Does someone know of a good sexual abuse support site?

[Anonymous]

Denise,

It matters to me.  It matters to others.  As you've said before you couldn't really go through with it because of your children.  However the pain is still there ... it does help to talk.  (((Denise)))

LM

[Denise]

I have been made to feel guilty over my children, and the guilt will go with me, but my children will be far better off without having to see me suffer like this everyday.

[Anonymous]

Denise,

I'm not trying to make you feel guilty about your children.  I truly recall that you wrote that you wouldn't do it because of them.  If I'm wrong about this I am very sorry.

I'm sure it is very hard to have your children see you suffer.  I don't think though that they would be better off with you gone.

Will you please talk to me some.  Tell me how life sucks and how unfair things can be.  Tell me how angry you are, how mad you are at what people have done.

LM

[Denise]

Sexually, physically, verbally mentally abused from the day i was born till the present day, that just about sums it up

[Anonymous]

You live in England, don't you?  I used to live in Florida, now I live in Belgium.

[Portia]

Dear Denise, I can’t tell if you’re crying or shouting when you said these things:

i will not be treated like a piece of dirt anymore,

and I say Good for you Denise! You stand up and say out loud: “I don’t deserve any more of this crap”. You won’t take it anymore!! Good. It doesn’t mean you have to leave. It means you made a decision. You can be in control. You can decide not to take it. You’re allowed to say “this isn’t good enough”. It’s not your fault and you’re not bad for wanting something different!

you have done more damage, your sleeping round your constant lies and your pretence of being my friend

David’s a bit of a proverbial shit it seems to me. He thinks a lot of himself. He doesn’t deserve your friendship. I’m sure I could be wrong, but the effect he has on you Denise, it doesn’t seem good.

I’m with LM here Denise, I’d like to hear just how angry you are. You deserve to be angry. It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to talk about it too. It can be scary, being angry, but please believe me, it does us good sometimes.

I don’t know. I might have it all wrong. Maybe you don’t feel angry?

I’m just chatting Denise, you don’t have to answer, just thoughts really. Hope you’ve got sun where you are, it’s very sunny here and almost too warm already (or maybe I’m having a hot flush, that’s a possibility I guess). Thinking of you

[Anonymous]

I think David is one toxic guy, he seems to pretend to care but it seems that that is all it is, pretense.  Yea he feels guilty for what he has done and I think he ought to.  I'm angry at him.  And if he is reading this I think he needs to stop messing with Denise's head.  I think this is what has really got to you Denise, this pretense of caring ... and you were sucked into it.  You have gone through a lot in life and this was just very, very cruel.

Portia, it's really hot here in Belgium now.  Luckily our downstairs is really cool.  That helps in the summer, however in the winter it's expensive to keep warm.

LM

[Portia]

Hi LM, if you’re in Belgium, and I’m about 20 miles north of London, and Denise you’re in the Wirral? I wonder if I’m about half way between you two??

I failed my geography exam. So I could be very wrong about that! But it’s hot here. Probably cooler up thar Denise? I lived in Liverpool in the early 80s. Loved it. Wonderful city. Haven’t been there for many years. I was rather glad about the European cup football-thingy (though I just don’t do this football thing). Liverpool is different to every other English city and it’s difficult to explain...

[Anonymous]

Thinking of you Denise and hoping your week end is going better than expected!

Do you ever rent funny movies?  Do you have a favorite?

Mine is and remains:  "Uncle Buck".

John Candy always makes me laugh....even by simply looking at his face, I end up in stitches.  That guy and his facial expressions!!!   Truly funny!

Just wondering if you've ever seen that movie?

GFN

[Denise]

Friday, i called for helped from the race team, cos of a doctors did not relay the messages, i could have been dead now, i was in that bad a state, my sister ended up finding out what was going on, so raced up here, she lives an hour an a half away, in the meantime i took an overdose, i spent the day in hospital yesterday, having observations bloods done etc and waiting to see a physchiatrist, in the hope they would finally give me new medication, hrs went past still no doctor, in the end we left, 10.45 last night we got home, race have been on the phone today saying my meds will definately be sorted by tuesday, am back on emergency call, so lets just see now if i get help.
Today my mood is a little lighter, probably cos i am mentally exhausted, an overdose was wrong maybe, but i am still here, and hopefully they will understand the urgency and desperation of the whole situation, its not attention seeking, its so very serious and real, i am neither happy or sad, more so numb by the whole ordeal, but still here to tell the tale, there must be at least 1 guardian angel out there looking out for me

[Denise]

GFN, i like comedy when i can concentrate, my favvy movies are the green mile, angelas ashes(cos of its reality to times gone by)  and the phantom of the opera

[Anonymous]

Hi Denise,

It's too bad you have to go to such dangerous lengths to get help.   I feel very frustrated for you. The UK health care system seems so inadequate. I hope this time you will be taken care of properly.

bunny

[Serena]

Friday, i called for helped from the race team, cos of a doctors did not relay the messages, i could have been dead now, i was in that bad a state, my sister ended up finding out what was going on, so raced up here, she lives an hour an a half away, in the meantime i took an overdose, i spent the day in hospital yesterday, having observations bloods done etc and waiting to see a physchiatrist, in the hope they would finally give me new medication, hrs went past still no doctor, in the end we left, 10.45 last night we got home, race have been on the phone today saying my meds will definately be sorted by tuesday, am back on emergency call, so lets just see now if i get help.
Today my mood is a little lighter, probably cos i am mentally exhausted, an overdose was wrong maybe, but i am still here, and hopefully they will understand the urgency and desperation of the whole situation, its not attention seeking, its so very serious and real, i am neither happy or sad, more so numb by the whole ordeal, but still here to tell the tale, there must be at least 1 guardian angel out there looking out for me

Denise

I'm delighted that you are still posting.  I hope you don't mind me saying this but have you considered entering a psychiatric facility as a volunteer?  I think it would help you greatly to become acclimatised to new medications?

Loving thoughts

S

[Anonymous]

Hi Denise:

Maybe you could start planning for next week end.....now.  Since week ends seem to be the hardest for you, wouldn't it be good to have a plan of stuff to do to help the week end be more enjoyable?  The good thing about renting movies is that you can stop them and replay any part you wish to.  This works well when concentration is a problem.   And renting a funny movie might lift your spirits for a little while.  What do you think?

I hope your meds get straightened around real quick.   If you do what Serena says it might be the best thing.  In patient might help you in many respects with different skills.

Glad you're feeling a bit lighter today.

I felt sad and angry when I read that you took an overdose and then when you wrote:

...an overdose was wrong maybe

Sounds like maybe you still think it's an ok thing to do maybe?  I totally disagree.  No maybe.

It's hard for me to allow myself to get emotionally involved with you because you might just discount and ignor my feelings and go ahead and overdose again because it's ok, maybe?   Except actually I must already be doing some of that or I wouldn't feel sad or angry to know that you did intentionally overdose and just happened to survive.

I want to connect with you as a person and as a friend but I don't want to be treated as if that is nothing, of no value, not worth considering, not important.   That's what it feels like my communications have been and I'm just letting you know that because I think it's better to express my feelings, rather than just keep them bottled up.  Maybe if I share them, you will find some value in them too.

GFN

[bunny]

GFN

With respect, I would not go this route. This is unsolicited advice and just my opinion.

bunny