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« Last post by lighter on November 20, 2025, 09:33:07 AM »
So I tried asking myself why I'm not paying attention to what I eat.
There was no response.
I let it go, and see I'll be tending to only my meals soon. It will resolve on it's own, no heavy mental lifting required.
It's sort of a cycle.....and honestly, I can be very happy inserting "better" choices consistently.
Selecting "best" choices, without wavering, is another matter, IME, bc it requires reading tiny labels, without fail, to 100% exclude sugar. That's tough....no fruit, not even a tic tac.
Ahhh....so the pattern becomes ....
"Better" choices still create visible inflammation. Regular food beckons, I say "might as well" and then it becomes a habit.
This time.... it's bc I want to remain agile and active. This time is bc I deserve to feel good and suffer less. This time, bc I have less destructive ways of self soothing and embracing fellowship. I think I've almost dropped modeling better for my girls. It'll help my sister and friend stay on track.
And so...at the lake, preparing house with friend, for her family Thanksgiving....we showed up with almost identical items from our fridges....fresh spinach, fresh basil/cilantro, boiled eggs, carrots, onions lettuce....
She had ground beef, cabbage and tomatoes, I had fresh mushrooms and bacon, so lettuce wraps and warm bacon spinach salad, it was. No gluten, but I put real sugar in the dressing, when I could have used monk fruit.
I wanted to be pristine, with her food ......but missed the mark, out of habit, mainly.
And she's never really recovered from her last car accident....her foot and shoulder were never fully restored. Her gallbladder trouble freaked me out BIG time. (She's so much happier without it, btw.)
It frightened me....not gonna lie. It meant something BIG...many somethings big, I'm afraid. She's the one person left, besides our martial arts instructor, who worked out with me regularly. We knew each others strengths, and skills....we were amazing and fearless together.
We both deserve to feel good and suffer less. Nutrition is a no-brainer.
Now....what does it mean to me....
to be pristine with food choices? To not be pristine?
Same with words, actions and doom scrolling hygiene.
It's discipline and more positive outcomes vs immediate self gratification and more negative outcomes.
But with food .....
It's really enjoying it, and being really hungry, when I eat vs choking down lots of food, with very little, if any, hunger.
Food, as comfort and distraction, has to drop way down on the list, while requiring more energy, prep time and planning ahead.....moving to a schedule.....sticking to pristine choices.
The benefits have outweighed the costs...... I was highly motivated by threats to my children. I didn't have a bobble. I was fiercely on target, super committed and tweaking problems proactively.
It's different, now, to sustain, IME.
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