Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

[BonesMS]

Recently, my car started acting up and BF asked me to call NDoofus to help me with transportation.  I refuse to do that.

Bones

[Certain Hope]

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Bones... car troubles are a pain. I take it that bf is not mechanically inclined, and - in customary Mr. Fix-It manner - he's providing you what is (to him!) the simplest remedy for the problem. Ahem.

I hope you know a reliable, trustworthy mechanic who'll diagnose the trouble! Especially, I hope it's nothing too serious or costly, Bones. If you can afford it, maybe a rental car would alleviate the transportation stresses while your own vehicle is in the shop?  I know, that's alot of if's, but... a proactive approach which doesn't involve N's or Doofuses is always best, imo.

With love,
Carolyn

[Leah]

Oh, Bones,

With your work and activities, you really need your car, and, do hope that you can find a reliable, affordable, car mechanic.  Is there anyone you can ask, maybe, your colleagues may be able to recommend someone to you?

Hope you have gained your strength back, following your recent recovery from flu.

Thoughts of you.

Love, Leah

[BonesMS]

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Bones... car troubles are a pain. I take it that bf is not mechanically inclined, and - in customary Mr. Fix-It manner - he's providing you what is (to him!) the simplest remedy for the problem. Ahem.

I hope you know a reliable, trustworthy mechanic who'll diagnose the trouble! Especially, I hope it's nothing too serious or costly, Bones. If you can afford it, maybe a rental car would alleviate the transportation stresses while your own vehicle is in the shop?  I know, that's alot of if's, but... a proactive approach which doesn't involve N's or Doofuses is always best, imo.

With love,
Carolyn

Thanks, Carolyn!

I've taken the car to a reliable mechanic.  The cause is still a mystery so the assessment is still ongoing.  BF has never been mechanically inclined.  His expertise is in mathematics and astrophysics, not automotive engineering.  If my car was the USS Enterprise, he is definitely NOT Scotty!

Bones

[BonesMS]

Oh, Bones,

With your work and activities, you really need your car, and, do hope that you can find a reliable, affordable, car mechanic.  Is there anyone you can ask, maybe, your colleagues may be able to recommend someone to you?

Hope you have gained your strength back, following your recent recovery from flu.

Thoughts of you.

Love, Leah

Thanks, Leah!

I have a mechanic conducting an ongoing assessment with my car even at this writing.  We both know something is happening everytime the weather gets rainy, cold and nasty but the exact cause is still being elusive.

Bones

[Certain Hope]

Well, dear Bones... something happens to me when the weather is cold, rainy, and nasty, too!    But in the case of your automobile, sounds to me like an electrical issue... and those can be elusive, indeed.

Today I was thinking about the ramifications of contacting the N-doofus-es in our lives, at times when we need assistance...
 and oh, how very much that can be an opening of pandora's box.  What does a pathological narcissist expect in return for a favor?  Everything, I guess! Then again, N's expect everything anyway, since they're doing you a favor just by allowing you to share the planet with them... lol... oy.
Anyhow, I hope your car get fixed up properly and soon and that it's not some teeny computer sensor gone faulty, requiring 5 hours labor to access.
(((((((Bones)))))))  Take good care of yourself.

Carolyn

[BonesMS]

Well, dear Bones... something happens to me when the weather is cold, rainy, and nasty, too!    But in the case of your automobile, sounds to me like an electrical issue... and those can be elusive, indeed.

Today I was thinking about the ramifications of contacting the N-doofus-es in our lives, at times when we need assistance...
 and oh, how very much that can be an opening of pandora's box.  What does a pathological narcissist expect in return for a favor?  Everything, I guess! Then again, N's expect everything anyway, since they're doing you a favor just by allowing you to share the planet with them... lol... oy.
Anyhow, I hope your car get fixed up properly and soon and that it's not some teeny computer sensor gone faulty, requiring 5 hours labor to access.
(((((((Bones)))))))  Take good care of yourself.

Carolyn

Thanks, Carolyn! 

I really do prefer to NOT open that Pandora's box with NDoofus!

Bones

[BonesMS]

Hey Bones

Go to the Huskly on the corner of the highway! Cal is good and fair

Izzy

 

[BonesMS]

I had a situation happen last Saturday that has me scratching my head.

I had gone to a restaurant to meet with a group of friends and talk about our mutual interests.  One person, who is not an official member of the group, "dropped in" unnanounced and ordered dinner with the rest of us.  We've known her for a few years and didn't really say anything since anyone is entitled to go to a restaurant to eat if they want to.  As the group was adjourning for the evening, each of us paying our individual tabs, and I started heading out the door with my take-home frozen dessert, this "gate crasher" accosted me at the door asking me to loan her money to pay for her dinner!!!!     Turns out that she had shown up at the restaurant and brought NO money with her and, apparently, she assumed that others would pay for her dinner FOR her!!!  I just looked her straight in the eye and told her:  "I don't have it to loan.  Bye-bye!"

This individual is older than I am, she knew that she was going to a restaurant and that restaurants CHARGE for their meals!  I don't understand how she could simply "drop in", unannounced, and expect others to pay for her dinner plus their own when she has NEVER contributed ANYTHING in the years we have known her!

Bones

[Certain Hope]

This individual is older than I am, she knew that she was going to a restaurant and that restaurants CHARGE for their meals!  I don't understand how she could simply "drop in", unannounced, and expect others to pay for her dinner plus their own when she has NEVER contributed ANYTHING in the years we have known her!

Bones

Bones,

My guess is - - she's discovered that this technique works for her... or at least, it works enough of the time that she continues to try it.
Isn't it strange? Kinda reminds me of cleptomania, in a way... people stealing, simply for some weird thrill.
I don't think it's anything to do with the money or the food, but more about the satisfaction of the game.

I wonder how she managed to wiggle out of this one?!?

You did well to respond directly and not bail her out, I think!

Carolyn

[BonesMS]

This individual is older than I am, she knew that she was going to a restaurant and that restaurants CHARGE for their meals!  I don't understand how she could simply "drop in", unannounced, and expect others to pay for her dinner plus their own when she has NEVER contributed ANYTHING in the years we have known her!

Bones

Bones,

My guess is - - she's discovered that this technique works for her... or at least, it works enough of the time that she continues to try it.
Isn't it strange? Kinda reminds me of cleptomania, in a way... people stealing, simply for some weird thrill.
I don't think it's anything to do with the money or the food, but more about the satisfaction of the game.

I wonder how she managed to wiggle out of this one?!?

You did well to respond directly and not bail her out, I think!

Carolyn

Thanks, Carolyn.

I'm not sure what happened after I left.  She had annoyed the ENTIRE group, during our meeting, by attempting to continually change the subject to HER interests, HER toys, HER accomplishments, etc., etc. etc. and attempting to make "cute" comments that went over like a lead balloon until all of us said, simultaneously, "SHUT UP!"  On top of that, whenever anyone in the group discussed a topic such as an upcoming convention nearby or someone succeeding in selling something they wrote, this Nindividual would attempt to make a dirty joke out of it until it was all I could do to restrain myself from throttling her!

Bones

[BonesMS]

I just got ANOTHER e-mail from NDoofus asking to get together with me ASAP.  I have not responded yet.

Bones

[Certain Hope]

I just got ANOTHER e-mail from NDoofus asking to get together with me ASAP.  I have not responded yet.

Bones

An alternate translation of ASAP = As Soon As you Please 

(((((((Bones)))))))

[BonesMS]

I just got ANOTHER e-mail from NDoofus asking to get together with me ASAP.  I have not responded yet.

Bones

An alternate translation of ASAP = As Soon As you Please 

(((((((Bones)))))))

   Thanks!!!!!   

Bones

[Hopalong]

Hi Bones,
I just read your account of your mother's monstrous behavior, and her beatings.

I think she enjoyed it.

I think she did too.

 

I am so sorry.
I'm glad you're sharing those horrible memories and I hope you'll wind up empty of her.

You did not deserve such cruelty. EVER. In any way.

love
Hops