Does someone know of a good sexual abuse support site?

[mum]

Denise: we are noticing you, we are loving you,  we feel your pain, we care.
If we could we would be holding you.  We are "strangers" too, but we are friends as well.  There are other friends, others who care, who want to help.  Please open to that.    You are not invisible.  You are not nothing.  You are loveable and we want to help you see that.  There are people where you are who will help you do this.  Let them.  It's ok.

[bunny as guest]

Denise,

I know it seems like forever to get an answer. It must seem very unfair and horrible. But you know, people remember that you're here even when they aren't posting.

bunny

[Guest4]

Denise,

I do not know you and have just returned from a week away at a family funeral (my aunt for whom I am named). Your story is so horrible that I do not know how to even respond to you. But I want to say that you have forgotten one very beautiful thing you were born with and no one, no abuse can ever take away. That is the music of your soul. You sing even if you do not know it. I can hear it in your posts to people on this board. Keep singing beautiful soul and you ARE going to get better. You will do this for your self and it will be a gift to all the rest of us who want to see you "weller". Hugs and good wishes, good karma, white light and every possible blessing God can bestow upon you. Much love. Guest4

[P]

Hiya again Denise, Monday 11. am here in England, how are you today?

I know you said you can't talk to strangers, but talking to strangers here has been one of the most positive things I have ever done, if not THE most positive thing in my life.....(I need to think about that to see if that's true, it probably is)..

We're all strangers to each other, unless we talk. We talk and we find out that many people feel similar to us. I wanted to end my life once, I didn't because I thought "what's the point in doing it? No-one will care." Death isn't the answer, it's just nothing. Cutting is kind of okay in my book, as long as it doesn't end you up in Casualty (because the nurses and doctors in A&E are still very dismissive of self-inflicted injury, they don't understand it). Not cutting would be better, but if cutting lets out the pain a little, well, I understand. It's nothing to be embarrassed about, lots of us do it or have done it in the past.

You said you get too overwhelmed with emotion to talk to people, the Samaritans for example. What did you mean? That you can't physically talk? That's okay. They'll listen to you cry instead. You don't have to just talk. And if you wish, you can visit one of their offices if there's one close to you.

Letting safe people see your pain will most probably help you. And help you lots - but it does take time. Please think about this? And keep posting, we want to listen to you too. best, Portia

[P]

PS. proper time check here...currently...11.26 am and it's darn cold for May. Bye for now, portia

[Anonymous]

Hi Denise:

So sorry to hear that you are feeling so low down awful.       It's not very nice for you and it probably seems like it can't or won't change, maybe??

Denise, what if you did contact the samaritans?  What if you call them and explain that you need help but it's hard to talk to strangers?  What's the worst thing that could happnen?  They could hang up on you, maybe?? The probability of that happening is next to ziltch, I bet.

In the short time you've been here, talking to strangers......do you feel the warmth from the words of response to you?  Do you believe people it..... here actually care?  It's true!!!

For me, bothering to write a response to someone, taking the time to try to put my thoughts into words, trying to say something to encourage, trying to connect...with the person in some way....with you....all of that is done because I care.    Believe it or not...and I'm a stranger (maybe stranger than some ) but I do care that you are suffering...feeling alone and lost... and I want to help.  I don't like to know that you feel so hopeless and I want you to know that I will post to you as often as I can.   I think there are other people here who feel the same.  Some have already indicated it.

So, Denise....isn't that kind of cool?  Even a little?  You may not believe this.....but it is possible that  if you stick around here, you will find yourself, at some time, writing something similar to what I have written above   , or at the very least, feeling it, about some other stranger, who is suffering and feeling lost and alone....some time.   It sounds like you have had a horrendous childhood and many tough experiences as an adult....but the thing is......there are other people here who have felt lost and alone and hopeless too and although they may not have had the same experiences as you, pain is pain, right?  So people here will understand.

Denise, don't give up.  You don't have to think about the memories so much and they can eventually be filed away and forgotten about.   There are ways to train your mind to do this, to deal with the emotional trauma and there are people who can help you learn about all of that.  But you have to reach out, just a little further.  How about at least calling those samaritans?  See if it might help?  What's to lose??

There is hope, Denise.  There really is.    Others have returned from the deep, dark, abbys.  Life sucks sometimes.  But so far.....you have survived, you have been very brave to post here at all, you have been honest about your feelings, you have let a bits out, you have communicated your desperation and you have reached out to others here.  Those are all accomplishments!!   Keep doing that!!

And for today......please do your very best to convince yourself that one phone call isn't the end of all life on earth.  That one phone call could be a way to help yourself further.  One phone call to the samaritans might ease some of your pain, Denise, and possibly be of even more help than that.

((((((((((((((((Denise))))))))))))))))))

I'd love to know more about your children......not stuff that would identify them.....but stuff about why you love them, what their qualities are, what they have brought to your life, so far, what their accomplishments are, etc.
If you feel like sharing??

GFN

[Denise]

I just want to say thankyou to you all for your kind words, i still cant write much cos my brain isnt working properly yet, to many tears i think, but i will reply properly in time.
Today i am feeling a little better, theres been a few tears but it looks like i might finally be getting some real help to deal with all the different issues, and put things to rest, i am told i am in for a rocky road ahead while i exorcise all these bad things in my head, but at least help is on its way.
I wish i could treat you all to flowers and chocolates and hugs as a small thankyou, your kind words have helped, please dont abandon me just yet, cos hopefully you will all one day see the real me, the me that doesnt hurt anymore, am still at the bottom of the hole but maybe on the first rung back up the long ladder, thanks again everyone, its nice that complete strangers can be so caring xxxxx

[Brigid]

Denise,
I'm so glad the day is looking a little brighter for you today.  You know that the vast amount of damage that has been done to you is going to take a lot of work and time to heal.  If only there were a magic wand and fairy dust that could make it all go away and life would be beautiful again.  

I would be honored to share those chocolates and hugs with you as you slowly climb that ladder.  I'm so proud of you that you have made the choice to save yourself and find that healthy, loving, kind, wonderful person that has been buried under the rubble of abuse, pain and mistreatment inflicted by those who were on this earth to care for you.

I continue to hold you in my prayers, Denise.

((((((Denise)))))))))))

Brigid

[Anonymous]

Hi Denise,

I'm glad you're feeling better and are getting real help.

bunny

[Portia]

Hi Denise, I want to give you flowers and chocolates and hugs and say a great big Thank You to you for letting us know how you are. It's good to know you're getting help. Very best wishes to you for today and tomorrow and all your tomorrows, may there be lots of them. And when you want to post here, we want to know about you too. Believe that! Take of your precious self, P

[Anonymous]

Glad to hear you are doing better, Denise.

(((Denise)))

I hope that you keep posting.

Mia

[Anonymous]

Hiya Denise:

Glad to hear the hope return to your voice......that you will find the you underneath the pain, that you will be getting help, and that things look a little better.  Good for you!!!  YOu are no quitter!!

Thankyou for wishing me chocolates and hugs!  Those are two of my favorite things!!!  I wish lot's and lot's of them back to you and not just today, but every day from now on.

I will keep you in my prayers too, Denise.  Keep climbing that ladder!  One rung at a time!  I know it's hard work but you will eventually reach the top.  Just keep on trying!!    

GFN

[Anonymous]

Yesterday evening i had a visit from an emergency team, called race, who are set up for people who are in real danger of hurting themselves, after a long talk i felt a little better cos i thought i was finally going to get some proper help, cos my concentration is poor at the moment i couldnt take in everything that was being said, i woke at 3.40am this morning, my mind working over time, trying to process all that was said, i am still not really any the wiser, they are phoning me again tomorrow, so maybe i will take notes, i got up this morning thinking a little more positive about things, and now i am in pieces again, ive just been pushed off my ladder and left once again in a mess, thanks to my so called friend, so once again am locked in my room, once again theres plenty of tears, once again i feel isolated and alone, and why cos i asked for help with something i wasnt sure about, if my friend had contacted me last night and help explain,as he said he would, my journey maybe could have started today, i feel like i am fighting a losing battle, my brain is in overload, i dont have a therapist now, and i just cant concentrate, now am panicky and upset and dont know which way i am supposed to go  

Denise

[Anonymous]

So i will say, thankyou friend, you know i suffer with anxiety,and you know it was an important issue, you said you would help, i did not shout and scream at you as you said i did, i just wanted help, the day unfolds you lose your wallet and in a rounabout way you blame me, stop for a minute, rewind to yesterday and understand what i said instead of going at me, it was NOT my fault        

Denise

[Anonymous]

Denise,

 2 positive statements I see you have written that jump out at me:

so maybe i will take notes,

Excellent idea!  Good for you!  Race wants to help you and you are wise to think of writing stuff down because it is hard to concentrate right now.
Do that!!  For sure!!  It will help later...to have something to refer to and reinforce the information/ideas.  It might help with concentrating too because writing sends the info to your brain in a different way than listening does.  Ask them to speak slowly and explain that you are taking notes because of the difficulty you are having concentrating and understanding right now.   They will understand.

it was NOT my fault

Ofcourse it wasn't Denise!  Good for you for standing up for yourself!  For not taking blame that does not belong to you and for coming here to get support because you need it!

Your friend let you down.     That hurts.  It is disappointing and not what you expected.  I'm sorry this has happened.

Is there anyone else you can call on?  I'm glad you have reached out here.  You are not alone Denise.  I am very proud of you for making that call to Race and being so brave.  Good for you girl!!  

GFN