Hi to all
Boy am i ready for bed!
Izzy
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I think you have to read it all to get the impact of me and my 2 younger siblings, ages 65 and 67
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I was up early Sat. (7:30) --then waiting, and was sleeping at my computer desk when my brother, and sister, called at 11:00. They had arrived and were at my old address where I lived with the N.!!! laff laff.
He stayed on the phone as I guided him here, and that is not far from the N.
I went down to meet them at the door and we hugged and kissed and TALKED, came up to my apt. they thought it looked great and we TALKED. I wanted to have lunch and my salads but we TALKED.
I finally said that we were taking a walking tour, as they were now living in MY world, which took explaining for them to understand, which they did and we went to The Grateful Fed for lunch and we TALKED.
BTW. They looked no older than when I last saw them, as they said to me. 9-11 years ago.
I showed them every business establishment in this small 2-block area, that made it so handy for what I do and they now understood, then on to the Japanese Gardens, the Library, then the Yacht Club that began our lakeside tour and a stop for ice cream. and we TALKED.
Many things to point out along the way, and the Grande Finale that I knew my brother would love was, in the Wetlands at the end of the lakeside walk was an Osprey’s nest. He took a million pictures. There were 3 birds: Momma, Poppa, and baby I expect and I was so surprised, and we TALKED. The pic in here is empty of birds. It is from the city’s album.
We came back home and had my salads etc for dinner, as our lunch was pretty heavy. They loved my salads. They were happy that I had beer and wine for them. We TALKED.
Their horseback riding stories were great, as they were the only novices in the Group.
Bro had to saddle sis’s horse and boost her up, as she is short. Once she wasn’t prepared and he flipped her so she fell flat on her back. She came here covered with bruises, and he came here with a beard I’ve never seen before. They still look young, as do I, and we TALKED.
They didn’t interfere with my way of life, as I has made that clear and I called the next day to tell them when to come and we TALKED. We finished off the salads for lunch and then was a car ride tour. I showed them how close the Office was to me then we went up Knox Mountain, MY mountain. I can see it out my balcony window. Then to the scene of the Forest Fires that devastated Kelowna a couple of summers back, then to Layercake Mountain, and we TALKED.
Finally----------------------Finally when my car is ready to have a heart attack—we came back here, as we forgot water bottles, and we TALKED. Do you know this was when I finally got ME into the conversation?
My sister , who was privy to my depressed crying spell in 1993, was flabberghasted when I told her I have never cried since (This was re my daugher.)
I told them about Therapy and what my problems were. (Meanwhile they had seen me as just the same as before, but then I had been traumatized before, and by them.) I recounted tales I knew they would not remember, as they are both younger and had no hand in certain things except to be egged into it by my N sister, next older than I.
I mentioned all the traumas and I told my brother I knew I loved him, from past memories and what was in my mind, but my heart is not working. I told him he was special to me as he shared 2 secrets with me when he was younger and I felt so close to him [[[[ I was very disappointed to learn that those two secrets were known by sis—and I thought I had kept them. Had been special, for him all these years.]]]] I had that 'closeness" with him to remember, for oh so many years, and it wasn't mine to hold close.
I ended the day, before they left for the B&B, after we went for Chinese Food for dinner, by saying, ”You can see now why I will never be back to Ontario” (Canada) I said I would not be there for anyone’s funeral. I would send a proper bouquet and a card, but that would be all, and no one would know when I died, until my daughter received a Death Certificate in the mail.
I cut off suddenly here as this is long, but it was an important visit for me and am anxious to share some intricate details with my therapist.
My brother asked me to please email him, in a week or two, when I've thought about it all, and tell him really!!!! what this visit meant to me.
End of this unless someone has a question, as I'm not into long posts.
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