Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

[BonesMS]

I think that the bottom line is that I just don't like bureaucrats!

Bones

[BonesMS]

Especially bureaucrats who use and abuse people who don't have the same power advantage as they do!   

Bones

[BonesMS]

Occasionally, when a memory comes up, a flash of insight will follow...especially now that I am understanding Narcissism and its ramifications.

One memory that came up was regarding NDoofus and one of her multiple whining sessions.  (She's no longer in my social circle, thank God!)  She was whining that one of her sisters DARED TO REFUSE her ROYAL COMMAND to IMMEDIATELY DROP EVERYTHING AND GO SHOPPING WITH HER ROYAL PERSON!  The reason this sister said "NO"...........?  It just so happened that this sister already had an appointment, at that time, with her child's teacher for a parent-teacher conference concerning her child's educational needs.  This sister had the AUDACITY to tell QUEEN NDOOFUS that her child's needs were more important than going shopping with HER ROYAL SELF!!!!!  One of NDoofus' comments was most telling:

"WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT KID?!?!?!?  I WAS HERE F-I-R-S-T!!!!!"  

Is THAT Narcissistic or what?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Bones

[BonesMS]

Another thought that just came to mind regarding how NDoofus attempted to relate to me......

She attempted to CONTROL EVERY SECOND and ASPECT of my life and DEMANDED that I INSTANTANEOUSLY DROP whatever was going on in my life, (i.e. working with an employer, having asthmatic bronchitis, dealing with a heart condition, visiting with boyfriend, working on a graduate school project, etc.), for HER ROYAL CONVENIENCE!!!!!  At one point, she attempted to use the excuse that since SHE BOUGHT ME A GIFT, (for Christmas, my birthday, housewarming, graduation, etc.) THEREFORE SHE'S ENTITLED TO.......to which I would usually respond:  "THAT DOES NOT MAGICALLY MAKE ME YOUR SLAVE!  I AM ENTITLED TO HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE OF YOUR ORBIT!!!!!!!"  

BTW, whenever anyone DARES say the word "NO" to NDoofus, she usually gives a glassy-eyed blank stare, then try to passively-aggressively FORCE you to do what SHE wants or passively-aggressively attempt to PUNISH you for DARING to cross her ROYAL SELF!  (She is no longer in my social circle.  I'm analyzing my observations now so I can recognize the warning flags quickly so I won't have to deal with an N like this again!)

Bones

[Izzy_*now*]

What is an NDoofus? Like the 'friend' after your mortar board in post #1,  2 years ago? and is she still bugging you?
How did she respond to ""THAT DOES NOT MAGICALLY MAKE ME YOUR SLAVE!  I AM ENTITLED TO HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE OF YOUR ORBIT!!!!!!!"  

Maybe she will now leave you alone?

[BonesMS]

I'm just blogging from time to time to get my thoughts down in writing and analyze things.  It may take YEARS to work through stuff as memories pop up from time to time!  Sometimes an incident that took place two years ago suddenly becomes more clear as my understanding of narcissism evolves.

Bones

[BonesMS]

I'm still analyzing the types of N's that I've encountered so I can learn how to avoid entrapment the next time I encounter another N.  I'm painfully cognizant of the narcissistic rage-aholic given that NWomb-Donor often flew into narcissistic rages...often without ANY warning or logical reason!  During the past 40+plus years, I've learned about passive-aggressive manipulative Narcissists.  And then there are Narcissists who attempt to use religion as their weapon of choice to attempt to FORCE you to bend to THEIR demands, no matter how OUTRAGEOUS those demands are!!!!

Bones

[BonesMS]

Examples of Narcissistic Rage-aholicism:

BEATING the cr*p out of you for peeling an onion WRONG (while IGNORING the fact that she NEVER BOTHERED to teach you in the FIRST place and DEMANDING that you LEARN IT PERFECTLY THE FIRST TIME THROUGH OSMOSIS!)

BEATING the cr*p out of NGCB because he DARED to tell her he was moving in with a roommate after graduating from high school!

Bones

[Ami]

Did you literally get beaten up, Bones?                  Ami

[BonesMS]

Did you literally get beaten up, Bones?                  Ami

Yes.

Why did you ask the question like that?

Bones

[Ami]

It was NOT to debate you at all or question your validity. It is just so hard for me to picture physical abuse cuz I didn't have it. I was just trying to understand it better. Sorry if my question seemed offensive or insensitive. I think you know me enough by now to know it was not meant in that way and I am glad you questioned me.
                    Ami
 

[BonesMS]

It was NOT to debate you at all or question your validity. It is just so hard for me to picture physical abuse cuz I didn't have it. I was just trying to understand it better. Sorry if my question seemed offensive or insensitive. I think you know me enough by now to know it was not meant in that way and I am glad you questioned me.
                    Ami
 

Thank you.

I need to get across that NWomb-Donor was a VIOLENT Rage-aholic who BEAT both me and NGCB with ANYTHING she could get her hands on!!!!  And OFTEN there was ABSOLUTELY NO LOGICAL REASON for her RAGE at us!

Bones

[Ami]

I respect you so much for going through ALL that and being a decent ,compassionate, insightful, intelligent and kind person!      Ami

[BonesMS]

I respect you so much for going through ALL that and being a decent ,compassionate, insightful, intelligent and kind person!      Ami

Thanks, Ami.

Bones

[rugrats5]

Bones,
         Congrats on your graduation and sorry to hear that you had to deal with a "friend" that tried to cause you grief but you triumphed and came through...you have had a lot to deal with in life with your Nrageolic mother. I didsn't get physically beat..I got the emotional abuse if I didnt drop what I was doing or if I did something and it wasnt to her liking I had to repeat it because It wasnt good enought the first time around. I would tell her everyone does stuff differently, but she didnt care to hear. The only physical stuff was her pulling my hair or digging her nails into me or her slapping me in the face...my step dad was the one who got physical with me..he would hit me and knock me to the ground like we were wrestling and it was a struggle to get awway from him. I admire you BNones when I read your posts...I really wish I could get out the anger that I have for my mom but I eventually end up feeling gulity for being angry with her that maybe she will change,ha ha like that will happen, but I am getting to the point I know she is who she is but I don't know how to get angry with her...when I type to you and the other ladies I feel the tension in my stoamch and the anger but that is about as far as it goes and then I quit for some reason. My therapist asks"what do you think is the worst think that would happen if you got angry with her?" I am trying to deal with this and hopefully as I continue on this site It will help me. I haven been on that much because we just moved to a new home, and we finally got internet but I haven had the time to get on that much, and now my computer is acting up..so I am at my mother in laws right now,