Recent Posts

1

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on Today at 03:33:10 PM »

-- But you know what okay writing that above has helped me in a general way sort of think about how I do - I must share things about myself with other people and I think listing hobbies is good because my hobbies are common female hobbies.


-- I like to hike
-- I like to do crafty stuff
-- I like to cook new recipes
-- explore music places
-- I like to garden  (haven't been so this last)

I feel like THAT IS GOOD ENOUGH. Topical stuff in meeting people for the first time I think is preferable.

So if people say anything like tell me about yourself I do feel like this list is fine. I'm sort of a boring person that is fine.

-- I will NOT complain about anything not even my shoe laces. NOTHING.
-- I will NOT vent or stress even if OTHER people do that.

-- I will be SIMPLE
-- I will try to enjoy and talk about the environment because I usually do like being outside.

That is good enough I did social prep.

2

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on Today at 03:26:33 PM »

Tomorrow I'm going to try to do a group walk in the city not as good as a hike but it's something. I don't know any of these people that's okay it's likely to be mostly women. It's a location I've never been to before so I guess I will just consider it exploration.

Yay me. Finding opportunities on occasion to go socialize.

Last night I went out listened to some music it was a mediocre band and I didn't talk to anybody just sat at the bar with a ten dollar beer I think I gotta stop that. Went to same location a while ago and they had some music that ended up being pretty good one never knows.

But if I am honest that is how I am at music places I rarely talk to anybody. Though sometimes I really do go for the music not for the social scene but clearly it IS a social scene even on the rare rare occasion that the music is stellar people are there mainly I think just to be public but why am I paying attention oh yeah because I'm really socially shy these types of places are not conducive for me to like talk with people but I think a walk with probably mostly women will be very different. Anywho.

I don't have a script about myself. What do I say "I'm a cardboard office worker cog?" --- This isn't self pity it's just well I guess I could just tell people about the hobbies I enjoy and I can just say I am trying to take better care of my health which is NOT a lie I have been doing sport stretching recently and really noticing how the age slowly creeps up.

I'm now really not into yoga for a few reasons. One big one is even if I do yoga at this point it's important to me that it's secular yoga because I am not into the woo woo vague cloud of whatever. Doesn't matter.

It's a little easier for me to stretch in my lower body and harder in the chest area I definitely think the ribs, heart, lungs are stress-tight and I don't want to assume anything. I don't want to assume it's any specific emotion thing but after doing some stretches I did notice a day afterwards for a brief moment like a weird wave of fear or panic well FEAR I think like came through my chest area and it passed -- and I do wonder if some stress is the body bracing against the emotional feeling of fear because that wave sort of made me think I don't feel that kind of wave of fear thing very much.

Anyhow. Whaver.

3

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on June 18, 2026, 07:36:00 PM »

I am tired of thinking about deficits and problems.

I would like to think about good things that could happen. No guaranteed but could happen.

4

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on June 18, 2026, 07:33:58 PM »

focusless, rapid-fire complaint cycles are a specific psychological phenomenon known as co-rumination combined with narcissistic framing.

that conversation:

The Dopamine Hit of Outrage: Conversations like this are not meant to exchange information or solve problems. They are an emotional engine fueled by outrage. Complaining about generic "threats"—whether it is robo-dials, or poisonous snakes—triggers a spike of stress hormones and dopamine. It makes the speakers feel alive, urgent, and bonded through shared panic.

The "Trauma-Bonding" Loop: In dysfunctional family dynamics, intimacy is rarely built on vulnerability or genuine interest. Instead, it is built on a shared enemy or a shared catastrophe. When the focus shifts instantly from telemarketers to snakes, it proves the topic doesn't matter; only the high-voltage energy of the complaint matters.

Weaponized Incompetence & Sympathy Harvesting: By cycling through terms like "miserable," "befuddled," and "weak," the narcissist is setting up a baseline where they are immune to accountability. If they are perpetually the victim of the universe (and snakes, and weather), they never have to self-reflect or change.

They are just using words as a pinball machine to keep their emotional arousal high.

There is no main focus, logic, progression, and meaning in the conversation

------------------------------------------------------- 

Well I can see it and hear it.

I can try to choose to do something else.

-------------------------------------------------------

Going for a walk to get outdoors. Will pack the sunblock and some water

Proud of myself for doing a few stretches lately and mindfulness breathing it's not a silver bullet but it's a tiny shift for my stress
------------------------------------------------------

Be back later.

5

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026

« Last post by Hopalong on June 18, 2026, 10:14:44 AM »

Wow. It's wonderful. Amazing. Love "seeing" it! Sez Hops in her covers watching Pup sleep.

I have a list too! Abdalla returns for a couple hours today to:

-Plant the yellow wheelbarrow. I bought loads of no-plan-just-like-'em annuals yesterday and a big bag of potting soil.
-Carry Betty Begonia outside (she's nearly three feet tall now in a big pot) to the patio.
-Then just go around weeding, tidying, fixing up planters and doing the stuff he knows how to do.

He's still dealing with terrified relatives in the ME but if the MOU means anything, maybe they'll be okay.

I got the car washed yesterday. I get so PISSED at my back and having to hire people to do simple, simple stuff. But I had to drive an elder to a doc for the Village and the car looked like a dirty puppy nest (pretty accurate). So now it's nice. After I got her home, the lady gave me a big bunch of hydrangeas, all different colors.

I've been going to cardiac PT again, 2-3 times/week, and it simply means I'm moving (NuStep machine) and walking (rubber track). The cameraderie, nurses and music mean I'm walking. Not for long (time or distance, maybe half hour-40 min.) but safely and I get sweaty and SOB (short of breath). I'm sticking with it because it means I will begin to meet a friend to walk in town a bit, and the more I do it, the more I'll be able to do.

hugs
Hops

6

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026

« Last post by sKePTiKal on June 18, 2026, 09:02:26 AM »

Well the heat hasn't been so bad lately. The humidity however... !!!!

SOME of the to-dos dropped off the list when Debbie changed her visit till July 4th. She has a conflict/is busy too; needs new AC unit - which is a necessity. And I'm gradually getting all the other things knocked down one step at a time. It helped that our ant invasion stopped.

I ordered 3 rosa rugosas from Plant Addicts. I was super impressed with how big & beautiful they are!! And I'm revising my planting plans - LOL. I still have a hyssop & a lavender to get in too. With the big bush roses and the elders, I'm hoping to define my herb garden somewhat, minimize mowing obstacles, and get another sources of vitamins (rose hips) and medicines (elderberry syrups) going. The mullein is taking over the rest of the open space this year and I should have a bumper crop, with all this rain. Thunder this morning, then it warms up & gets windy.

So today is an inside day.

I'll work on business stuff this morning. Later, I'm going to finish the bench cushion for the mudroom and call it "done". Let Hol babble about whatever's on her head. Help B find things to keep him busy; although I think he's already got his list going. He's healed up nicely. He does react physically/mentally to the barometer (like I do) and incoming weather. This weekend, I've got things I've emptied out of a storage bench to sort, purge, find places for stuff... and then start organizing the laundry room again and house garage. B and I are tackling the organization together between the barn, house garage, studio garage, and shop.

We meet with the Deck contractor sales person & the project manager next week. And they believe they can start soon and finish quickly. Fingers crossed. If we get a dry spell (like a week, week and a half) I need to sand and spray seal the studio deck. Next year, I'll have the house deck stained and sealed, along with the house exterior. Replacement front door MAY be getting ordered this week - but it's not something the lumber company has in stock, so no idea when that will show up.

That's just a PARTIAL explanation of everything going on around here!

Whee.

7

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on June 17, 2026, 09:34:53 PM »

Abuse leaves a scar of bad things that happened.

Neglect leaves a void of good things that never happened.

8

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026

« Last post by Hopalong on June 17, 2026, 10:57:50 AM »

I get it.
It's so THAT time of year.
It's gotten so hot here I'm mourning spring
and worried about summer.

But all will be well...even if it's not.

hugs
Hops

9

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026

« Last post by sKePTiKal on June 16, 2026, 10:57:09 AM »

Just super busy IRL right now Hops. Just work; inside outside upside down busy.

10

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by Hopalong on June 16, 2026, 08:00:27 AM »

How are you doing, Lighter?

Hope summer is hitting in a good not scorching way....

hugs
Hops