letters

[Lupita]

Yes lighter, I have not gained weight. I am less hungry. Not exerzicing as much as I used to. Too depressed.

Thank you for asking.

[lighter]

Don't let this envelop you completely.

Stay in touch with your body and physical side....your spiritual side too. 

Dance and keep moving.... releasing endorphins and all that, lol. 

You will feel better down the road if take the time to care for yourself, Lupita.

You're worth that time and care..... don't let them depress out of your good habits, my dear!

[Lupita]

I did not go to school today. I feel extremely sick and tired and weak.
Going to the doctor.
They called me to tell me they did not have a lesson plan for me. I just pushed the botton to send lesson plan on e mail. I have prove in my computer that I sent it on time. They have to have it.
I know they will use any single little thing to damage me.
The ugliest thing is that I did not do anything wrong. nothing.

[Certain Hope]

(((((((((((Lupita))))))))))) I just read all of this and I am so sorry about your trials at this school. I have had similar while working as the secretary in a church office... and I only did it because they were desperate for help. One woman, the church organist and lead-gossip of the hens' clutch (knitting circle) did all she could to make my life miserable.
When I ask myself what did I learn from all this... well, it's this - pray for those who despitefully use you and persecute you and you will see wonderful results... within yourself, at the very least. It is most difficult... and yet most satisfying, in the end.

It's good that you're going to the doctor... maybe you need a shot of B12?  I can't eat when I am so sad and down, but I was wondering if you can drink some of that liquid Ensure? Just getting enough nutrients and vitamins into your body may make a huge change in your wellbeing right now. I am praying for you, dear Lupita.

With much love,
Carolyn

[Ami]

Dear Lupita,
 My suggestion would be to let us,on the board, help you to build up your self esteem.It would  take time and effort.However,I think that if you go step by step,you could do it.
  Love to you. I am sorry you are not feeling well, dear. This guy will reap what he sows. I know that he will.I am so sorry that he is bullying you.It is DESPICABLE.                    Love    Ami
(((((((((((((((((((Lupita))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[lighter]

I hope the doctor finds you're OK..

It's fine to take some down time but....... you have to get back in there and KNOW you're right.

They're wrong.

Don't let them break you down, Lupita.

[Lupita]

Yes, they broke my spirit. But it is good to remember that I am right and they are wrong. They are very wrong. Let us see what do they do today.
With God on my side, they might just forget that I exist.
The librarian is the same  satan. I have to smile. I have ot pretend that I am doing fine.
god will help me to survive this year, what do I say?, just to survive this day.

[Poppy Seed]

Lupita,

Just checking in again.  You are getting so much wonderful support.  I couldn't improve on it, but I wanted to let you know that you are still in my thoughts and that I am in YOUR corner!!!

Love,
Poppy

[lighter]

That secretary isn't the same as Satan.

She's a miserable unhappy person sharing her misery with other people, cause that's what they do.

It's called "transferring agression" and when she upsets you.... she feels a little better bc she transferred the yucky stuff to you.

Nice, huh?  From good church people with smiles on their faces and knives in your back.

The think to remember is..... they're just people.

Like you and me.... only they lost the battle to figure things out.

Think how messed up you'd have to be to treat people the way they do.

They're nutsy rocksy koo koo crazy, Lupita.

Imagine what their close relationships are like if that's the way they treat people in their outer circles.

They're not right, they're damaged and something inside them isn't able to figure it out.

Something inside you IS!

That's the good news.... their lives SUCK and won't be improving.

They can only impact your life as long as you allow it and when you move on..... their lives will still SUCK and yours won't so there
::sticking out tongue at doc and librarian::

[Lupita]

Today, he came again to my classroom. then a secretary came during sixth period just to bring me a note, nd then after her another teacher came to ask for a student that was not there. He is sending people to watch me. I have to be perfect in order for him not tu find something because I am a human being and sonner or later I will make a mistake. Hop that I will be alert and work hard every day. But I am getting tired. Hope that I can get another job.
I had my appointment with my ex boss and his wife. he said that of course a daily visit by Dr. U to my classroom is enough to create insecurities. But that I also have a major issue of insecurity.
He said that the church is going to pay for counseling if I pay a small part. They contacted a Christian counselor who is willing to work with me that way. That is a good thing.
But, I am very tired. He said that he does not think he is going to stay because he lacks liedership abilities. I told him that I wish I had a more compassionate boss.
I am sick, depressed, and lonely.
Love to you all.

[Lupita]

Thank you friends for keep writing. I felt I wanted to die. Last night. Now, do not take me wrong. I am not suicidal, never. Just feel that I do not want to live if I have to fight all the time against so many obstacles that do not let me breath. I cannot even find a job with peace not even in a christian shool. I do not want to be this way. I need a ob where I can work in peace. I am tired of being pray. I want to allow the monster to eat me so the pain is over.

[Ami]

Dear Lupita,
  It is not your fault that you have so many troubles. You were programmed with the most horrible tapes(inside your head)
  I am so so sorry that you are suffering so.I feel horrible to see it.
   I wish that God would send you a really strong person to help you. That boss is so pitiful. I am so,very sorry.Lupita.
                                                                                                                Love to you Lupita ,    Ami

(((((((((((((Lupita))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))0

[changing]

Hi Lupita-

I am so sad to read about what you are going through, and the toll it is taking. I know that you are tired and weak, but if you can take a small walk each day, you will help to rid your body of nasty inflammation and cortisol from stress. Also, drink your water, eat whole grains, and SLEEP! Sleep will remove even more cortisol and inflammation, and provide mental and physical healing, so you can rise up to prevail another day (don't forget to keep ypur logs up to date). Keep your spirits and health up, dear!!!It's up to you. Do you have a yoga studio nearby? The stretching and meditation would really help keep you relaxed, focused and centered.
Lupe, when you wake up, pray for help and strength, and you will get through the day. You have done so very much so well up to this point, I'm betting on you to come out as the WINNER!!! Put on some soothing music before you go to sleep, and visualize your victory! You can handle those bird-brains ! Just remember who you are, and what your goals are, and keep control of your own thoughts- be happy when you can, and don't let those vultures take over your life or run your agenda. Bide your time, be content inside of yourself, and VOILA! You will be on to a more satisfying phase of life, on your terms.

Much Love and Best Wishes From Your Friend.
Lupita, You Can Make it!

Changing

[Iphi]

Dear Lupita - I think Dr. U is envious of you and that is why he wants to undermine you and make you go away.  He probably wishes he was a real doctor like you are.  You are just way more than him.

Here is a phrase to keep in mind (I guess it is a kind of made-up latin): 

illegitimis non carborundum.

It means: don't let the bastards grind you down.

What happened to you started to happen to me on my last job and I left when I found another one.  I know you will find another one too.  Are you looking outside education?  You are qualified to work in pharmaceutical manufacturing and/or clinical testing....

[Hopalong]

Hi, Lup...
I think it's great they're going to provide you some counseling.
You need a safe place to go for comfort and to be heard
in real life too.

Everything Changing said was so dazzlingly full of love and grace
and insight...

So I will just say, ditto.

love
Hops