to Charlemagne, of course.
It lost all contact with reality at the point where Mark Anthony was mentioned, but it got worse.  Here is the last paragraph, which had me and my daughter falling about on the floor;


By using creative genealogy just a little bit, we can actually trace our ancestry back all the way. I mean all the way!
If Aeneas was indeed an historical character, and did descend from a mortal named Scamander, there may not have been many centuries separating him from the genealogical tables in the book of Genesis. The biblical character that many experts consider to be the ancestor of those who settled on the north-western coast of Anatolia was a man named Ashkenaz (Genesis 10:13), who was the son of Gomer (Gen. 10:2), who was the son of Japheth (Gen. 5:32 and 10:1), who was one of the three sons of Noah. Noah (Gen. 5:28, 29 and Luke 3:36) was the son of Lamech (Gen. 5:25 and Luke 3:36), who was the son of Methuselah (Gen. 5:21 and Luke 3:37), who was the son of Enoch (Gen. 5:18 and Luke 3:37), who was the son of Jared (Gen. 5:15 and Luke 3:37), who was the son of Mahalalel (Gen. 5:12 and Luke 3:37), who was the son of Cainan (Gen. 5:9 and Luke 3:37), who was the son of Enosh (Gen. 5:6 and Luke 3:38), who was the son of Seth (Gen. 5:3 and Luke 3:38), who was the third son of Adam (Gen. 2:7; 5:1-2, and Luke 3:38), who was created directly by God (Genesis 1:1).

[sleepyhead]

   
October, you are killing me! Or maybe I should be more respectful towards you now that I know that you descend directly from God.  And not even in the ususal "all people are created by God" sense either, but in actual bloodlines! Hmmm.... Maybe I should become religious now...What do you think?

[October]

   
October, you are killing me! Or maybe I should be more respectful towards you now that I know that you descend directly from God.  And not even in the ususal "all people are created by God" sense either, but in actual bloodlines! Hmmm.... Maybe I should become religious now...What do you think?

I'm sorry, can you trace your descent from Mark Anthony?  If not, I am not sure I should be talking to you at all.      

Funniest thing is, that this is my dad's family, so Nmum is not included!!!  She will be sooooo fed up!!!!!!!

[Portia]

Wildrain, welcome, stay with us please!

October, that's IT.  That takes the biscuit, that gets the Golden Gall Award for most incredibly N comments so far. I can't imagine any contenders at that level! Direct pure bloodline to God! Did I gasp when I read it?

*gasp* *cough* *fall off chair* *eyes roll to top of head*....*manic laughter not too far away*.. hahahahahahahahahaha! *sigh*