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Well done, Tupp.

And... my T said we build energy/ego as the day progresses.  It's good to begin with meditation and taking breaks, to breathe and refocus, is a good idea too.


It's good advice, Lighter.  I'm trying to start the day in a quiet and calm way. Laundry on, then back to bed with my tea and book for half an hour.  Get dressed, have breakfast, feed the cat, feed the birds.  Sort son's meds, take assorted vitamins. Son's usually up by then so breakfast again with him, by that time the laundry's ready to go out on the line.  It's a change from my normal routine of waking up exhausted and mainlining coffee whilst rushing around getting ready for the day and shouting at son to hurry up.  Hoping to keep the new routine in place.

I've continued to research communes and - I'm going off the idea :)  Ha ha.  I still like the principle of sharing space with people but I've found myself thinking more and more about how difficult it might be for son if there are always other people around and how tolerant/compassionate others might be towards his disabilities over a long period of time.  He makes noises and motions that he has no control over.  Many things need to be done in a particular way to avoid stressing him out and many, many things annoy him.  I'm not sure that other people will be as accommodating to him as I am.  There are communities where you have  your own flat and then share spaces but at the moment most of the ones I've found require you to buy the property.  One rents them, but the area in which it is is not capturing my imagination.  I haven't discounted the idea entirely - I'll continue to read and visit places once it's safe to do so.  There is an organisation that loans money to people setting up communities, for the purchase of property.  I'm wondering if at some point I could buy a large property - or maybe even an unused shop or put - and convert it into small flats with shared areas specifically to rent to people in similar situations to ours.  There are schemes like that already but they're run through local authorities and I don't like the authority involvement.  It's something to ponder, but in the meantime I'm also browsing possible new homes on the internet.

I think practically we could be ready to move in about six months time.  I've done a lot of cleaning and clearing out during the lockdown so if I keep on top of it the actual physical pack up and go could be done in two weeks.  Financially, I reckon we could have enough saved by next Jan, assuming the pressure of Covid doesn't get to me and I start ordering takeaways every night and spending all my money on online shopping :) Feels nice to have it in sight but not feel pressured by it.
Aw, LIghter, Happy, Happy Birthday to DD!  Give her a big birthday hug from us.  Intimate parties are the best, especially when there's fancy cake!  Have a really lovely time.  Gosh your girls are so grown up now.  Is 18 a really big celebration there or is that more 21st?  We kind of do both here, and then it's the decade milestones after that.  Have a really lovely day xx
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Coronavirus
« Last post by Twoapenny on Today at 03:01:29 AM »
I think you're right, Hopsie.  Son and I are lucky that we can basically sit this out - although oddly I feel guilty about that.  Grateful as well, but I feel bad for others who can't.  It is a little tricky because the news reports are all about things opening up again - son reads all of that.  I still don't feel it's safe but I don't want to labour the point with him that I think the news is inaccurate (because he's taking so much pleasure from the positive statements).  So I'm just fibbing a bit or avoiding the issue, which I don't like to do.  But I suppose it's needs must at the moment.  I just notice contradictions when I read them and I like things to balance properly.  Lol xx
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Coronavirus
« Last post by Hopalong on July 10, 2020, 08:34:39 PM »
I know. For the average-educated person, the numbers can't be woven. Even for the above-average, highly logical person like you, they still can't be woven. I think the only thing we can weave is the covering of our own common sense, and reasonable responses to evidence we are seeing/hearing from scientists.

It's very weird to feel we're on our own in decision making. But that's one reason I so liked that chart. It's concrete and pragmatic. Doesn't solve the long-term worries but certainly makes it easier to negotiate the next day/week/month with some of the best info (summarized) I've seen.

I'm just not trying to make sense of individual or anecdotal reports, because it's a novel virus that's caught both our governments flat-footed, and I frankly think informed citizens like yourself, or others who think and read outside politics, are among the best prepared. We can just face the facts we DO have, and make our best decisions. Our governments will keep parsing and explaining several beats behind the emergency, imo, so our best security is really from trusting our own good minds.

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Yard
« Last post by Twoapenny on July 10, 2020, 03:30:13 PM »
The party sounds nice, Lighter :)  The only outdoor, non contact games I could think of were the traditional sports day races (traditional here, I don't know if it's traditional there!).  But things like sack race, egg and spoon race, ordinary running, backwards running, obstacle races (jumping over bowls of water, stopping to put on a hat and gloves, crawling under a piece of rope, that sort of thing), gymnastics competition (forward rolls, cartwheels, handstands etc).  Just silly things that people can do at the same time but without touching.  Games like charades and pictionary (everyone can have their own pencils).  Maybe hangman, on a white board, with words that mean something to the family (childhood holiday places, favourite books from years ago, names of pets, that sort of thing).  Pin the tail on the donkey but maybe you could do pin the lasso on the cowboy (although you'd all need your own lassos, it might be time consuming to make them.  Maybe pin the moustache on the sheriff would be easier?).  Doughnuts on a string?  You could spread them out far enough that you're not touching.  Maybe a non contact version of twister so you spin the thing but instead of using the mat everyone stands on one leg for green, touches their toes for blue, that sort of thing.  And just have silly prizes and maybe an overall trophy for the person who wins the most events or something? xx
DD decided she wants an intimate party... just her sister, and me, there.  Today she is 18!

We went to a fancy grocery store, where dd chose a fancy cake, and many fancy ivory and gold candles... so pretty!

I think this will be more of a photo op for her.  DD hasn't really been chipper and outgoing since COVID. 

I think she's getting what she wants though.


Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The island
« Last post by lighter on July 10, 2020, 02:38:19 PM »
Oh, guest is a mechanic and fixing the clogged up AC in the bunk room.. he offered.  He's also doing some other stuff... fixing the door locks that aren't perfectly lined up... BUT....
the electricity went out last night, right when their lobster and steak was ready to go.

And it went out for hours... at least 3... which is not normal, or so I'm told by housekeeper and "caretaker."

IT was hot enough guest began whining a bit about it getting very hot inside, which I completely GET.   They ended up at the Casino, so likely went out for dinner, rather than use the grill, which is another debacle... I think my "caretaker" pretended it was his, and he was going to "save them" from my lack of preparation, which is SO unfair.  It was a fight to GET that grill, and dry charcoal and lighter fluid TO the island, and stored so it could be easily found, and....

::going to pick up car getting unexpected repairs::

I'm a tad stressed, but I have to tell you.... I understand this is small stuff. 

::picturing guests on a POS boat, sweltering and sunburning without shade... miles offshore with engine failure::

That hasn't happened, that I know of, but the "caretaker" set them up with a 700.00 fishing trip, that should have cost them 1200.00 and I'm picturing some pretty terrible scenarios.  I didn't want to be responsible for that kind of stuff,  and now my "caretaker" is recommending people who likely give him kickbacks and I KNOW how hard it is for the islanders to keep their boats in working order, and....


Employing DO ALL I CAN, then put the story on the shelf coping strategy.


Maybe zero utilities will go out on this, their 3rd, day at the cottage.

If it's not OK...  it's still OK.

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Coronavirus
« Last post by Twoapenny on July 10, 2020, 02:23:56 PM »
That is handy, Hops, we can easily stick to green activities so that's good :)

Things here don't make sense.  We've got (apparently) rising numbers in 108 places across England, with one country back in total lockdown and six pubs closed since Saturday for deep cleaning after someone tested positive in each one.  We also had today one of the lowest death counts we've had so far and a lower number of diagnosed cases as well.  It just doesn't make sense to me.
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Green burials
« Last post by Hopalong on July 10, 2020, 07:52:54 AM »
Noooo, not at all Tupp, no apology needed!
I also love the idea of direct-to-nature, makes so much sense.
I think it was Lighter's reprise with italics and gulping that got to me!
(No apology needed there either!)


I'm thooo thenthitive thometimes.

I'm glad you're happy, Lighter, and that the bad memories have receded.  And that you have good memories of childhood as well.  The clown costume sounds great; I hope DD has a lovely birthday :)  Is that what the party's for?  I know it's a little bit away yet but I wondered if it was a birthday party of just a getting together party?  I hope she really enjoys her day xx
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