Recent Posts

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad

« Last post by Hopalong on Today at 02:10:05 AM »

Honestly, I'm not worried about any smearing, Lighter. She can say anything she wants to anybody she wants. I just hope she says it to her therapist, whom she talked about quitting.

I'm pretty secure in poetry and with other writers. I'm confident I long ago earned my place and now that I've found the bottoms of my feet, that wouldn't rock me even if she tried it. I have one friend in the group who's silent as a priest with confidences, and she understood the whole thing. (Has an Nmother herself...oy.)

Poet has a new community and that's where she belongs. I truly wish her peace.

hugs
Hops

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The Lake House

« Last post by lighter on April 23, 2026, 10:51:31 AM »

No, but I'm super intrigued!!  It sounds most doable, and not at all exacting.......so enticing to my brain!!!!!

Thanks.....keep'em coming if you think of more ideas!

Lighter

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad

« Last post by lighter on April 23, 2026, 10:48:43 AM »

So
Cool
Hops.
I have to remember, stuff ebbs and flows. 
I keep returning to my centered self........
over and over. 

It's calms me to understand....
I'm changing my brain every time I go back,to my authentic self...feel her inside my chest/torso .. remember it's ok..... I'm doing well, bc I remembered.

Even when I forget ..... it's an opportunity to practice, mindfully.

At a point .....the cultivated split second is born.....before reactivity takes me.  That second grows.....feels like it's pushing me up and away .....distancing me .....providing improved/informed perspective....and that's another fruit and flower of restoring choice, which is..... byproduct, IME.

Unexpected fruits and flowers are the sweetest, IME.

I'm so glad you're feeling grounded.  Poet will do her best to knock you sideways, I'm sure.

Lighter

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The Lake House

« Last post by sKePTiKal on April 23, 2026, 07:45:42 AM »

Draw a squiggle. Each area between the lines becomes it's own mini-garden; mini-moment. The squiggle lines are "no particular place to go" - which is the POINT of meditation.

Does that make sense?

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad

« Last post by Hopalong on April 22, 2026, 11:07:04 PM »

You're right on point, like the fly on the wall, Lighter. No offense to you or flies.

It's beyond, way beyond, time to let it go. But I think I got there. I'm embarrassed at how much I've perseverated over this drama, especially here. But I'm breathing oxygen, relaxing with Pup, feeling relieved and more or less relaxed.

The whole thing felt a bit like a graduation from revolving around narcissistic people, mainly M at first, then this mask-dropping realization about Poet. What matters to me in the present is not so much about them as it has been recognizing the risks of empathy, how loneliness can drive you into the wrong orbit, how "neediness" (I know you don't like that term) can mislead you too.

I guess what feels good is I don't feel lost. I feel like I've found the bottoms of my own feet, and I am not confused about why I withdrew from this relationship.

Son of a gun.

hugs
Hops

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad

« Last post by lighter on April 22, 2026, 07:20:45 PM »

Stepping back from placating.....is ....sad, IME.

  It's me, recognizing self abandonment......
giving myself away, to keep the peace......
bc.....
well.

Because of the reaction Poet's giving your request for decent treatment.  Your refusal to swallow your truth.

And.....IME.....the more directly truthful one is.....the more punitive the PD reaction.

That's not about you, imo.  That's about whatever cavern of fear and regret the Poet's trapped in. 

If she could express it......take it out, in the light ...... examine it with someone who cares about her..... she'd have a chance to seek peace.....feel better..... cultivate joy, imo.

Her defense mechanisms make it impossible to self reflect.  I've seen this show up close.

It's sad, like I said.  So many good things, but no space for reciprocity.....and it's ok to be done with placating flawed people, at one's expense.

My God.....
it really is time to let it go,((Hops.))

BTW.....I'd be surprised if Poet didn't attempt a character assassination on her way out of the club.  I hope you're curious, instead of worrying.

Some dumb bunnies like chaos and the spirit of retribution, IME. 

Some will see the Poet for what she is.

Maybe you'll get some terrific poems brewing up from the depths.

I want to hear them!!!

Lighter

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by lighter on April 22, 2026, 06:56:21 PM »

Thanks, Hops.  It IS nice to see brother's eyes shine again.

And.....skunk. 
I like it too 🦨

Lighter

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The Lake House

« Last post by lighter on April 22, 2026, 06:54:47 PM »

I'm not good at it either, but I'm tenacious as hell, Hops.

Even a small labyrinth would be nice.

Lighter

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by Hopalong on April 22, 2026, 05:36:56 PM »

Forgot to tell you I'm happy about your brother story.
Hope it's warm and lasting for them.

And your childhood smell memories!
(I remember thinking horse poo was some kinda perfume...)


hugs
Hops

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by lighter on April 22, 2026, 01:45:57 PM »

Unexpected fruits of planting.....
smelling straw.....bc childhood ponies, puppies and barn kittens.