Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

[BonesMS]

I think my PTSD got set off again.  One of my friends on FB sent around a video announcing:  "Let's shame this woman for refusing to honor the person who gave birth to her!"  Yeah....I went off!!!

Ah Bones, sorry to read that, one of the things that made me stop using Facebook was other people's lack of empathy and caring; people do send out all sorts of crap with no thought for friends it might upset, for whatever reason.  I hate all this online shaming crap that goes on, it's so damaging and in an awful lot of situations people don't know the full story and may unwittingly be supporting some kind of abusive act.  I think it's very passive aggressive behaviour to sort of call someone out in some way and then try and get loads of people to agree with it.  I'm glad you had a go about it and hope you feel a bit better soon xx

Thanks, Tupp.

[BonesMS]

https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox/06/16/fighting-does-not-go-unnoticed

The BTL Commenters are NOT happy with the Annies!  The advice columnists are really showing their special brand of STUPID!!!!

For example, when a young woman was brutally murdered, (I knew this young woman since her mother was pregnant with her), I doubt very seriously that the grieving family would stop and think to write "formal thank you notes" for food that was brought to them!  They were in SHOCK for God's Sakes!!!! 

Wow I was really suprised by that one, I've never known anyone expect a thank you card for doing something after a death occurs?!  People just pop round with stuff and leave it on the doorstep, I always thought?  It would be the other way round, surely, you writing to them to say how sorry you are and if there's anything you can do etc?  It's funny the way some people's minds work.

Yeah!  My experiences has been to send sympathy cards, bring food, sit with them, ask what can I do to help, etc.  I have NEVER expected nor demanded a "Thank You Note"!  This letter-writer who got offended because the bereaved didn't write a formal Thank-You note for the food she brought must be some kind of "special snow flake"!  With friends like her, who needs enemies?

[BonesMS]

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby

[BonesMS]

https://www.creators.com/features/annies-mailbox

[BonesMS]

https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/3rkuxx/when_mil_asked_her_6_year_oldson_to_pay_her_back/?

I wish there was the emoji for "jaw on the floor"!!  Entitled much?  SHEESH!!!!

[BonesMS]

https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/3xrh9m/you_can_have_the_baby_yourself_right/?

Just when I thought I heard it all about Narcissists and then I see THIS!!!!!!!

She didn't want "strange men" in her house (meaning the professional moving company)!  GAH!!!! 

Makes me think of NDoofus who dug in her heels when her mother's doctor told her that she needed to make arrangements because it was NO LONGER SAFE to leave her mother home alone while she was at work!  I'm sitting there looking at her, with my jaw on the floor, as she announces:  "I DON'T WANT STRANGERS IN MY HOUSE!"  The doctor repeats that it is NO LONGER SAFE to leave her mother home alone while she is at work!  Then NDoofus looks at me and says, (to me):  "You can do it!"  My response:  "No!  I'm working part-time at this point, about to go into full-time 40-hours per week, and her mother's condition has reached the point where she has to have PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED people to care for her!  I am NOT it!"  NDoofus sticks out her lip:  "But I don't want strangers in MY house!"  The doctor lists the following possible options:  (a) Visiting nurses who are PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED for situations like this, (b) Adult Day Care, (c) Nursing home that is specifically for Alzheimer's patients.  (Glenn Campbell went to one at one point.)  She starts to get all passive-aggressive and refuses to consider anything because (a) she does NOT want strangers in her house, (b) SHE does NOT like the way Adult Day Care smells, (c) SHE does NOT like the idea of nursing home facilities AT ALL!  She looks at me, AGAIN, and announces:  "YOU CAN DO IT!"  I repeat a simple sentence:  "NO!"  Her response:  "BUUUUUT.....I'll PAY you!!!!"  I repeat the same simple sentence:  "NO!"  (She HATES the word "NO" and started blathering and badgering me in the vain hope that I'll change my "NO!" to a "YES!" for HER CONVENIENCE!  (The NO! stayed NO!  I am NOT professionally trained as a nurse for situations and conditions like this!  The liabilities are too great!)  She attempts to ignore the doctor and leaves her mother home alone.  The doctor calls in Adult Protective Services and she is forced to pick a door, Door #1, Door #2, or Door #3!  NDoofus was PISSED because someone DARED say "NO!" to what SHE wanted!!!!

[BonesMS]

https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/471zv6/cram_it_janet_the_one_where_shes_suffering_from_a/?

Wait!!!!  What?!?!?!?  Oh HELL TO THE NO!!!!!!!!

[Twoapenny]

https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/3xrh9m/you_can_have_the_baby_yourself_right/?

Just when I thought I heard it all about Narcissists and then I see THIS!!!!!!!

She didn't want "strange men" in her house (meaning the professional moving company)!  GAH!!!! 

Makes me think of NDoofus who dug in her heels when her mother's doctor told her that she needed to make arrangements because it was NO LONGER SAFE to leave her mother home alone while she was at work!  I'm sitting there looking at her, with my jaw on the floor, as she announces:  "I DON'T WANT STRANGERS IN MY HOUSE!"  The doctor repeats that it is NO LONGER SAFE to leave her mother home alone while she is at work!  Then NDoofus looks at me and says, (to me):  "You can do it!"  My response:  "No!  I'm working part-time at this point, about to go into full-time 40-hours per week, and her mother's condition has reached the point where she has to have PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED people to care for her!  I am NOT it!"  NDoofus sticks out her lip:  "But I don't want strangers in MY house!"  The doctor lists the following possible options:  (a) Visiting nurses who are PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED for situations like this, (b) Adult Day Care, (c) Nursing home that is specifically for Alzheimer's patients.  (Glenn Campbell went to one at one point.)  She starts to get all passive-aggressive and refuses to consider anything because (a) she does NOT want strangers in her house, (b) SHE does NOT like the way Adult Day Care smells, (c) SHE does NOT like the idea of nursing home facilities AT ALL!  She looks at me, AGAIN, and announces:  "YOU CAN DO IT!"  I repeat a simple sentence:  "NO!"  Her response:  "BUUUUUT.....I'll PAY you!!!!"  I repeat the same simple sentence:  "NO!"  (She HATES the word "NO" and started blathering and badgering me in the vain hope that I'll change my "NO!" to a "YES!" for HER CONVENIENCE!  (The NO! stayed NO!  I am NOT professionally trained as a nurse for situations and conditions like this!  The liabilities are too great!)  She attempts to ignore the doctor and leaves her mother home alone.  The doctor calls in Adult Protective Services and she is forced to pick a door, Door #1, Door #2, or Door #3!  NDoofus was PISSED because someone DARED say "NO!" to what SHE wanted!!!!

I've found saying 'No' affected my mum so badly because there's no wriggle room.  I remember my T at the time telling me to say "I don't want to" when asked why not instead of listing my reasons as it shut down the endless arguing that usually resulted in me giving in.  Good job the doc was on side in your situation, Bones, and had lots of other options.

[BonesMS]

https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/3xrh9m/you_can_have_the_baby_yourself_right/?

Just when I thought I heard it all about Narcissists and then I see THIS!!!!!!!

She didn't want "strange men" in her house (meaning the professional moving company)!  GAH!!!! 

Makes me think of NDoofus who dug in her heels when her mother's doctor told her that she needed to make arrangements because it was NO LONGER SAFE to leave her mother home alone while she was at work!  I'm sitting there looking at her, with my jaw on the floor, as she announces:  "I DON'T WANT STRANGERS IN MY HOUSE!"  The doctor repeats that it is NO LONGER SAFE to leave her mother home alone while she is at work!  Then NDoofus looks at me and says, (to me):  "You can do it!"  My response:  "No!  I'm working part-time at this point, about to go into full-time 40-hours per week, and her mother's condition has reached the point where she has to have PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED people to care for her!  I am NOT it!"  NDoofus sticks out her lip:  "But I don't want strangers in MY house!"  The doctor lists the following possible options:  (a) Visiting nurses who are PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED for situations like this, (b) Adult Day Care, (c) Nursing home that is specifically for Alzheimer's patients.  (Glenn Campbell went to one at one point.)  She starts to get all passive-aggressive and refuses to consider anything because (a) she does NOT want strangers in her house, (b) SHE does NOT like the way Adult Day Care smells, (c) SHE does NOT like the idea of nursing home facilities AT ALL!  She looks at me, AGAIN, and announces:  "YOU CAN DO IT!"  I repeat a simple sentence:  "NO!"  Her response:  "BUUUUUT.....I'll PAY you!!!!"  I repeat the same simple sentence:  "NO!"  (She HATES the word "NO" and started blathering and badgering me in the vain hope that I'll change my "NO!" to a "YES!" for HER CONVENIENCE!  (The NO! stayed NO!  I am NOT professionally trained as a nurse for situations and conditions like this!  The liabilities are too great!)  She attempts to ignore the doctor and leaves her mother home alone.  The doctor calls in Adult Protective Services and she is forced to pick a door, Door #1, Door #2, or Door #3!  NDoofus was PISSED because someone DARED say "NO!" to what SHE wanted!!!!

I've found saying 'No' affected my mum so badly because there's no wriggle room.  I remember my T at the time telling me to say "I don't want to" when asked why not instead of listing my reasons as it shut down the endless arguing that usually resulted in me giving in.  Good job the doc was on side in your situation, Bones, and had lots of other options.

Yeah!  It was the doctor who started the conversation to begin with and NDoofus just did NOT want to accept the reality of the situation.  She HATED being forced to do what needed to be done!  It didn't stop her from continuing to harass me until I finally when NC.  She did try ONE MORE TIME, after NC, to turn up on my doorstop, until she remembered that I told her I would call the cops for trespassing, and I heard her scurrying away from my door.  Unfortunately, she left garbage behind that stunk!  That crap went to the dumpster!

[BonesMS]

https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4nv0x1/mil_in_the_wild_mother_of_the_groom/

I LOVE the way this young couple handled the BAT$HIT!

[BonesMS]

https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4nw6gy/i_want_to_murder_my_fmil/

I've seen Mama Bear in action and I've been Mama Tigress when protecting kids!

N-Idiot learned the hard way...do NOT mess with PAPA BEAR nor attack PAPA BEAR'S CUB!!

BAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[BonesMS]

https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/471zv6/cram_it_janet_the_one_where_shes_suffering_from_a/?

Wait!!!!  What?!?!?!?  Oh HELL TO THE NO!!!!!!!!

https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4nwb43/cram_it_janet_the_birthday_present_hostage_crisis/

What part of the word "NO!" does this N NOT understand?!?!?

[BonesMS]

https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4nvxsl/my_mil_tried_to_starve_me_once_or_the_tale_pf_how/

Gotta LOVE the Karma Goddess!!!!

[BonesMS]

https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4nwdyw/you_have_to_do_what_blanche_wants_on_your_birthday/

Excuse me?!?!?  You DECREE WHAT?!?!?!  Simple answer:  NO!

[BonesMS]

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html