Outgrowing the board?

[tayana]

I have been reading less and less on the board, and I've been wondering when do we outgrow the need for the board?  I'm not sure what the answer is, but I think I'm getting to this point.  I know the board will be here if I need it.  In the past year I have:

* Moved out of my parents house
* Established a home of my own in the face of overwhelming opposition
* Went no contact with my mother and proved to her and myself I could live without her
* Established limited contact with my parents
* Learned to build up a wall between me and her, so even when she tells me something looks like Sh** in my home, it doesn't bother me.
* Made a plan for my financial future and started carrying it through.
* Tried my hand at a dating service.  I might have met someone I like.
* Joined a support group for single parents.
* Established good rapport with my son's teacher so that his needs are being met.

I do have a big blow coming up because M's best friend is moving away.  He's very upset about that.

Even with the challenges I know are going to come up, I think I'm successfully on my way to being able to handle them.  I appreciate the support I've found here, and I may be around some to check on those I feel close to, but I won't be posting very often.

Thanks so much.

[Izzy_*now*]

hi tayana

I was missing you and wondering

Well you have accomplished a lot, and I can see your point. Good for you!!!!!

At this point it sounds like you have 'outgrown the board', but I'm sure, along with me, the others would like to hear from you time and again to post an Update----that all is well.

My very Best wishes for happiness and success for you and M.
Izzy

[tayana]

Thanks Izzy.  Like I said, I may pop in from time to time to post an update or ask some advice, but I won't be around regularly anymore.

[lighter]

Well... I was wondering where you were.

Glad it's a good place.

Pleaes check in and let us know how you're doing.

ps, I think that was the first time you listed your accomplishments.

An amazing list, huh, lol?

[Leah]

Sincerely, every happiness to you Tayana

You have worked hard and achieved so much through applied diligence and determination.

"Well Done" and "Congratulations"

Love and every good wish to you and M

Leah

PS >  Thank you so much for your insightful postings and resource website links, which have been of immense value.

[Bella_French]

Tayana,

Those are wondrous accomplishments- congratulations to you!! I think I can relate to your thoughts too.

I've been a member of different  `recovery and self help' type forums since 1996, so with that kind of history I'm not sure I'll ever outgrow them. I have long breaks, sometimes spanning many months or more, and I sometimes feel better when I stop focusing on recovery for a while and just live my life. I always come back though, with new experiences and a slightly different focus with regards to my recovery.

I am actually a  member of a lot of `specific interest' type of forums too, and while I do enjoy chatting to other members, they often  inevitably lack the depth and kinder language that I find on recovery forums.

Have you ever tried joining in on a music discussion type forum? Its harsh!!! Every second avatar is a semi-naked girl or a sexual reference of some kind. And the language is rude, sarcastic, egotistical, and deliberately triggering. I've also tried joining in on a `relationship' type of forum, thinking that it might be good to associate with people who are upbeat and not necessarily recovering from abuse. But again, the members i really liked all turned out to be recovering from N-abuse. I found many of the other members shallow, obtuse, and very rude. The politics there were WAY more complex, badly handled,  and mean than anything I've seen flare up here.

Honestly, this is nicest forum I've come across in many years. Its nice having the focus on `voicelessness' rather than N-abuse. Its not as `depressing' for lack of a better word. This community is a good one, and I personally feel like I'll be an active  member on and off for a long time.

Not sure if any of that would help you to make your decision though. I do think that if you need a break, just to live life and chill out, I would understand for sure.

X bella

 

[Certain Hope]

Dear Tayana,

You've accomplished so very much... I just want to wish the very best and brightest future to you and your son, and my hopes that your lives will be filled with joy and peace.

With love,
Carolyn

[Hopalong]

BRAVO, Tay!

I am so glad for you.

Please update now and then.

lots of love to you and M and whoever (?) 

Enjoy, brave woman.

love,
Hops

[changing]

Tayana-

I am so very proud of you! Thank you for sharing your success and for your insight and courage. Love to you and M!

Best Wishes for Your Happy New Life!

Changing

[whymeagain]

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am quite new here Tayana, but I hope that I will be able to just as you make such a list of accomplishments. I wish you all the best on your New Year Of Change! That is what I have chosen to call this year for myself. It seems as though last year was yours. Thank You for sharing your list, it gives me such hope that I have found the right place to grow and achieve the things that I need too as well. CONGRATULATIONS! Do we give diploma's here? If so, sounds as though you deserve one!

[changing]

Hoppy-

I know that you have been busy, as well as preoccupied with meeting darling men/ future possible husbands! Hope all is well and you are having fun - you deserve it so much!!!!

Love,

Changing

[Gaining Strength]

I will especially miss you.  It was so helpful to have someone to talk to another mother who was raising a loveable and wildly difficult son  on her own.  I will truly miss having that contact with you.

I am so glad you are doing well and have made such tremendous progress in such a short time.  Way to go Girl!!!

[Hopalong]

((((((((((Changing))))))))))))

I love you for your eternal welcome and kindness.

I am slogging a little bit, so far this week. Some $ worry.
Also battening down the internal hatches as brother's coming.
But I'll weather it.

My D is doing well, much excitement w/each new day.
My mother sags in her chair, placable. Her care costs are mounting.
No time for men, darn it. But I do hope that changes.

And I hope you and Sammy and Newcat are snuggled and
feeling peace tonight.

love
Hops

[teartracks]

Tay,

Something about your announcement reminds me of attending your first child's graduation.  I'm happy for you.   

tt

 

[Overcomer]

Tay- I first joined this board in 2004.  I have ebbed and flowed in and out.  When I hit a wall I come back.  When I am doing great and am busy I do not come.  Have a good hiatus!  Come back some time.