The "Mama Never Told Me" Thread

[sKePTiKal]

OK - my eyeliner question: does a brush help get a cleaner line than the pencils? Is there some trick to applying this? Are there some eye shapes where liner is just "too much"... or doesn't work... or worse, looks like clown makeup? I have what's called "hooded eyelids" - the upper portion between lid & brow overlaps the lid itself - so there's hardly room to even put shadow. I been thinkin' that just mascara & liner would be enough, since I don't wear any foundation - just tinted moisturizer & some blush - anyway.

[nolongeraslave]

Phoenix-I never heard of there being such an eye where eye makeup looks bad. I'm confused at what you mean by an eyeliner brush?  Are you talking about liquid eyeliner?

I'm also confused at the car post, but thanks. I don't need a car now, but it's good to know if I need to buy one again in the future. When it comes to used cars, how do you know you're not being sold a piece of junk? Do you buy the car and then have a mechanic look at it? Or do you get a mechanic to look at it before you buy the car?  Can you even return the car if the mechanic finds something wrong with it?

[Hopalong]

this one!

you get a mechanic to look at it before you buy the car

You also:
-- order a Carfax report on that vehicle (if from an individual...most dealers today will give you the Carfax if you ask)
--go to www.kellybluebook.com and enter all the info you have
--base your offer on that price.

Also, especially--read Consumer Reports' Used Cars to Buy and Used Cars to Avoid latest.

With all this info, you can make a solid choice.

Hops

[nolongeraslave]

So, you ask the mechanic to come at the car dealership to look at the car? Wouldn't that be weird?

How likely are you able to make car monthly payments at 100 dollar or so? My cars have been a good $230 a month. 

A long time ago, I tried to buy my own car because I was mad that the car I was driving was in my parents' name.  My parents refused to take their name off of it and put it in mine (I was driving this car in a different state that they live in).  The car salesman definitely thought I was naive and eager to get commission, but I didn't follow through on anything.

In the end, I finally got my parents' car in my name...which took MONTHS, but it finally happened. 

[Hopalong]

Yes, you tell a dealer you want to take it to an independent mechanic, and they let you take it off the lot for a few hours.
If you buy a dealer-certified used vehicle, though, the independent mechanic's check isn't as critical.

The best price is what you get from a private seller and in those cases it is critical to have a mechanic go over it carefully.
And then use that information, balanced with the KellyBlueBook value, to offer the price you'll pay.

In my case, I've been lucky. Two years ago I had to sell my nice newish car (it was used but lovely, an Accord) to pay the lawyer. i was in dire need of a cheap car. A friend had an aging but high-end minivan he offered, and I bought it from him at $1800. I've had no problems with it and have taken it on a few trips. It's silly (imagine long white=haired "soccer mom") but it's very comfortable.,

Financially, the very very best way to buy a car, especially if you have some time to plan for it, is to save very aggressively and buy it for cash. No car payment at all...

Hops

[nolongeraslave]

Yes, you tell a dealer you want to take it to an independent mechanic, and they let you take it off the lot for a few hours.
If you buy a dealer-certified used vehicle, though, the independent mechanic's check isn't as critical.

The best price is what you get from a private seller and in those cases it is critical to have a mechanic go over it carefully.
And then use that information, balanced with the KellyBlueBook value, to offer the price you'll pay.

In my case, I've been lucky. Two years ago I had to sell my nice newish car (it was used but lovely, an Accord) to pay the lawyer. i was in dire need of a cheap car. A friend had an aging but high-end minivan he offered, and I bought it from him at $1800. I've had no problems with it and have taken it on a few trips. It's silly (imagine long white=haired "soccer mom") but it's very comfortable.,

Financially, the very very best way to buy a car, especially if you have some time to plan for it, is to save very aggressively and buy it for cash. No car payment at all...

Hops

How long have you had the car?  I drive my cars a LOT from work to the city to see friends. Luckily, this car of mine is paid off now...but in the future, you never know.

Thanks a bunch of the information Hopalong.  I think we learn much more when put ourselves out there and risk looking like we don't it all.   The car salesman a few years ago even asked me "Are you sure you want to buy your own car? Your parents are paying for this one." 

[sKePTiKal]

Hi NLS...

Well, you know how an eye socket is a concave depression in a face? From the brow, to the crease in the lid... and then it curves back out to the eye and the cheek below? Right at the crease in my eyelid.. there is a saggy bump that droops; it's most obvious at the outside of my eye. Looks like my upper lid is swollen or something. It sticks out rather than curves back in & then up to the brow. It's always been this way - it's not a product of aging. Not quite like a neanderthal forehead - it's just the flesh there - like my skull's eyesockets are too small to support that much flesh & skin.

Liquid eyeliner I haven't tried yet. I'm not overly confident that I can see what I'm doing well enough (this year I broke down and bought a magnifying mirror) nor that my hand won't shake & I'll end up poking myself in the eye. I don't know whether I should try to apply it with my eye open... or closed... or stretch it down a little with the other hand?? I used to be pretty good with a brush & linework... on a flat surface.

I was talking about applying powdered eyeliner with a brush; it gives a softer line I think? And then there are pencils... but the pencils are too hard to leave a mark on me; like the difference between a #2 pencil lead and a soft pastel or charcoal pencil.

It's funny; I feel like this isn't all that important! I really don't wear makeup that much - because I don't dress up that much. And it seems way silly to put makeup on to say... rake leaves or scrub floors. If I'm going out on the water or to the beach... why wear makeup? If I'm just running to the grocery store... or the post office... or playing with boys, with their boy-toys... makeup just doesn't "count" as being important.

On the other hand, I'm another 300 miles south... and I've been noticing that women here have DO have makeup on daily - even for doing chores. It's a cultural thing... and a women's social thing... that is foreign to me. I completely don't understand the women who can't be "seen" - even by husbands - without their "face" on. I'm trying to understand... I'm trying it all out to see if it fits me because I finally have time to practice - experiment - that I didn't have before. It's more for that stifled fashionista that got re-directed into other things at 13 and never had the chance to hang out with girlfriends, and make each other up. It's a side of me that got locked up and not indulged... because she was supposed to be "bad" for caring about things like that, according to the usual suspect.

[Hopalong]

Hi NLAS...
I've had it for 2 years; it has 181,000 miles on it...it was very consistently maintained before
I got it and he gave me all the records.

I drive about 12 miles a day, average.
Highway mileage is less wear on a car than commuting or going around town, though.

Hops

[Redhead Erin]

Phoenix--

About the eye makeup.  You are probably about my age--40 or so, right?  

First, you need a moisturizer whit sunscreen.  The higher SPF the better. Put it on and let is settle in f r at least 10 minutes.

You want to start with a base like this one.  Put it on your eyelid and pat it in with your pinkie finger. http://www.drugstore.com/search/search_results.asp?N=0&Ntx=mode%2Bmatchallpartial&Ntk=All&srchtree=5&Ntt=loreal+decrease&Go.x=0&Go.y=0

Then you will need a concealer like this one--light weight, liquid.  It will come in a little tube, and the lid will screw off and there will be a long stem with a sponge on it, inside the tube. choose a color that is just barely lighter than your skin.  No too much, or you will look like a reverse raccoon. Put it under your eyses and in that dark shadowy place between your eye and nose.  Pat it in with your pinkie and blend carefully.  http://www.drugstore.com/maybelline-fit-me-concealer-makeup-medium-25/qxp339106?catid=183547&fromsrch=consealor

Then Put your powder on.  

For eye shadow, the name if the game is to bring light into you eyes.  Start with a simple pre-mixed color pallate, like this one: http://www.drugstore.com/physicians-formula-eyebrightener-multi-colored-eyelighter-hint-of-berries-2770/qxp198590?catid=183538&fromsrch=physicain+formula+mineral+eye+shadow.
Throw out the stupid little brush they give you and get one that is about 1/2 inch wide, round, with a dome-shaped tip. You can get one at the art supply store, or try this: http://www.drugstore.com/covergirl-make-up-masters-eyeshadow-brush/qxp18968?catid=183638&fromsrch=eye+shadow+brush.

Load up the brush with eye shadow and then hold it with the bristles pointing up, and dab it over the lid and brow bone area, working form the outside corners to the inside.  You want to get just some subtle shading that is darker on the outside corners. When you get used to the one color, you can add a highlight and a contour.

Now abut that eyeliner: Whether you choose a liquid, a pencil, or some other form depends on the look you want.  I like to use a liquid because it gives a very definite line, and you can make it very fine or build it up very wide, depending on your taste. This picture is one where I used the technique I am explaining now, with a bronze shadow and a heavy liquid line http://photos.modelmayhem.com/photos/110915/14/4e726e74d7735.jpg

Pencil is easier to use, but you have to invest in a good one.  The cheap ones are too hard.  Loreal is a good brand. Some pencils are self-sahrpening and osme are wood, which you have to sharpen.  If you get the wood one, also get a sharpener.  You can adjust whether you get a fine line or a thicker one by how wide you keep your tip.  You can also choose to put liner on just your top lid, or on both.  

To put the liner on, look straight at the mirror.  Tilt your head back and close your eye about half way.  (Think Maralyn Monroe).  Then pull slightly on the corner of the lid, until all the little creases are out.  Apply the liner from the inside corner to the outside.  Get it as close to the lash line as you can. If you want to put a little under the lower lashes, start at the outside and work in.  In this picture, I used a grey pencil on the top lids and very lightly on the lower ones, from the outside corner to about halfway in.  If you look closely, you can see where it stops. http://photos.modelmayhem.com/photos/110915/14/4e726c745e2c7.jpg

Now for the final step-mascara! you have to have it, or your eyes will not stand out.  There are about a million different choices, but for startes you can choose something sort of relaxed and natural.  Because our lashes tend to grow shorter as we get older, a lightening mascara is a good choice.  This one claims its safe for contact lens wearers. http://www.drugstore.com/loreal-bare-naturale-lengthening-mascara-black-800/qxp195611?catid=183541&fromsrch=loreal+mascara.  I like loreal mascaras and liners.  The only ones I like better are Avon.

So there you have a basic eyes lesson.  If your brows are light, you may want to add some pencil or my favorite trick, brown shadow applied with a slant brush.  Otherwise, add some lipstick or gloss and some blush if you want, and you are done.

With practice, you should be able to put this on in 10 minutes.

[BonesMS]

This may sound dumb but it created a LOT of problems when I was old enough to start noticing stuff......sex education.  Her Royal Queen !@#$ness REFUSED to discuss ANYTHING.  She handed me one of my late father's anthropology books and told me to read THAT!  I was no older than about eight years of age and MUCH of the scientific vocabulary in that textbook was WA-A-A-Y over my head!  When I asked what this word meant or that word meant, I was simply told to SHUT UP AND READ or called "RETARD" because I was struggling to understand a textbook that was originally written for professional anthropologists!  As a result, the "sex education" I got instead was at the hands of her pedophile boyfriend who even had the NERVE to pull some crap IN FRONT OF HER!!  All she did was laugh and egg him on, basically giving him permission to do whatever he wanted.  She never told me that I had a right to say NO as a very young child while I was being touched inappropriately.  In fact, I was beaten on for resisting and continuing to resist until I was old enough to call the cops on my own!  As far as she was concerned, I was nothing but HER PROPERTY to be USED for her self-gratification!

Hell of a way to get educated!

Bones

[sKePTiKal]

Ha-Ha.... Erin... I WISH I was 40-ish!! Try 55. However... for whatever reason, both hubs & I look youngish for our age. In my case, I'm tall enough to carry my middle-age spread reasonably well (tho I want it gone) and the freckles just automatically remind people of a mischievious little kid.

After I replied to NLS, I experimented with liquid liner (once) and tried to take a better look at my eye lid shape. It's not as easy as it sounds to get a thin line! (even though one of things I was really good at as an artist was linework...) I only heard the "hooded eyelid" description last year, when I went to a new eye doctor for glasses. So... artists study anatomy in about as much detail as medical students. The detail I omitted in my last description is that my upper eyelid bulges & droops - so much so that in the center of my eye, the lower lid - below the crease - is covered up. My eyes weren't always this way; when I look at pictures of myself pre-trauma, the eye structure was normal... this showed up after the trauma... for whatever reason. Maybe it would have as I got older anyway and the trauma was irrelevant; so that's beside the point.

So part of the reason liner doesn't "look right" to me is that it's not a continuous line; it's interrupted by this upper eyelid. I think I'm going to have to try some trompe l'oeill - faking it - or something. Thanks for all your links!! I need all the references I can get while I think about this. I never heard of lightening mascasa - it goes on dark at the root & gets lighter at the end of the lashes? Hmm... that by itself might give me the emphasis I need at the edge of my beady little, deep set eyes. Since coloring my hair, I've lost some of the sharp contrast on my face - not a bad thing, really; I look "softer" than before. But my eyes really get lost behind glasses, which I guess is why I'm obsessing on this. That and I'm really kinda excited about having the time & permission (self) to play with "girly" things again! Thanks a LOT Erin!

[Redhead Erin]

I meant lengtheningmascara--to make your lashes longer!

Maybe you should skip the liner entirely and just use mascara, which will not be interrupted like  liner would.  You might also try to get a little depth on the outer 1/3 of the lid, by using 2 shadows--pink and rose, gold and bronze, etc.  Put the lighter one on all over then use a smaller brush (flat, 1/2 inch wide, with a rounded edge) to put the darker one on the outer 1/3 of the lid.  You can put an extra cost on the outer corner of your lashes too, to emphasize the outer corner of the eye. 

Also, if you are lacking definition in your face, try using some eyebrow pencil.  Get one that is just a little darker than your hair, and apply it in little sketch-lines from the inside of the brow out.

I should have told you, as an artist you know brushes are everything.  I use artists brushes.  The ones I like best have a clear handle and a little white rubber thing to grip them with, and white bristles.  They are very common--you know the kind. If you want, I can tell you the exact size and shape of all of them.  They are FAR better than most makeup brushes you can buy at the drugstore and also less expensive and easier to manage.

[Guest]

Ladies, I've enjoyed reading the make up tips!

I hope you can access this link: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/nov/18/sali-hughes-red-lipstick?newsfeed=true

I spent a happy 15 minutes the other day watching the video in this article all about how to wear red lipstick. What a treat.

Guess what's on my shopping list...

[teartracks]

Auto Insurance - USAA Insurance https://www.usaa.com/inet/pages/insurance_main_page?adid=icgsch39892842

tt

[Meh]

Mop the floor:

Well I'm too lazy to make a big stink about my communal floor cleaning duties. I sweep it. I don't mop it but I see other people sweep first and then mop and that looks like it does a pretty darn good job. Do you sweep first?

I think damn that floor is clean what is the secret? Maybe some women have some special kung-fu ability to magnetize the dirt through sheer will and make it attach itself onto the cleaning implement.

Paint particles of martial art masters sumi drawings are molecularly alligned all in the same way opposed to non-martial art masters molecules are not aligned when looked at under a microscope. It might just be possible that some women's cleaning skills are at the level of a martial art masters skills and the dirt literally lines up to connect positive dirt molecule with the negative end of the mop molecules.

My cleaning kung-fu is not that strong personally.