Author Topic: My Truth  (Read 93986 times)

Meh

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Summary of the Guy, gonna delete prior rants
« Reply #600 on: October 04, 2009, 03:22:20 PM »
Pancakes, Pic-nics and Lies
Homemade meals, homemade cozy knits, homemade, my hands
Music, fantasies, space
One eye closed, one eye open
Make a button hole, rip out a button hole, heart open, close, open, close
Paranoia, hopeful ideas
Aloneness

Meh

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Re: My Truth
« Reply #601 on: October 04, 2009, 03:24:17 PM »
Kid stuff is so much fun. I remember I always wanted a doll house like the one in a quaint store in Hingham Mass. I would  look at the doll house even when I was in high school and dream about having a house like that.  Now, I live in a house as pretty as the doll house and I am numb,most of the time. I wander around and it doesn't even feel like it is mine.

Yeah, stuff and money are important resources but they don't feed our souls.

Ami

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Re: My Truth
« Reply #602 on: October 04, 2009, 03:25:30 PM »
Kid stuff is so much fun. I remember I always wanted a doll house like the one in a quaint store in Hingham Mass. I would  look at the doll house even when I was in high school and dream about having a house like that.  Now, I live in a house as pretty as the doll house and I am numb,most of the time. I wander around and it doesn't even feel like it is mine.

Yeah, stuff and money are important resources but they don't feed our souls.

Yeah   ---Soul food !                     
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Meh

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Re: My Truth
« Reply #603 on: October 04, 2009, 03:35:57 PM »
These MEN are now unloading the pumpkins on the bottom of the truck, these big heavy pumpkins, these guys are strong. Some of the pumpkins are the size of watermelons. It's riveting, it is captivating. Ha Ha. I need to stop staring, I mean, some part of me is over there hanging onto the truck and drooling, saying in a lilting voice "Oh take me to your leader"!

When I was a little kid I thought I would grow up to own and live on a pumpkin farm. I should go find some construction workers to stare at.

Oh, darn the last pumpkin has been tossed.

Meh

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Re: My Truth
« Reply #604 on: October 04, 2009, 03:50:48 PM »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-ZTtspIOy4&feature=fvw

I want this, this feeling that is embodied in this Marvin Gaye song.

Ami

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Re: My Truth
« Reply #605 on: October 06, 2009, 09:25:01 AM »
Hi Helen
 How is your sweet self doing today?                                              Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Meh

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My Sweet Self Is plotting anticlimactic Knitting
« Reply #606 on: October 06, 2009, 05:35:54 PM »
Hi Helen
 How is your sweet self doing today?                                              Ami

My Sweet Self Is plotting anticlimactic Knitting, I just pictured myself knitting a GUY, like a blow-up doll but instead knitted out of yarn.

I'm not really going to make one I swear.

I almost fell asleep in a pile of yarn balls I put out on my bed in an attempt to categorize and prioritize and plan the use of my color-addiction. I buy them, start them, and then can't remember what I was doing. I'm not big on the finish part of the project, it's rather anticlimactic.

Some women collect lip gloss or pocket books. My thing is yarn.

I was tired, leaned back into the pile and then I pretty much fantasized that I was not sleeping with yarn.

That is about it. I noticed my emotional turmoil last night and how it plays out in my knitting even. I realized like I have so many times before that sometimes I just need to set my feelings aside and get to work. To stop the agony and plot, decide, pick, plan, do. Do.
Like the slogan "Just Do It".  With making stuff there are infinite options and possibilities, some part of my mind wants to conceive of each one of these and find the best one. At least I have the sense to stop this at some point. I decided on a hat and gloves with variegated brown stripes alternating with black.



« Last Edit: October 06, 2009, 05:39:25 PM by Helen »

Ami

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Re: My Truth
« Reply #607 on: October 08, 2009, 08:48:50 AM »
Hi Helen
 How goes it?                                 Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

sKePTiKal

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Re: My Truth
« Reply #608 on: October 14, 2009, 02:55:01 PM »
Is there anybody out there? Just nod if you can hear me...
is everything all right?

Just wondering how you're doing these days...
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

Meh

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Nod Nod Nod
« Reply #609 on: October 16, 2009, 02:52:11 PM »
Yep, I'm OK.

I'm sort of out here, minimally.

Hope everything is well with you.

Fall has officially come to my city and I am retreating from everything even myself. It is dropping chunks of rain outside and I want to knit. Not really cus that would require me to calculate, figure, fuss and rip. It's gonna drop these popcorn size raindrops all day.

Well I also stopped the antidepressants again. Possibly I have an overall poverty of thought sans drugs. Don't know.
I suppose if I'm not paining (I mean painting, that is a funny typo)then I'm writing or exercising or if not that then knitting.

My voice doesn't seem to give a crap about itself at the moment. Maybe it is fine for my voice to hibernate. Maybe everything hibernates in winter.

I think with writing so much, I'm starting to think maybe too self absorbed.

Gonna go now, get so soft, warm fuzzy stuff. Water repellant soft warm fuzzy stuffy.

Did you ever notice how wool hairs actually make water droplets sit on top of them? Like dew that is just hovering above the skin.

Peace Y'all.

I just want to go back to sleep but I don't really want to. I want to go out and hike near the ocean on some section of the globe that is not gray-wet.

Ok, the day is passing me by, I get more coffee, and I GO GO GO GO.

P.S. I purchased some fresh-a-licious CRANBERRIES Yeah Yeah Yeah. Last night and boiled them up in sugar. Oh god, I love this fall food. I ate spoonfulls of it along with red wine for dinner.

I always thought of myself as feministic growing up but I would like someone to cook for, but seeing that written out I don't like that statement.

GO WOOL GO WOolllll  ewe... bahaaa bahaaa....

Ha Ha.   I'm ok.

Sending peace love and fuzzy warmy stoffy puff pouf things
« Last Edit: October 16, 2009, 02:59:40 PM by Helen »

Ami

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Re: My Truth
« Reply #610 on: October 16, 2009, 03:33:35 PM »
Hi (((Helen))))                                xxoo   Ami
 


No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

sKePTiKal

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Re: My Truth
« Reply #611 on: October 19, 2009, 07:43:02 AM »
Yeah, I do the hibernation thing, too... usually spring and fall...
I think it's how my whole being adjusts to the changes in light, temps, and all the environmental changes of the changing seasons. If I just give in to it for a day or two... it seems that the adjustment gets made drifting in/out of awakeness, snuggled up in my down blanket... without me "doing" anything, "curing" it, or even feeling out of sync with everyone else.

It's only when I push on, in spite of the need to adjust, that I do myself no favors and create "problems".

Hey, I was fascinated with the image of a bed full of yarn - all different colors. I wonder if you could do something with it other than knitting? Weaving, or something else? It sounded like the times I sit in the midst of fresh white paper or canvas... with brand-new brushes & colors... as if one is listening to the "qualities" of the materials themselves to tell one what they want to become. Or the smell, feel, and sense of unrolling a bolt of beautiful fabric... before laying out the pattern pieces and cutting into it.

There's just something wonderful about the "potential" and "possibilities" in that moment, you know?
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

Ami

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Re: My Truth
« Reply #612 on: October 20, 2009, 08:50:30 AM »
Just wanting you to know that I miss your presence (((Helen))).                                         Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Meh

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Female emotions
« Reply #613 on: November 07, 2009, 04:30:06 PM »
In the dating “Game”:

Somehow women’s emotions conveniently become trivialized, minimized, downplayed.

I am told somehow by some invisible but powerful social standard, humorous flippant comments and ignorings that my internal experience, my felt experience in my body, in my heart, and how these impact my daily life, my decisions and my mind are fleeting and moody and not real and have zero social value. That there is silliness in female emotions that they are caused by nothing, are unreliable, unpredictable. Like weather without a weatherman, no Doppler radar. Social standards tell me that if someone hurts me emotionally it is inconsequential because it is immature to have feelings, and after all they are passing nothings. It’s ok for women’s emotions to be ignored. Yet if we don’t hand over our bodies we are “bitches”.

I haven’t written in a while but I’m glad for this little blurb I’m compelled to put down, it brings something together for me.
 



sKePTiKal

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Re: My Truth
« Reply #614 on: November 08, 2009, 10:49:32 AM »
Quote
It’s ok for women’s emotions to be ignored. Yet if we don’t hand over our bodies we are “bitches”.

Yeah... and I though perhaps Women's Lib would've wiped out this double standard... but truly, it hasn't. The only offering I have, is that the above are still the "old" rules... and it's absolutely not necessary to recognize, tolerate, or judge ourselves by those rules - regardless of the silent "society" that still (unconsciously? I wonder) imposes those archaic rules. Oddly, I've found it's women who seem loathe to let them go, more than men. Not completely; I have a couple ex-husbands and lots more male ex-bosses as perfect examples of those who ignore, dismiss, discount, and minimized my emotions.... telling me I'm being "irrational". (AS IF... emotions are rational things.... that whole idea is based on a false premise, you know?)

Success is never final, failure is never fatal.