The meaning of life ???

[Anonymous]

Hi October and all:

I'm glad you are climbing out of the darkness enough to comment and respond.  That's a good sign!!  Good for you!!

Even if what we say, is not the right thing, or not much help, at least people here try to respond..... because they care.
GFN

I think this comment was more of a reflection of my own worries/fears that I might not say the right thing...or that I might (heaven help us!!) say something that might make things worse.  It was my attempt to let you know that my intention is to help because I care and that I believe there are others here who also do the same (and may not post because of this same worry or who may worry after they post).   I know I could say the wrong thing because I don't know everything, or because I might be reacting, or because I may not be always thinking clearly or even getting the point.  If that happens, I am so sorry.  I don't want to do that.

From the link you posted:

When we stretch and torment our minds over the problem of evil in the world, we should not forget that the survival of love is just as much of a mystery.

My opinion is that the evil of the world....tests this survival.   I don't know why it is here other than to do so.  I doubt either thing will ever be gone from here (evil or love) and I seek out the good and to love because I like it a whole lot better than the opposite choice.  It seems more reasonable.

I like the way he defined love as:

‘unreasonable’ as so much of the tragedy itself. It is generous and creative, self-forgetful, capable of doing what sometimes seem very small or ineffectual things simply because they are worth doing for the sake of honouring other human beings.

This is truly accurate, if you ask me.  It is unreasonable to give, give, give and not be given by others.  But what we may not realize is that by giving so much we recieve much more.  Maybe not from those particular people we are giving to, but we do receive stuff...points (which may come in many forms)....that add up....that help to make a more loving world .....that give us good feelings about ourselves and others who do the same......that contribute to our success/survival....in the test, or as it has been labelled in that link...the challenge....we have been given.

GFN

[bunny as guest]

The problem is, as with all therapists, she thinks it is a dependency issue.  Maybe it is, but not the way they get taught to expect.  I have problems attaching to people, and no problem at all detaching.  She thinks I want her phone number/email.  I don't.  I want to know that during the times between sessions I am safe.  I have since found a helpline number for a women's abuse group, so that is probably enough.  That and friends.  But it should not have to be this way, imo.

If she thinks this is a "dependency issue" then why isn't she talking about it in a therapy session? Instead she just leaves. That is straight abandonment and her calling it dependency is lame and doesn't cut it. I'm not sure why she is a therapist if she dumps all her clients when they're down and considers them overly dependent.

I mean I try to live by the expectation that love matters, and that giving is more important than receiving.  Which is fine for 90% or more of the time, but it falls down if, at the point of need, everyone runs for the hills and leaves you on your own.  At that point, you just feel used.  Then it is not about love, it is about exploiting someone with too kind or loving or forgiving a nature.  You end up not feeling like a kind person.  You - I - feel like an idiot for falling for the same old trick all over again.

Do you mean, you put yourself out for people with no thought of reward, but still hope that they will do the same for you? And then they are nowhere to be found when you need them?
 
P.S. Wilkie Collins was a great writer.

bunny