Recent Posts

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by sKePTiKal on Today at 07:58:52 AM »

Those social messages (be happy, look like a barbie doll, be independent) are a kind of peer-pressure to conform to that arbitrary "standard" of the moment. Like all fashion - it changes. For me, it was the "be happy" message that was the most dangerous. Actual human beings simply aren't happy 24/7/365 with no anxiety or concerns unless they're completely delusional and disconnected from reality.

Hops & I can go on about this at length, with many many more examples. My D, Hol, is working on her own list because it's in her nature to be fiercely independent, very intense (which scares a lot of people - male & female alike), and yet she's very kind, caring, and a compulsive problemsolver. She refuses to play the character that society tries to push onto her - because it's NOT who/what she is. And she simply won't pretend. This can create additional problems in her life - but she accepts that.

I stopped trying to find/chase happiness. And I let it find me. I still did all the same things, still enjoyed some little things... but one day I wasn't doing anything particular and just realized I was happy! It was a strange feeling, so I just sat with it... and in a few minutes it faded... just like all emotions do (some more persistant than others). And these days, it comes & goes as it will - just like frustration, anger, resentments, silliness, and just good old coziness. May the fairy of happiness come visit you!

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026

« Last post by sKePTiKal on Today at 07:40:33 AM »

Old versions of Photoshop, would include a tool to change the resolution up/down. Of course, it was up to the artist to decide how much was too much... the software deleted some pixels from the original, when moving resolution down... and "interpolated" (or guessed; made up) gradations between pixels when increasing resolution. It was never totally perfect, but it was great for shrinking file sizes in the early days of websites. Some social media still impose limits on uploaded file sizes... and I have yet to find any app that does what my photoshop 4 (speaking of OLD) can do.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on Today at 01:19:32 AM »

- Made important phone call. It seems to have turned out way better than I had expected. Had been actually becoming weirdly avoidant and anxious about it. We shall see. Positive so far.

- Walked while I called. Got exercise.

- Went to music event was kinda dead but hey I checked it out.

- Made it back before nightfall.

- No dogs to pet. That's okay. I did enough.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on July 28, 2026, 08:49:53 PM »

I didn't know there were ways to cheat resolution but I guess many things have changed.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on July 28, 2026, 08:47:47 PM »

Hmmmm. I think you're on to something!

Looks like the outline of an experiment, anyway - maybe apply intentionality and then assess whether sadness lifts a noticeable amount, with/without repetition - and were there any other variables that were involved in one result or the other? (I dunno; just spitballing a half-assed idea...)

I dunno Skeptikal about this experiment.

The thing is I feel like I don't always even notice my own sadness sometimes like it's too quiet. I feel like sadness is not always a loud state-of-being. I had to doodle a little picture look at it and then think "she looks sad" in order for something to click.

It's probably not rocket science. I think it might be due to lack of family and being single. Things I've not focused on a lot. I've focused on trying to define a problem and analyze other people's behavior. I've not done enough of building up my own life.

I'm not against feminism but I think the messaging about people always being happy with being "independant" "on their own" was kind of wrong. It's somewhat a healthy and somewhat an unhealthy message.

Getting all hyped up on sugar right now. Going to do adulting.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on July 28, 2026, 08:32:19 PM »

Already got kicked out of the pagan group for not being environmentally conscious enough or just for being myself I guess. Definitely glad I didn't spend more time with these people.

The sky is wonderfully overcasted with a blanket of gray clouds. I am actually loving this it's a nice break from the UV.

I miss the older hippie types ... it was once the case that people could talk about ideas without all of it being personal identity signals.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by sKePTiKal on July 28, 2026, 08:38:31 AM »

Hmmmm. I think you're on to something!

Looks like the outline of an experiment, anyway - maybe apply intentionality and then assess whether sadness lifts a noticeable amount, with/without repetition - and were there any other variables that were involved in one result or the other? (I dunno; just spitballing a half-assed idea...)

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on July 27, 2026, 04:36:13 PM »

AI---

I asked AI if sadness and grief were different because they do not seem the exact same to me.

Intentionality and Structural Object-Directedness: In phenomenological philosophy and cognitive emotion theory, grief is structurally dyadic or object-oriented—it requires a specific, externalized loss (a person, a status, a definitive rupture of a life-world). It is a totalized disorientation of the self relative to a lost object. Conversely, sadness can be ambient or non-object-specific; it is a fundamental attunement to the state of things or an ongoing condition of existence, rather than a narrative tracking of a specific stolen or missing entity.

Temporal Horizons: Philosophers of emotion (such as Matthew Ratcliffe in his work on the structural phenomenology of emotional "worlds") note that grief alters the structure of time by constantly throwing the self backward into an irrecoverable past or freezing it against an obstructed future. Sadness, however, retains an open temporal horizon. It is a state of heavy, low-arousal presence (anergia) that sits within the present moment without necessarily demanding a structural accounting of what was taken.

Physiological and Behavioral Arousal: Evolutionary psychology (e.g., David Huron's comparative work on stress responses) differentiates the two through autonomic arousal. Grief is a high-arousal, volatile state characterized by spikes in epinephrine, panic, and acute protest behaviors (weeping, searching, acute destabilization). Sadness is a low-arousal, conservation-withdrawal state. It lowers metabolic and physiological output, operating as a biological energy-conservation response to chronic baseline stress or systemic wear-down rather than acute trauma.

The Diagnostic Boundary of the Self: As psychological and psychiatric differentiation outlines, grief maintains a preserved core self-esteem focused strictly outward on the loss. Sadness points to an internal state of affective resignation—a posture toward the self's endurance under weight rather than an active mourning process over a discrete, named catastrophe.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on July 27, 2026, 12:50:44 PM »

Made a little doodle this morning to represent intuition. It was only a line drawing of a body emphasis on heart, lungs, stomach and feet. Refrained from adding any symbols beyond the body to keep it intuition focused and not out of body abstracted stuff. I was looking at it and I was thinking wow she is sad!

Here is the thing --- I have been going to church of months now. Doing new things meeting different types of people even the pagan thing. And fundamentally after this superficial transactional moments pass I am still very sad.

So I guess I am telling myself okay, it's OKAY to be sad but also I mean it indicates something is wrong right. Most people would DO something about their sadness they would NOT tolerate it. But I am NOT GOOD AT doing something about my sadness.

Being sad is exhausting. Maybe I need to try a different church meet a new set of people.

Doing self awareness - checking in with self and trying to be in touch with intuition.

So many things in my life are going haywire externally as well.

"A haywire camp is one where inferior equipment is used..." — Ralph C. Bryant, Logging (1913)

I really need to take the emotions out of my tasks while simultaneously being "more intuitive"  bwa hahahaha

Will finish breakfast and go do errands and then find a quiet spot to make phone calls from.

PEACE
JOY
ACTiON
and when all else fails TRANSMUTATION

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026

« Last post by sKePTiKal on July 27, 2026, 07:32:21 AM »

That sounds fun! Maybe you can find a free photo editing app. What matters when increasing physical photo size is the original resolution. And there are ways to "cheat" that in software.