Freedom eh. I am Canadian you see.
Boy that is sure a good idea. Keep the government out of the freedom of the people. The more I read about narcissim and sociopahts, the more I see that they are gravitating toward administrative postiitions in government and in corporations. This is a major lemon suck.
OHHHHH
HOps I love Love love your description of your creation. I am so pleased that you are spending time in just creating beauty and not out there madly trying to justify your existence with good works. I have restrained myself from doing so many good works. I began to see it as a kind of insipid and not all that helathy
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I have been reinventing myself for the last few months. I really had to drag myself up by the hair, turn myslef inside out and look at myself and my life through new eyes. I admitted that my life was unmanageable. I was so unhappy and broken. The dark night of my soul was poured onto this website. Thank god you were there.
So one thing I did was to start a group for creative people. Sort of a salon. I love the art of conversation and I love drawing,painting, making stuff.
I made myself go out and do things much against my nature which is to stay home with the cat and read a good book and poke at the fire.
Anyway, today was one of the meetings .
One woman writes plays and said she has seen angels. Her daughter came and iis working on a big painting with the theme "What lies beneath"
One woman is a wonderful bellydancer ( Not pornographic but just beautiful dancing) She is drawing stuffed creatures. She really likes the saries and she now has two of my collection.
There is an Irish woman who used to work in the movies as a costume designer. She is Irish and no one can say her name. We all try but never get it right.
Today we all drew a suffed elephant with our left hands. They were so wonderful that I asked them to give me the drawings and I will get them framed.
As they were drawing I read to them a meditation on The Temple of Healing.
So after a year of bone chilling loneliness and isolation I have not shrivelled up but have found my pod. Laughing friends . we are all glad we found each other and it is sort of miraculous in this mill town where it rains way too much.
I never had good news before. Now I pray and I give it up to God and I try to remember to be grateful.
Last year I was seriously depressed and suicidal. I just couldnt shake those intrusive thoughts of hopelessness. Brick by brick I rebuilt my life. Now I am back at work and will be starting to work four days instead of three days.
What happened? I was crushed by a Narcissistic Boss and a Narcissistic partner. I have surprised myself with my resiliency. I thought the pain would kill me.
I will never forget the solace and kindness of people at Voicelessness.
For those who are beginning the journey of separating from A Nrcissist I know how hard that is. There is so much written on who THEY are but not much on what happens to their targets or victims. Now I believe that no one deserves to be gaslighted, slandered, lied to, swindled, belittled and enslaved by these people anymore than one would desreve to be run over by a truck.
I had to make the choice to let the wouned part of myself stop making decisions about how I was going to choose to live my life. She is still there but she is healing now. I love to sleep when I want, eat 10 Japanese oranges for dinner. get a Kitty at the SpCA, drink tea and watch old movies and I enjoy being alive. That is a miracle.
I feel such love and tenderness for the friends who helped me find my voice here.
Sea storm
