Recent Posts

1

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: facing the world

« Last post by sKePTiKal on January 09, 2026, 11:05:36 AM »

You and me both, Hops.

There are several very important (geopolitically) news stories this week and it's definitely more than "normal". Some of them aren't even mentioned by the big news outlets. So, it feels like a tsunami of "news"... but when I look closer, the actual amount of "news" is just a fraction of what's online, in reference to that "news".

It's people's reactions and opinions mostly. I've been hard pressed to sift fine enough to find the actual news updates. I'm sure it's affirming for people to post all that stuff; but I have a deal with myself, even if I agree with someone, that I'll go away long enough to do my own thinking about it. My way. Sans "influence".

And I can and do limit the time I allot to reviewing all of this. (Yes, I often have the experience that "while I was away" even more new attention-getting stuff happened. So be it.) Sometimes, I return to a forum thread that has grown 5-10 pages while I was "otherwise occupied". Sigh. Most of it is "noise" to me, these days.

The stuff right in front of me, IRL, is WAY more important to me, than my curiosity or "need to stay informed". B and I have taken advantage of Hol not needing attention from me, to go do some "fun" things for us instead. And it helps clear my head. Yes, escapism helps me relax - my epic fantasy books (mostly multi-book series) and tv movies and series, too. B and I just revisited Lonesome Dove. That felt peaceful and more "normal" even with the usual wild west violence. Hol & I will have an afternoon to compare notes & debrief when she gets back today; maybe tomorrow. And I have things "to do" which pays me tangible, self-sufficiency dividends. In satisfaction.

Isolation for me, or hermiting, simply is a way to reduce the over-stimulation of too much sensory input - as long as I drag myself away from the computer. I have enough physical space around me, that I don't have to navigate the unsolicited "inputs" from other people. That helps.

Space and time for me to process all this big change in our world's "landscape" is how I cope. A lot of it isn't going to personally impact me anyway. Sure, I want to understand what's going on. But there is a lot I don't have to bother myself with - so I choose not to.

Like I started out saying - I feel it too Hops. You ain't alone. We'll get through this time to another, more stable, "plateau". I trust in that.

2

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / facing the world

« Last post by Hopalong on January 08, 2026, 09:33:28 AM »

I'll commit as ever to not talking politics here, because we love this board and want to protect it from division.

Sometimes, though, it might be a comfort to talk about my internal reactions to what's going on in the world and the country. I don't want to analyse it or offer here my biased thoughts about or explanations for one thing or another. There are plenty of Substack spots for me.

I just wanna say that today I'm in a renewed state of shock and grief over it all. And there's a lot of "all" right now. So, maybe talking about coping with the world is all I'm referring to.

For me, escapism has been first, and isolation next. Neither very useful. I'm okay, just had to put it somewhere. Not even looking for any suggestions, just wanted to say "this is part of my energy field right now." Thatssit.

hugs
Hops

3

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025

« Last post by sKePTiKal on January 07, 2026, 09:22:49 AM »

The January "thaw" is early this year. Warm enough that Jack & Stinkers stayed out all night hunting. Yesterday was Hol's birthday... and this year, she's being self-sufficient about it. Took a friend to a fancy spa for lunch and massages. Drove home picked up the dogs & packed and drove to a nearby airBNB to spend a few days away from here with the BF. They'll have plenty of hiking spots; Appalachian Trail is close; and the town is pleasant this time of year without tourists. There are a few closeby places for them to sight-see and entertain themselves.

I have the studio all to myself for a few days. Will likely head out there and start this victorian chemise. And deal with the pile of mending. Clean up from our previous "sessions" there. Break out some albums & CDs, since I've killed my little used spotify account. When friend Debbie was out, my hands gravitated to a 3 CD set of Motown hits... and that set the right mood for a fun afternoon/evening.

B and I are rediscovering some intimate "activities" that have been on hold till he felt better physically. I also found a new formulation that includes a dopamine energist... and he has confirmed what I suspected. His way of dealing with pain not controlled by the pump or muscle relaxers gets completely shutdown by sheer mental determination. Which method, as we know from our own experiences, shuts down ALL feelings, indiscriminately. Now, we're going to try experimenting with changing the balance of good/bad feelings, on the theory that increasing "good", leaves less room for "bad". And if that positively expands his tolerance to life's little challenges & indignities. I think it will.

I know he has incredible will/determination AND physical ability to "keep on working" at things he values as his contribution around here. Like taking down trees & splitting wood. Tilling the garden. No matter how much it hurts that day. He is slower, but he gets there. He's told me how good he was with bio-feedback training. So I know his brain is flexible enough to re-draw/re-connect neural networks. Neuroplasticity is a real thing. So together, we're working & growing the relationship together.  This trip, we've spent way more time together and he is flatly jealous of Hol's claim on my time... and I'm OK with that. I see his point, and want her to live HER life without depending so much on me anyway. She's almost 50, FFS. And actually, she is at a point in her own "work" that she's seeing the value (to her) in that. So adjustments. Mistakes, too - and we keep on trying, making progress one baby-step at a time. It is working itself out.

But overall, things are good. It hardly feels like winter (at least this week!). The seed catalogs are stacking up now... but I think I'm going to cut back this year. There are perrenials that I've wanted to get planted. Might start frequenting more of the farmer's markets instead for veggies/fruits. And we need to get out & go visit places around here some more. Just coz. He wants to go to the Mothman festival. LOL.

Hope you guys are weathering the season's changes in fine fettle!

4

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Play Hookey

« Last post by sKePTiKal on January 06, 2026, 10:43:43 AM »

We are very much allowed to rest and care for ourselves (however we define it!) after giving so much of our time, effort & caring to others. For whatever reason. Ya done "good" for other, Meh. That's some of the best of being human, IMO.

5

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by sKePTiKal on January 06, 2026, 10:40:45 AM »

I'm glad for you, that you tried to help "decent-fy" these people's living conditions even though you've given yourself permission not to like them, even if they can't help being who they are. That's pretty magnanimous of you. And now, they can't touch you anymore.

No, we'll never understand why people are like this. No, it's not our job to "fix" them. Yes, we have a life that involves way more enjoyable experiences. We are pretty fortunate that we do.

6

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by lighter on January 05, 2026, 10:47:17 PM »

I recognize that need.... to understand nonsensical people, Meh.  To dissect, research and perform forensic acrobats.

You understand....you wrote it yourself.....
the important thing is how you feel.

That's what's yours to resolve.  Only that.  And it's a relief when everything else drops away, bc it will....usually does....IME.

Once Brother Mud wrote to me, on this forum....
"You'll never make sense of something nonsensical." I'm paraphrasing, but he wanted to save me from the extended puzzling, and needing nonsense to square up....I really needed it to.  Again.

Hops once wrote....."we stop when we become sick of ourselves being sick of ourselves being sick. " Again....paraphrasing, but a necessary thing to plod through, IME.

All the research helps.  Understanding there'll be no understanding, eventually, helps, ime.

You haven't asked for advice, or given enough info to hang it on, so will just say.....
you deserve to live in the light, with clarity, and understanding of your own true self. 

I fear you're in the dusty dark, for whatever reason....and it's not your darkness to fix, though I understand that longing.....and need to act. 

Once I realized I had no power to change, the things I can't change, it got easier.

No.....not easier.

It became possible, bc.....I fail either miserably
OR
do what I can, then put the story on the shelf, and turn back to the joy in front of me.

All things remaining the same....I win every time I choose joy, and responsiveness, over abandoning myself to things I didn't create, and can never change.

Wherever you are, Meh....you deserve the lioness's share of your compassion.

Lighter

7

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Play Hookey

« Last post by lighter on January 05, 2026, 08:51:51 PM »

I'm picturing you tucking into a book, Meh......with cup of tea.....soft pillows and comforting favorite blanket.

Hear hear to self care....and focus on
yourself. 


Lighter

8

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by Hopalong on January 05, 2026, 12:10:23 PM »

I do not have to match their inertia. I do not have to match their negativity. I do not have to match their neglect. I do not have to match their self absorption.

Love this, Meh. Inspiring mantra!
If it's an affirmation, research says it works best within the subconscious/brain if framed positively, though, as in:
I turn toward positive action. I turn toward positivity. I turn toward rest and nourishment (for ex). I turn toward interest in others. [It can be phrased any way you like, just an example....]

It sounds like you've just done a really Deep Dive on these disappointing people, so you understand your reasons for recoil. That's awesome.

hugs
Hops

9

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Play Hookey

« Last post by Hopalong on January 05, 2026, 10:33:09 AM »

I like that last...

I hear a lot of affirmative things from you recently and it reminds me what a ditch I've let some of my self-talk become. Thanks!

hugs
Hops

10

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Play Hookey

« Last post by Meh on January 04, 2026, 10:58:35 PM »

Thanks Lighter and Hops.

Just in cope mode I guess. Working my way through a book I guess it's my momentary cope.

The one thing I am excelling at is feeding myself a lot of food. Tis the holiday season anyhow. Not sure that I need to excel at that but oh well. I will give myself credit for any self care I manage to do.