Recent Posts

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by Hopalong on Today at 11:23:41 AM »

I like the 50/50 reminder too.

My version of it is exhorting myself to always allow for "the possibility of good things happening." Or something close to it.

I've set down expecting or predicting (whew). In the past I've despaired enough to flatten out the REALITY that good things will happen, too. They can be as simple as rain, snow, sun and dogs. I don't let myself despair to that level any more because the simple, amazing things come every day. They never stopped, I had just stopped receiving them.

Easy for me to say in retirement, with shelter and food and friends.

hugs,
Hops

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad

« Last post by sKePTiKal on Today at 08:56:36 AM »

Bird Nerd sounds nice! Nothin' wrong with friend-zone, s-l-o-w, and still being who you are.

The older we get - the more baggage we drag around into any kind of relationship. Takes a while to sort/purge/try something else and maybe trust A LITTLE in any new situation.

B came here the first time in 2019. Then, it was a year or so before he came back. And he's only just now sorted his head out enough to let his hair really hang down with me. Pain required he compartmentalize so much, so completely... he couldn't feel anything real or deeply. Been there, done that myself for other reasons. So it's just reminding him, being patient, let him make his own exploration, decisions, etc about it.

Of course, that required me keeping enough independence and confidence in my self - apart - until he got all the way through his process. And it doesn't hurt to keep that little flame alive anyway. We're going to need it as we prop each other up, hobbling along the way we do. Equals - is our main objective.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by sKePTiKal on Today at 08:40:45 AM »

Yeah, I've been noticing a lot of people around me just absolutely convinced that nothing good, kind, or easy would ever happen again to them. My 50-50 number is just my way of reminding people that both things are equally possible on any given day.

I would also caution anyone in a new environs to NEVER get so absorbed in the phone, a book, or anything that would distract you from basic situational awareness - things going on around you. That's a human skill that technology is degrading. It's a survival skill. For me, when the vibes in a place are "off" when I enter - I up my awarenes and hurry my business so I can leave.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad

« Last post by Meh on Today at 12:13:00 AM »

All forms of whoopdedooey prohibited until further notice.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Meh on May 03, 2026, 08:50:54 PM »

Went to church - Hung out with people after because I wanted coffee and why not. Talked to a woman about gardening and that was nice. She was telling me that what I found in the garden once was likely a vole not a mole. I think they look helpless and cute. I put some water down next to it and stuck a leaf over it so it wouldn't get eaten. The church lady was in favor of killing them because she says they eat tulips.

She is one of the friendlier upbeat cutesy church ladies. Very likable.

And I talked to another woman there who said she doesn't have kids. They stated so because mother's day coming up.

I did some minor job research stuff this morning.

Feeling so much ambivalence. I need to kill this ambivalence stuff. -- Don't make decisions nothing bad can happen -- lack of decisions lame stuff still happens.
 

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Meh on May 03, 2026, 08:40:23 PM »

We're having the most amazing weather, Meh. 

The sky....clouds....breeze.  Heck, it hailed after a rat a tat rainfall, then the sky went pink.  What an amazing sunset.....chirping bats.....golden light hitting green trees, and newly planted hosta.

Lighter

That sounds beautiful!

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by Meh on May 03, 2026, 08:38:18 PM »

Well, why not look at the fear that something bad will happen. Statistically, in general, I think a case could be made that it's just as possible something good will happen. I'd say it's almost 50-50 chance.

Why do you think you're singled out for just bad things? Bad things happen to ALL of us, at times. But it's usually not a life or death situation. It's usually just a problem that needs solved. You aren't helpless - we all know you're smart, have agency and can do.

If, in your pondering of this, you can pick out 3 things that inordinately make you afraid... how about thinking of a list of solutions or ways to protect yourself? Bet you can think of a lot of ways.

50/50 chance is something ... so toss the coin I guess

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by Meh on May 03, 2026, 08:37:11 PM »

-- Don't worry about it Hops.

I will get the offices and ID stuff figured out soon. Was just frustrated that day but then I look at myself and realize I have to also let go of frustration and just move on. I already moved on.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by Hopalong on May 03, 2026, 01:15:09 PM »

I felt frustrated at the person who couldn't or wouldn't help you resolve the ID issue. Were you able to ask her what exactly is needed? Did she understand that the place had told you, you must bring exactly document X or Y? And here they are?

Grrrrr. I hope next steps are clear and make more sense.

The filterless public behavior....sad to me. Nose in book sounds like a good way to handle it since you were stuck on a bus.

A new city? Very interesting. Got a Pros and Cons list going? Those have helped me make key choices in the past. Whether things work out perfectly or not, doing that process has made me feel something like....my rational mind is helping me with this. So whatever decision I'd make wound up making more sense and easier to live with. Another method is Must-Haves, Likes, Wishes, Dealbreakers -- those lists helped me sort my priorities.

hugs
Hops

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Hopalong on May 03, 2026, 01:06:31 PM »

I just wrote a poem about seeing the northern lights from a field in the south. With religious stuff, or beyond-religious stuff. Felt good. Still working at it.

Breaking off with Poet seems to have freed up some writing channel. Good thing. It's unusual for me to write two in a week. The other one was about words themselves.

Confrontation with kitchen is overdue. It's right bad, y'all. But I will be visiting D, my friend with glioblastoma this afternoon; perspective is everything. Last week I drove a man my age who'd had a stroke and is living on his own, walking like a fragile tortoise. I liked him, but so far I like nearly all of them. As does Pup!

Beautiful day here, despite the drought.

hugs all,
Hops