Does someone know of a good sexual abuse support site?

[Anonymous]

To end it would be easier, rather than having to face these emotional challenges every day, ive lost me in all this, a year on and i still see no bright future, and it cant continue

[P]

(((((Denise))))) hang in there, this will not last and things will change, next week will arrive and until then...you still have us! I know we're not the best thing but we are here and we will listen to you. Even if we don't post to you, we're still listening. Watch the 'viewed' count go up on your thread. It's still going up!

You still have your internet connection and all the amazing things there are on servers all around the world.

You can go anywhere in the world on the internet. Right now I guess we're on a server in America, amazing, these typed words bouncing back and forth across the skies, across the Atlantic (I guess?). Isn't that amazing? You still there Denise?...portia...

[mudpup]

Hi Denise,

Do you know the number for race?
Maybe you could switch your phone on to call them, and tell them what the situation is and have them explain things for you, then afterwards turn your phone back off.
Or maybe you could call them and set up a time for them to call you and only have your phone on at that time.

if someone wants to help and be your friend, shouldnt that be the case all the time.....am i wrong, is my way of thinking wrong?

No, of course you're not wrong.  Your 'friend' is wrong. Your 'friend' has his own set of problems and he is putting them on you. You are right to stop him from doing that.

I have come to realize that a friend online who understands and cares is just as much a friend as someone we can touch and here. What matters is the caring not how close they are. There are a lot of people here who care for each other and for you.
I hope you will keep posting here, especially on the weekend, to talk to everyone here and let us know how you are doing and feeling. You are not alone. There are people here who will be your friend and love you. They have done it for me, so I know they will do it for you too.
I'll be your friend and I'll listen to anything you want to say.

If you can, please don't wait for race to contact you. Contact them.

mudpuppy

[Anonymous]

To end it would be easier, rather than having to face these emotional challenges every day,

To end it would be a very selfish act, if we consider your children, who will be left...without any mother to love them.

Sorry to be blunt and clear about that...sometimes we need people to be straight with us....for our own good...and for the good of our loved ones.
I wouldn't waste my time if I didn't give a hoot but I do care Denise.

(((((((((Denise))))))))

So.....isn't the thing to do......as Mudpup has suggested....contact Race, since you are feeling these seriously hopeless feelings???  Call them today???

I understand that you feel really, really low and tired and distressed and that every day seems the same.  I'm really sad for you and I even feel some of your pain, Denise.  But you are the only one who can fix this.

None of that..emotionally challenging stuff is going to change, Denise, unless you DO something....to make it change.

So why not make the call again.  Take a few more steps.  Forget the friend who isn't helping you.  Go to those who want to help you at Race.

Yes....you are doing great by posting here and I'm so glad you are doing that but you need more help than this.  You deserve more help than this.

You deserve to feel better and you can and will feel better....but you have to seek help....make the call......join the groups......make new friends.....etc.  Not all at once.  Just...a little at a time.

And you will see........you will be smiling soon Denise !

GFN

[serena]

To end it would be easier, rather than having to face these emotional challenges every day, ive lost me in all this, a year on and i still see no bright future, and it cant continue

I can only speak for myself, but don't think I wasn't where you are for years on end.

I spent nine years in therapy and I still take Seroxat every day of my life.

Having said that, my life is full, happy, wonderful and I never, ever worry about things that drive other people crazy because to have come back from the depths of depression is the greatest gift you could imagine.

I think you are in the UK, if so, what medication are you on?  Is your GP sympathetic?  Have you had therapy?  Have you approached your local Social Services?  Have you thought about in-patient treatment (voluntarily)?

You are doing a great thing posting here and I, for one, have never heard such a tale so profoundly sad.  Bear in mind, YOU were abused, your abusers attempted to 'steal your soul' - they didn't!!!!!  It's obviously still in there and still fighting.  They harmed you beyond recognition but you deserve to be the person you could have been before you were so violated.

Please don't give up but please try every single resource available to you.

[d'smom]

hope you are there, ive just been thinking about you.

i dont think anyone here would judge you for any coping techniques youve used to get this far. youve come through a lot with the coping tecniques you have, even selfharm, and nothing youve done is wrong!

its brought you this far. i just know how awful it is to feel stuck with horrible feelings and im sorry your going through that. i hope you keep just coming here and saying whatever you want or need. dont feel judged please for anything.

just know im thinking of you and wishing you good things to get you through all these feelings.

please keep saying whatever you need. i wont judge you for ANYTHING! john lennon said - "whatever gets you through the night, its alright"
d'smom

[Anonymous]

Hi Denise,

I hope you will turn your phone back on. Being contacted by Race is far more important than anything else. And we're here, keep posting.

bunny

[October]

((((((Denise)))))))  You are doing really well, please post again when you can.  Meanwhile, take it slowly.

[October]

..

[October]

will i survive the weekend, my son spends the weekend with his girlfriend, my daughter babysits and stays over, am alone, and this is when my mind works overtime, i get over anxious and overwhelmed with emotion, i hate it, i sit here tears in my eyes cos i know whats coming and i cant stop it    

Denise

Is there any way you can change your focus on this a little, and see the weekend on your own as a gift?  An oasis of peace and quiet in a week of noise and caring for other people?  Your children may not be with you, but they are still in your heart, and you can put photographs of them next to your bed, and next to where you usually sit in the daytime, to help you remember them, whether they are there or not.

You may not be able to watch television.  Is there a favourite film you like to see; one that you know well, and can enjoy?  Can you plan a nice bubbly bath?  Maybe go for a walk somewhere peaceful?  Or you could explore the internet a bit more; take a round the world trip to all those places you wanted to see.  Your choice.  

Everyone deserves a holiday, so maybe this weekend can be a mini holiday for you, rather than something to fear.

[Denise]

Portia, thankyou just for being there and reading and listening

[Denise]

Mudpuppy,i dont know the number for the race team, as it was done through my doctor, i am waiting for her to ring me with some details how i can contact them.
I still feel very low, but i havent slept well all week, waking at 3.30/4.00 every night, so it doesnt help being tired.
Thanks for offering friendship

[Denise]

GFN, its ok being blunt, you are entitled to your opinion, but if i could fix this that easily, i wouldnt be in this state in the first place.
I know what you are saying about joining groups etc but i am agrophobic, it makes me physically sick at the moment to go out and more so meeting new people, i am ashamed of how i have become  

[Denise]

Serena, am glad your life is sorted out now, as you say it takes time.
My meds r reboxetine highest dosage i can take, diazapam and zolpidem, ive been on the reboxetine a good few months now, and i actually think they are making me go backwards instead of forwards, so i think i will get them changed again.
My gp is ok, but if you live in the uk, you will know what the NHS is like, i need to see a psychologist this approximate waiting time is 18 months, ive got 5 to go, race are going to try and get it brought forward.
As 4 social services, i have been told to approach them but to complain not to ask for help, after being shoved in 40 different homes, would you want help from them?
Hospital frightens me to death, i was locked away as a child in various places, and thats how i see hospital, and what will it achieve anyway, they will just drug me up so i cant think about anything.
My abusers didnt steal my soul, they stole my innocent childhood, and now they have returned in my mind to steal my adulthood  

[Denise]

d'smom, thankyou to for thinking of me, and taking the time to let me know, i am grateful