I have to come up with a real name here. I dont want to hijack Greta's thread even if it is related. The summer trailer thing goes back to my thread about the Nar brother but now a different one. The one that actually went with me to look at the summer trailers after crazy body builder Nar brohter got upset because I was sitting in the front seat of the car.
Greta, we can only do what we can, as good daughters, sisters, brothers, husbands, wives, friends etc. So many of us have had trouble setting these boundaries. And it is so often trial and error to find out what we can live with and what are boundaries are. ANd many of us, particularly the woman, want to please people. Unfortuantley it was how we were raised even if we were or are independent. It still seems left to us to plan the events, do the work, etc, etc. Carry the emotional load for the family.
How much time do you spend with aging parents or psychotic brothers? And at least one has a nar psycho wife. I can spend a lot of time with them if they arent shaming, blaming, taking out their anxieties on me or expecting me to do all the work. This does actuallyhappen sometiems but who knows why?
Greta, I dont know if this will help you but I had so many bad experiences at Christmas I started leaving town for CHristmas. It is also my birthday. Christmas away from everybody has had its sad moments but it has mostly been a huge relief. I go to Florida. I decided enough was enough several years ago. We actually did spend Christmas all together this year in Flroida. Probably the first time for me in 12 years or more. It had its great moments especially with the kids, but was kind of nerve wracking. I got a lot of massages and spent hours trying to get the club steam room to work. Sometimes I just laid down on its bench to center myself even when it wasnt working..hahaha!!!
Maybe it is time to create your own traditions without your mother or with limited involvement with her. Is that possible? If you have family, can you go somewhere? I hope this has helped and isnt too much about me. I would like to think I could help someone else too.
Bliz (new name)