acapella and the other n-partners

[Acappella]

If your feelings were hurt go ahead and say so if you want me to respond to that, including if you want me to apologize, for example.  Meanwhile, I’ll just address what was said.  

Yes I can be paranoid.  Also, had I imagined that Sandahl would have deleted posts in such an odd fashion and especially had I thought about a manager of a site called NPartners kicking people off like she did I would have felt paranoid for having such a thought.  Now I am realizing I was naive.  It is all a continuum.

I asked questions and did not feel I was accusing you.  I’ll keep it in mind as I read over these posts again.    Can you please be specific as to what you felt was accusatory?  

By the way, a lack of empathy is not a shameful thing, in my estimation.  I don't empathize with everyone, not even nearly everyone, and certainly not all the time with those I do.  Who does?  I don’t expect you to.  

As far as identities, for all any of us know there could be someone with multiple personalities posting or people posting under all sorts of pretense etc.  Not knowing for sure is the reality of this media's limitations and human limits too (such as time to read all of this, a desire to belong etc.)  I don't pretend (especially not so much now) to know who exactly I am dealing with unless I have paid attention and even then it takes a lot of time to know someone.  I am learning that again and again and again,each time with a bit more nuance, detail etc. If I waited until I knew everything and was sure I was right I would still be in bed – heck I’d still be in my crib.  

Yes I may have confused you lisa Blondish 2002 with Sandahl etc.  In part I did so because I felt I noticed a similar, very similar, tone.  By the way I don't think Sandahl is some sort of evil person anyway.  I am angry at her behavior and I don't trust her.

This might sound a bit awful but we didnt really have any problems at the N board until you appeared

It sounds laughable to me.  I am just not that powerful.  No human is.  


P.S. a broken watch is right twice a day.

Echo

[Jaded911]

A broken watch is right atleast one time a day, heehee, now that is funny.  Guess I never thought about it, it actually is right just once a day.  See lisa, learn something new everyday.  

Now I am really mad at someone on here, I just broke one of my fingernails typing this.

[Jaded911]

I am learning that again and again and again,each time with a bit more nuance, detail etc. If I waited until I knew everything and was sure I was right I would still be in bed – heck I’d still be in my crib.

Heehee this is funny too.  Thank you girls, you freggin made me laugh. Not one time, two.  Hells bells, who would a thunk it?

[Acappella]

page 5 of this thread,

I'll also ask who the hell I want to return to a board they once loved and that I participate in if I want. I told them POSTS AGO, that I wasnt going to ask them that again and I havent.

understand what went wrong on MY forum

That sounds like Sandahl to me Nike.  Can you understand how I might feel that was written by Sandahl?  

I don't feel offended if or when someone says they feel I acted narcissistic or whatever, paranoid even (can you imagine?).  Especially someone I am not connected with.   I could be disapointed in myself or what I percieve to be the other persons lack of knowledge of me.  A lot depends on my level of connection with the other person. Frankly that is one of the built in boundaries and safety mechanisms here in internet land.  It is far more condusive an environment for taking time to build connections and listening very very carefully to what is being written.  

Honestly,  I cannot claim to care for anyone on this board or any other board beyond a very limited version of caring.  I don't really know any of you beyond what you have written and my recollection of what was written and my interpretation of what was written, nor you me.  Lets be real here.

I am just begining to form some more solid feelings about some folks who post here and I am more prepared than ever to be wrong.

[bunny]

Look Herm or Bunny or whoever you are, I"m not here to argue with anyone! I'm just trying to understand what went wrong on MY forum and if you dont like that I'm sorry. Alot of people left that I truly liked alot and I wanted to know why.

Here is the lowdown:

(1) Sand attacked me personally in some posts. I felt unsafe, that I had to leave immediately. I said a brief goodbye post so people wouldn't think I had died. That was all I felt I could do, or had to do. There was no private conversation between me and Sandahl.

(2) As a result, some people shared their feelings about my leaving, or the way the group was run, and Sand banned them or kicked them off the group. She also erased a number of explanatory posts so people did not know what was going on, because she felt the posts criticized her.

(3) Some of us were notified through various ways that this group was available for processing our feelings. That's what we're doing.

I guess you are upset about the disruption on N-partners, that it was a nice place until "this" happened, and you are upset and angry about it. That is a shame, I agree, but things change in life.

[Acappella]

see I fell for an image...

a broken watch LOOKS right twice a day.  

I was wrong, I was wrong, I was wrong.   Cut my membership now before all hell breaks loose!    

[hope2003]

Echo: I hope that you mean from there, not here.  You are a valuable voice. This will blow over soon.

My guess is that Nike is going back to Npartners and we can finish processing an move on.

[Jaded911]

Wow Echo, who wrote those?  See what I mean?  Geesh if you attack someones character, you have to be able to stand like a man and take it back.  I am sorry to know that some are writing  gumbo about us, but I actually do not give a hoot what they think of me.  Know why?  With friends like that, who in the heck needs enemies.  

I am not saying I want anyone to come to my defense.  That does also include I do not want them attacking me once I am gone.  It reminds me of my aunt.  Kissy Kissy to anyones face, the minute you walk out the door, she is jabbin about them.  I like to stay away from aunt, I will stay away from anyone like that for all that matters.

I also wanted to ask who made the comment that they were better off with us gone?  Owie, that one was a stinger.  The sad thing about it, I cant recall any of us creating any problems there.  If we did, sure were not informed of it.  But then again I didnt think I did anything wrong with my N the whole time he was treating me like a dumpster he continually dumped his trash into.  Well then I guess if they feel better off without us there, nobody there got anything from our postsand they aint a gonna miss out on anything, huh??

 Maybe that helps me understand even further that it doesnt matter how many friends you have to describe your wealth.  You could have just one friend and be wealthier than one who has 100.  Depends on the level of sincerity of the friends.  That one friend could be more trustworthy then the other 100 put together could be.

[bunny]

Jaded,

You're right. No one did anything on N-partners to deserve being kicked off.

[Acappella]

Thanks Hope,

that is one of the beauties of this site, so far, relatively speaking.  Whatever R. Grossman's interest in this site is I don't think deleting voices is one of them.

[Jaded911]

OMG Echo,

LOL, you are right, a broken watch is right 2 times a day.  LOL, geese louise.  I swear some times I wonder about myself.

Echo you might be doubting alot of people right now because of this incident.  Time will tell hun who speaks in tongue from those who speak the truth.  I could sit here and tell you until the cows come home that I am a truthful person.  Doesnt mean I am.  I had to learn that the hard way.  But I am telling you I am a person of my word and I promise you that over time you will see that from me as well as others here.

I refuse to suspect everyone of being a damn liar liar pants on fire.  But it sure does make you walk a little slower towards someone, doesnt it?  

Lets not lose faith in everyone just because we are disapointed in a few.  I will not live my life with doubt about everyones character, but I will be damned if I will live it with blinders on either.  Give everyone a chance to prove their abilities to be a trusting confidant.  The reward will be worth the wait.

[Anonymous]

I thought I'd add some support to those who recently were removed from n-partners by sand.  I joined n-partners the same month sand did and I have watched for 2 full years now as she has moved from being member to asst. manager and then manager.  I have not bothered to post over there in ages because of sand's methods.  IMHO she cannot tolerate it when someone comes along who generates more than a modicum of support among the members, like herm did.   It appears as though this threatens her and she eventually strikes out at them to try to undermine them (lest they usurp her lofty status ?)  I saw her strike out at herm in the thread about "n's and aa", and I don't blame herm for responding the way she did. Sand was out of line.  But you see, as long as sand is the manager she (and only she) is allowed to be out of line.  There isn't a thing anyone can do about it - she is in charge of the delete button.  There have been many valuable viewpoints lost to n-partners because of sand's behavior.  The only available recourse for those valuable viewpoints  is to either leave, as some here have, or stop posting, as I have, and just go on viewing the site for new people's valuable viewpoints.   I generally just click past sand's posts, she has made herself someone whose viewpoints I have no use for anymore in light of her unreasonableness.  You guys are right, in case it helps to hear it from another corner.

[hope2003]

Yes, it helps tremendously.  I can't thank you enough for your support.

When I joined the group, Hermione posted frequently and, I thought, had great comments 99.9% of the time.  I am sure that Sandahl felt threatened.  The group began to look at Hermione as a leader.  I have no problem admitting that Hermione has more technical knowledge than me.  Also, she has better insight than me most of the time.  therefore, i was terribly sorry to have her leave.

I hope that eventually you will join us.

[Jaded911]

That was exactly how I felt when I read the post you are talking about.  I know some people can misjudge your words or the meaning behind them, but I dont think this is the case here.

 I have a morbid curiosity and go back to read the boards now and what is being said.  I have compared her posts now to the ones with Herm and this is an obvious shift in her demeanor.  That tells me she is either glad that herm is gone and she feels less threatened, or she is doing some woe is me to get support and sympathy for this situation.  

Sometimes reinforcement comes from the least likely sources.  I felt I learned alot from that site, but I also realise that I followed the right ones out of that place.  Wait, should I say I was ejected with the right ones from the place.  Well ya know that saying "I have been kicked out of better places than that", I  think that applies with this ordeal.

[Acappella]

Nike,

Im not meaning to be rude to you , really I'm not it's just that I've seen both sides and yes I can see where Sand was wrong about some things, although I think it was pretty insignificant stuff girls. I dont know why you made such a big deal out of it demanding that she do this and do that.

It was Sandahl, who I got that you say you are not (nearly Dr. Suess that was) - that demanded apologies (condition of being let back into the Sandahl site) and that we calm down.  

Have you seen both sides?  No one else here has.  It wasn't allowed.

I wanted the posts to stay and it wasn't to PROVE anyone right or wrong - only to let everyone decide for themselves what they felt with as much info as possible and to keep some integrity within a string of posts about the sadness of someone leaving and within discussions about when posts are or are not deleted.