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AI---

I asked AI if sadness and grief were different because they do not seem the exact same to me.

Intentionality and Structural Object-Directedness: In phenomenological philosophy and cognitive emotion theory, grief is structurally dyadic or object-oriented—it requires a specific, externalized loss (a person, a status, a definitive rupture of a life-world). It is a totalized disorientation of the self relative to a lost object. Conversely, sadness can be ambient or non-object-specific; it is a fundamental attunement to the state of things or an ongoing condition of existence, rather than a narrative tracking of a specific stolen or missing entity.

Temporal Horizons: Philosophers of emotion (such as Matthew Ratcliffe in his work on the structural phenomenology of emotional "worlds") note that grief alters the structure of time by constantly throwing the self backward into an irrecoverable past or freezing it against an obstructed future. Sadness, however, retains an open temporal horizon. It is a state of heavy, low-arousal presence (anergia) that sits within the present moment without necessarily demanding a structural accounting of what was taken.

Physiological and Behavioral Arousal: Evolutionary psychology (e.g., David Huron's comparative work on stress responses) differentiates the two through autonomic arousal. Grief is a high-arousal, volatile state characterized by spikes in epinephrine, panic, and acute protest behaviors (weeping, searching, acute destabilization). Sadness is a low-arousal, conservation-withdrawal state. It lowers metabolic and physiological output, operating as a biological energy-conservation response to chronic baseline stress or systemic wear-down rather than acute trauma.

The Diagnostic Boundary of the Self: As psychological and psychiatric differentiation outlines, grief maintains a preserved core self-esteem focused strictly outward on the loss. Sadness points to an internal state of affective resignation—a posture toward the self's endurance under weight rather than an active mourning process over a discrete, named catastrophe.
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Made a little doodle this morning to represent intuition. It was only a line drawing of a body emphasis on heart, lungs, stomach and feet. Refrained from adding any symbols beyond the body to keep it intuition focused and not out of body abstracted stuff. I was looking at it and I was thinking wow she is sad!

Here is the thing --- I have been going to church of months now. Doing new things meeting different types of people even the pagan thing. And fundamentally after this superficial transactional moments pass I am still very sad.

So I guess I am telling myself okay, it's OKAY to be sad but also I mean it indicates something is wrong right. Most people would DO something about their sadness they would NOT tolerate it. But I am NOT GOOD AT doing something about my sadness.

Being sad is exhausting. Maybe I need to try a different church meet a new set of people.

Doing self awareness - checking in with self and trying to be in touch with intuition.

So many things in my life are going haywire externally as well.

"A haywire camp is one where inferior equipment is used..." — Ralph C. Bryant, Logging (1913)

I really need to take the emotions out of my tasks while simultaneously being "more intuitive"  bwa hahahaha

Will finish breakfast and go do errands and then find a quiet spot to make phone calls from.

PEACE
JOY
ACTiON
and when all else fails TRANSMUTATION
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That sounds fun! Maybe you can find a free photo editing app. What matters when increasing physical photo size is the original resolution. And there are ways to "cheat" that in software.
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026
« Last post by Dirty Hippy on July 26, 2026, 09:31:12 PM »
I understand the pain and annoyance of keeping up. It's inevitable though and when you do get new tech you will probably like it for a while at least until it has to be replaced again in much shorter time.

The one thing I had wished I could have afforded with this old phone is better camera. I don't take a lot of pics but I did go through a chapter of inspirational obsession. I had made some temporary nature art things and they were pretty awesome and I wish the photos could be blown up. Oh well.
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by Dirty Hippy on July 26, 2026, 09:27:53 PM »
Went to church and successfully avoided the dude by quickly walking past him and then also leaving when he came near the table I was at. I got to talk to ladies and the pastor's wife and that was good enough for me for socializing. Well I would have enjoyed a better weekend.

I feel like some of the people at the church have a good energy in the sense that some of them don't appear to be harboring a lot of resentment, jealousy, bitterness whatever. It's really hard to be around people that just FEED negativity and stir it out of boredom.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026
« Last post by sKePTiKal on July 26, 2026, 08:13:49 AM »
Yeah, and I used to work IT. But it makes/takes phone calls, texts, and takes pics. That works for me. Never dropped in coffee, whiskey or the toilet... LOL!
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026
« Last post by Dirty Hippy on July 26, 2026, 12:15:25 AM »

18 year old cell phone that's wild
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026
« Last post by sKePTiKal on July 25, 2026, 11:43:27 AM »
Sigh. Slow summer - which doesn't bother me much.
Mowing is on hiatus - have to fix the mower deck and one of the parts ordered was the wrong one. But hot then rainy - as in topical storm downpours - then cooler & cocoonish...

I'm way behind on planting & weeding & building new beds... coz bugs. It'd be different if the bites/reactions went away in a week, but noooooooo. Still waiting on new locking mechanism to come in for front door. Deck is MOSTLY done, but B is using the scrap lumber to improve the lower deck and steps down into the jungle that is encroaching and needs cleared.

Hol's been preoccupied with C - and confusing the crap out of me - so it's not high on my priority "attention list". Usually she just want some Mommy time and I can do that. The frequency has slowed down.

My phone, ipad, and keyboard are all trying to go south on me at the same time. SIGH. And I'm not predisposed to deal with any of them. I think the battery in the keyboard just died; charging now. But the charging port on the ipad is loose so any cable I use refusing to stay "connected" long enough to charge it. Even when I'm not mobile. This is pricey replacement, because I usually get a cell chip in it - lets me deal with travel, etc and never be on public wifi. No Apple stores near me to get the port fixed. Cell phone is close to 18 years old... and can only be updated so much further. Ick, blech, don't want to make any changes in this arena... but I won't have much choice if I wait too much longer.

I'm kinda bored and gloomy doomy; grumpish. But I think I know a way I can change that - just have to get B's attention. Got fooled by Amazon last night - thought they were running the movie Young Washington, but it was just a trailer. Boo Hiss! Washington surveyed and fought the French-Indian war around here... so we're interested in the history.
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by Dirty Hippy on July 23, 2026, 12:53:18 AM »
Won a raffle while back and got some lame-o art supplies.

Took my lame-o art supplies to an art get together and doodled some oak-ish leaf and branch thingy I picked on the way there.

There was not a lot of conversation at this art thing there often isn't or it references so much pop culture that I have no idea what people are talking about. Oh well I went. I am going. I am doing.

The mountain ranges are obscured from that smoke. It's still not awful yet.

The actual tree parts were more beautiful than my doodle of them. I feel guilty for molesting nature just to make a rendition of it. A bullshit rendition. Nature is so wonderful by itself even if nobody observes it or brands it or names it. It's fine all by itself.

I hastily had to put the leaf and twig parts into the bathroom garbage can on my way out. There is the chance I am allergic to it because of course I would have to be allergic to oak? maybe who knows doesn't matter right now .... have to set my alarm before I fall asleep and tomorrow I will wing it in the morning
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by sKePTiKal on July 21, 2026, 01:08:35 PM »
Yes, all these kinds of groups, IMO, are a lot like HS cliches. Even if they don't enforce political uniformity. Group dynamics is a real thing - and one can even recognize various types or stereotypes of personalities in almost any group. I briefly entertained participating in a local artist's co-op, until I started recognizing some of the types that eventually wear out my politeness/patience.

But there ARE small informal groups around and yes, everyone is friends so getting invited to join might take awhile and some effort. Quilters, crafters - lots of spinners, weavers, knitters etc - make an effort to get together on a regular basis, like monthly to share, problemsolve, etc. Same is true of outdoorsy people - hikers, water sports, rock climbers, cyclists. Forgot - gardeners, too! You can usually meet people like this at art fairs, farmer's markets, or even visiting those co-op store fronts.
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