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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The island
« Last post by lighter on February 16, 2026, 08:01:39 PM »
Thanks, Meh.  The guest was all...."where's an extinguisher....wool blanket!?!"  I didn't think about baking soda. The extinguisher was in the dang pantry, btw and there was no fire.

New water heater installed today, but the water pressure was too low to test.

On another note.....a truck and trailer took out the fibre at the ferry dock....so guests have  no wifi AND the DVD player isn't working for them SND the "caretaker" is off island and ghosting my texts and calls about it.

Grrrrrrrr.




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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad
« Last post by Meh on February 16, 2026, 04:49:19 PM »

That sounds really warm and cozy going to a Himalayan food place with friend(s).

It's relaxing to be around people where you can just chill out and be. Where there is no feeling of constant sub-text undercurrents one has to read and track. No eggshells.

When I did pet sit a very athletic and needy dog at first it was strange for me because I don't have kids. And she was just so much togetherness. It was way more togetherness than I am used to. I did like the frequent walks though at any time of day or night and any weather. I think we walked in snow at night and I was probably looking for some celestial event. I'm not a pet person... unstable rentals that I don't have control over... working hours etc... I am not predictably home enough. I have allergies so pet are not exactly clean enough for me. But still sometimes I think how I miss the dog I pet sit for. She was fun to play with the hyper tug of war stuff was sort of a workout for me. It's definitely two way interaction. I know all the walks were good for both of us. Anyhow I guess through pet sitting I learned why people are so attached to their dogs. She was not well trained one day she ripped out of my hands and went barking at a smaller dog for some unknown reason. Actually I think she was sort of predatory. The man of the small dog gave me a disgusted look and I don't blame him. But as a pet sitter for a short period of time it's not like it was for me to socialize the dog for it's entire life. The owners were old and never walked the dog so she was pent up and didn't interact well with cats or small dogs. I still miss her. I read that dogs have much fewer taste buds than humans do.

Anyhow. Glad you got your friend-tasks momentum on.

I feel right now it's not easy for me to do it as I am in no way settled. Anyhow I can still contemplate future friending tasks.



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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The island
« Last post by Meh on February 16, 2026, 04:30:37 PM »

I know it's too late and not helpful at the moment. Still I think containers of baking soda to toss on small flames before they get larger is a good idea sometimes. Having it around. Letting people know to throw it on a fire if one starts. It's inexpensive seems to last doesn't require reading instructions.

Good luck with whatever electrical problem is happening there.
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad
« Last post by Hopalong on February 16, 2026, 12:01:51 PM »
Happy friendship stuff going on today.

Recently my dog-sitter friend, C, agreed to adopt Pup should I predecease him -- idea went up when I noticed him streak into her lap when she stopped to visit recently, asked her if she'd consider it and got an immediate Yes. (I'll add a bequest for her to my will.) Prolly already told y'all this. She lives in a lovely setting where he'd get great walks, and he stayed with her in October. She's both calm and responsible and though he'd grieve, he'd have a great retirement with her. As she dog-sits, that'd include new dog friends!

Last week I took C to meet A (New English friend, distinct from OEF next door). A has written a series of highly-researched historical novels about a misunderstood king and C is a huuuge fan of her work. Asked A if she'd like that and she goes: Do I want to meet a FAN? Are you kidding? Come for tea! So we did and had a great time. I have another historical-novelist friend, J, who's met A once and both said they'd love to meet again.

Arranged to meet them both today downtown at a Himalayan restaurant that is YUM. Invited another friend too, ML, the former-pres of "Village" project, close friend of A, who introduced me to A when A and her hubs recently moved here. ML was heading off for a month in Spain and worrying about A feeling isolated. I set up a lunch with writers and went to A's for Boxing Day.

Today is kind of last minute for ML and C, but I'm feeling a happy alphabet of friendship right now. Grateful. J and A can talk shop which is VERY fun to listen to, and C and perhaps ML chime in as readers. I haven't read A's books yet but am hooking her up with local writing community stuff. Networking.

Later today I'm going to have a "tune-up" session online with former T, who invited me to if I never needed it. It'll be helpful to review the Poet drama, at least briefly, to figure out the relationship between a Co-D outbreak and depxiety these days.
All good, all about living.

It's still whoopsie-cold, but the sun's been out. Snow's melting off and Pup comes in with muddy paws to share them with the bedspread. Best part of spring will be meeting friends with Pup along at outdoor cafes downtown. Soooooon!

hugs
Hops
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The island
« Last post by lighter on February 16, 2026, 11:17:38 AM »
👍 Amber.
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The island
« Last post by Hopalong on February 16, 2026, 10:36:13 AM »
Yikes! Electric? Propane?

Sending flame-squelching vibes...

hugs
Hops
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The island
« Last post by sKePTiKal on February 16, 2026, 06:52:53 AM »
Oh my. One more reason to let go property you can't personally maintain/oversee.
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The island
« Last post by lighter on February 15, 2026, 09:50:01 PM »
Well....the day was going so well.  Cottage guests went from...."where's a can opener" this morning to "there was a spark when we plugged in the toaster and now there's a fire behind the washing machine help help help!!!!"

So.... it's the new water heater.  I know this because the "caretaker" answered the phone, not for me, but for his sister, the housekeeper, and ran to help two minutes after I called.

Guests super sweet about it. I have to go fetal and breathe for a while.



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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.
« Last post by Meh on February 15, 2026, 12:37:13 AM »
"Awareness vs. Impairment: Someone in a wheelchair isn't choosing not to walk to spite you. A person with high-level narcissistic or psychopathic traits, however, is often making a series of tactical choices to maintain power, hide their tracks, and exploit others.

The "Mask of Sanity": This is a term often used in psychology to describe how abusers and psychopaths can appear perfectly normal—even charming—to the outside world. This ability to "switch it on and off" suggests a level of control that a typical disability doesn't have.

Harm as a Tool: For a child abuser or a psychopath, the "malfunction" isn't just a personal struggle; it is a predatory orientation toward other people."

It's Google generated text.
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.
« Last post by Hopalong on February 14, 2026, 08:14:28 PM »
Oh, yeah. Their creepy glare has NO POWER you don't give it.
And from your observing (instead of enmeshing), you know you are different.

Grey rock technique...over again.

Oxygen at you....

hugs
Hops
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