Hi Flower and all:
Boy, can I relate to much in this thread. I like the "web" description too and know many of the sticky parts of it (since I've been caught so many times).
Well, to be honest, that paralyzing fear thing is more of an agrivation than anything, in my case. It doesn't happen very often at all now but it still is annoying when it does happen. I think: "After all of this time, you'd think this would quit", when this happens and: "Eventually, it will stop".
Fear is an emotion n people seem to get such satisfaction out of instilling in others (or a buzz from doing so, I don't know). My deduction is that it is where the "paranoia" comes from. Somehow, they were soaked in fear (or are soaked in fear) and they just push it onto others, almost because they seem to need to have company in their own fear. Putting fear in others gives such power, makes us similar to them, if we accept it, or dive into it (the great pool of fear!).
Those who do this fear-injecting, may not seem as if they are full of fear themselves, but I haven't met one yet that isn't. The thing they are most afraid of, is the truth. The truth about their own behaviour, the truth about what they are imposing on others, the truth about their "sickness"---These things are terrifying for them to face up to. People who do this have the lowest of self-esteem and just strike out relentlessly, as if to say:
"I can't stand myself, I'm afraid of what I am, therefore, I'm giving you some of what I don't want -here you take it."
Here, again, compassion can actually help us to see the real picture. Rejecting the fear that they are trying to force is the best protection from that paranoia that evolves into bigger and better things. This will occur after enough fear is given to us over a long enough time.
Recognizing that the whole fear thing revolves around them getting power and pushing part of themselves, part they really don't like, away, is the key to helping us decide not to accept that from them.
As children, we had no way of knowing all of this and even as adults, that fear can be infused incidiously, sometimes without our awareness.
The real paralyzing fear from trauma, well that's our memory trying to tell us that our perpetrators were effective in their objective. The thoughts we have after such recall can help us reduce the incidence of recall.
Just some of my thoughts on it.
(((((((((((Flower))))))))))))