Emotional disloyalty is abandonment -

[David P]

Hey girls -Mike has decided to dump Sue .He was not really happy and is looking to move on. Saturday she gets kicked to the kerb. Go Mike!

David P.

[Brigid]

David,
Since you asked for the female opinion, I'll offer some motherly advice.  I don't see this as being any different from the guy who treats his female companion so disrespectfully (I happen to think that treating your partner with respect is one of the most important criteria of a good relationship).  I agree that she is just playing him until something better comes along and his being willing to take it is just feeding her pathetic ego.  I think the book "He's Just Not That Into You" might apply here (replace she's with he's) and this is not the way you treat someone that you are "into."

This is probably one of many red flags that are flying in his relationship that he is choosing to ignore, or at least not use as a reason to end the relationship.  It's good that he's questioning it, but only useful if he actually listens to the answers and acts accordingly. 

Brigid

PS Saw your post after I wrote this.  I'm glad he has made the decision and she will find herself in the gutter on Saturday.

[miss piggy]

Hey girls and DP,

Yes, my first response is that, whoa, this is rude!  See above post.  But then it occurred to me (someone posted to this effect) that maybe this is something that somebody says to someone who just isn't getting the message--that she's not into you, dude.  So maybe Mike is a pest if she has already tried to signal her disinterest and he's chosen to ignore it.  Maybe HE just can't believe that a girl wouldn't be attracted and flattered by all his attention. 

My Ndad's "friend" (I suspect it might have been my dad himself) was on an airplane sitting next to an extremely attractive female passenger.  He tried to engage her in conversation and she wasn't playing along.  He persisted, and she turned straight at him and jammed her finger in her nose up to her second knuckle to fully signal her disrespect and disinterest.  Yes, I wouldn't do this but again I'm not an extremely attractive female who might get tired of being hit on at every turn.  My dad's "friend" couldn't understand why she wasn't flattered and happy to have his attention.  It just didn't compute.  Sheesh. 

So DP, it might be a draw here.  Mike may have pushed Sue into a position of having to be so incredibly rude in front of witnesses so there is no question that he should back off and he would lose face if he didn't...you, as witness, provided him with the realization that he was making an ass out of himself.  You helped them both out.


MP

[David P]

Thank you ladies( and Mom) for your take on this. I do not really think that it matters why she acted as she did, what matters is that she did it and disrespect at that level is inexcusable. Mike is not short of female attention,he gets hit on all the time ( he is better placed in that direction than Sue who is rather plain) He can pick and choose so breaking up is not  going to see him on the couch with a beer and a pizza come Saturday night.
In the washup I guess that it comes down to Mike and Sue finding a relationship that is right fior them with someone else.

David P.