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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Predatory grooming
« Last post by Hopalong on May 19, 2026, 06:49:01 PM »Lighter, I can imagine how triggering your cousin's saga is for you. My hope is that she will take responsibility for learning how to prevail.
I generally haaaate AI, but googling The Narcissist in Court will bring up a ton of very actionable help. I'll never forget taking cues from one article literally. Never use the term "narcissist", don't cry or accuse, stick to FACTS and present them in a calm and organized fashion. Such as:https://www.docthenarc.com/getnow
I did not look at my brother or make eye contact with him once. I remained calm, serious, and focused on my "bizness." I brought a banker's box of documentation. No drama or emotionality, just very clear and detailed written responses, including summaries of the lies he told about me. Our side's information was very well organized and my lawyer explained the issues calmly and professionally to the court. N-bro was chaotic, trying to charm-bomb and male-bond the judge and opposing attorney, and basically not even sounding rational at times. I positioned myself so I didn't even have to look at him and stuck to that determinedly. (I could sense him almost twitching in confusion.)
The judge got wind of who my brother was pretty quickly, and I won. It felt like a miracle but I really think the deliberate withdrawal of "narcissistic supply" such as eye contact during court, as well as my detailed prep beforehand, saved me. Summaries and documentation were very within my comfort zone of writing.
So imn-ho, your cousin needs to search for this kind of info online, and pay attention to it. Her emotions will get her nowhere and undermine her chances of winning. Detailed documentation, even what I wrote (a summary of rebuttals of his lies and irrational accusations) are what a judge will take note of. It also helped that my lawyer stood up at one point and said, "Your Honor, my client is afraid of her brother." When the judge ruled he included that my brother had no further access to the house. The amount of stress that rolled off my shoulders in that moment could have washed the street.
As this person illustrates so well in her discussion, the court looks for a repeated pattern of behavior over time. She mentions docthenarc.com and there's free and specific strategy there. https://www.docthenarc.com/getnow
hugs
Hops
I generally haaaate AI, but googling The Narcissist in Court will bring up a ton of very actionable help. I'll never forget taking cues from one article literally. Never use the term "narcissist", don't cry or accuse, stick to FACTS and present them in a calm and organized fashion. Such as:https://www.docthenarc.com/getnow
I did not look at my brother or make eye contact with him once. I remained calm, serious, and focused on my "bizness." I brought a banker's box of documentation. No drama or emotionality, just very clear and detailed written responses, including summaries of the lies he told about me. Our side's information was very well organized and my lawyer explained the issues calmly and professionally to the court. N-bro was chaotic, trying to charm-bomb and male-bond the judge and opposing attorney, and basically not even sounding rational at times. I positioned myself so I didn't even have to look at him and stuck to that determinedly. (I could sense him almost twitching in confusion.)
The judge got wind of who my brother was pretty quickly, and I won. It felt like a miracle but I really think the deliberate withdrawal of "narcissistic supply" such as eye contact during court, as well as my detailed prep beforehand, saved me. Summaries and documentation were very within my comfort zone of writing.
So imn-ho, your cousin needs to search for this kind of info online, and pay attention to it. Her emotions will get her nowhere and undermine her chances of winning. Detailed documentation, even what I wrote (a summary of rebuttals of his lies and irrational accusations) are what a judge will take note of. It also helped that my lawyer stood up at one point and said, "Your Honor, my client is afraid of her brother." When the judge ruled he included that my brother had no further access to the house. The amount of stress that rolled off my shoulders in that moment could have washed the street.
As this person illustrates so well in her discussion, the court looks for a repeated pattern of behavior over time. She mentions docthenarc.com and there's free and specific strategy there. https://www.docthenarc.com/getnow
hugs
Hops