Recent Posts

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by Meh on February 13, 2026, 01:38:01 PM »

 It appears that I am reading GAD is same as learned helplessness. It's just that in books about anxiety they don't use the term learned helplessness and they do not say what caused it. I suppose it doesn't matter as long as one attempts to use some techniques. So this also means procrastination is linked to learned helplessness.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by Meh on February 13, 2026, 01:12:31 PM »

Thanks. You can see I was having a bit of trouble getting focused there.

The other question I had was this: Do you have examples of learned helplessness? Have you experienced it in yourself?

This area is something I want to work on as well as "agency."

The thing is I listened to a book on tape about anticipation anxiety and it really FITS VERY WELL I think my habits/behaviors.

So I am wondering if learned helplessness and anticipation anxiety basically are two terms to describe the same thing OR if these things are different.

Couple days ago I had to clean out my voicemail on my phone for example. Now this sounds pathetically dumb but my heart just kind of squeezed in at the thought of doing it. I don't mean "heart squeezed in" just as a phrase of speech. I actually had a physical sensation of dread, fear, loathing, stress, anxiety... something.. .heck even heart brokenness. And this was all about the SMALL TASK of clearing my voicemails... now it could be that it's 1) I feel I have not much to look forward to 2) most the voicemails I get are spam or some kind of headache to deal with. Maybe I am hoarding voicemails like a timestamp of past events.

Maybe the small task of clearing voicemails feels emotionally loaded. And things that are emotionally loaded I just have to focus on that one thing and do a small portion of it take ACTION and then it's just no longer a big deal I think.

In any case I did go through some of my voicemails and it wasn't a big deal when I actually did it.

Now I suspect there is a procrastination anxiety anticipation anxiety thing where the gravity of consequence is significant. Like how when a person is living paycheck to paycheck that deposit into your account has consequences if it doesn't get in there. But when you have savings there is no consequence it's just a routine maintenance thing after a while.

In any case I really do have to research learned helplessness, forced helplessness, agency, and "anxiety" a bit more.
I will just give myself allowance to do that when I can. I think it's worth it. I don't think that is merely over-intellectualization. I mean it sort of is but there could be something useful in it.

Is being too stressed and over-whelmed the same as learned helplessness. Maybe it is.

Have any of you worked on this learned helplessness thing? What is it for you?

Okay so I am going off to get something done today.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The Lake House

« Last post by sKePTiKal on February 13, 2026, 09:00:09 AM »

Sounds like it's a lot warmer there, than here. We've had a couple 50 degree days but that's it. Rest of the time, there's no confusion about whether it's still winter here. I think it's going to be March before I'll even get tempted to think seriously about garden.

I've mostly been really lazy this winter, just hanging out with B.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025

« Last post by sKePTiKal on February 13, 2026, 08:54:27 AM »

Yup. We have sinus cavities just below, above, and behind the eyes. When I get congested it adds pressure to the eye; optic nerve. So with the surgery being recent - it's changed the shape of my eye. The inflammation is going down and I am retraining my vision out to distance again. And part of that is retraining my brain to focus better.

Just a hiccup.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The Lake House

« Last post by lighter on February 13, 2026, 07:56:46 AM »

The "arch" 4x4 posts went in yesterday..... I'm hoping cement sets up today.

The capacitor on cooktop vent is bad....trying to find a new one. 

A couple grill parts need replacing.

I stepped on a nail at Home Depot.  It caught my outside left heal.....was small, but went in through and through.  Slowed me down.

Neighbor family uninterested in housekeeping work. Sort of a relief, if I'm being honest.

I found a lady, who's also a chef, and I'm hopeful about her working out....and possibly her son.  Will interview a second gal soon.

I hope to have the arch roofed by tomorrow.  Maybe get siding up too. I intend to plant micro clover.  I can hang a little chandelier.....will be so pretty.

Boulders getting moved around area, filled with dirt, where larger shed was removed. Could make that area a big fire pit spot....or more parking. I think fire pit.

I need metal recycler to come back, or it's another trip to the dump for us.

The two felled trees are almost split, milled or on the burn pile.
just a few limbs left to deal with.

Lighter

 

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025

« Last post by lighter on February 12, 2026, 07:30:50 PM »

That's some crazy sinus trouble, Amber.  I don't understand how your sight's been altered.

Seems things are resolving.

Did the doctor understand what happened?

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025

« Last post by sKePTiKal on February 12, 2026, 09:57:16 AM »

Well, doc sez eyes are much better and for 2 weeks I use 2 drops a day in each eye till then. R eye is getting clearer but I'm having to "train it" to focus at distance again, like I did right after surgery. Whatever happened with my sinuses knocked some things in the eyes sideways, I guess.

Going back over the mountain this morning for B's usual refill appt. Then stopping for steaks at our butcher's for the weekend. Regular shopping tomorrow. The snow is melting finally. Seeping into the ground nice and slowly.

Kitties have had some good runs on the warm days - and they're trying to chase our '"brown cows" - there's a group of 7 yearling deer hanging around the house. I stopped hunting on the property a couple years ago, to let the herd build back up. Might take a couple this fall.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025

« Last post by lighter on February 11, 2026, 07:59:13 PM »

Hops..... deteriorating?

Before you turn on yourself fully....
sometimes being still is necessary. 
Sometimes it's exactly what needs doing.
Sometimes, asking for help, is catalyst for difficult strides....
but you're always worthy, good and well intentioned.
Even when challenged by old foes.....
paperwork and organization.

Be kind to yourself.

There are amazing things only you can do. 

No one is great at everything.

Lighter

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025

« Last post by sKePTiKal on February 11, 2026, 10:31:30 AM »

Well, when one is stuck inside because the weather is brutally hostile, I think we need to give ourselves some slack on how we're coping inside the house. Yes, I still do the dishes in the morning - but it might be 3 pm when I finish. B vacumns woodstove & surrounding mess every morning... and the rest of the house gets cleaned when I can write my name in the dust.

But basically I treat it like a 10 yr old treats a snow day off from school. LOL. The big Have To is usually cooking dinner. And what we watch on TV - if we watch something.

Seems like R eye vision is getting a bit clearer, some days; not consistent. The floaters in the other eye are going away. But I hope he can explain the slidy bubble I notice sometimes out of the corner of my R eye. I do spend an above average amount of time looking at screens.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by lighter on February 11, 2026, 08:56:34 AM »

What you're describing, Meh.....feels adjacent to my "nose on pebble" lesson in therapy.

When one's nose is ON the pebble/problem/trauma/person,/people who created the trauma...

the pebble is HUGE .....
it's all we see.

Once we learn to create some distance......emotional distance.... the crude up and view the entire field....
we begin to see the other pebbles.
We see grass and flowers.....
we see trees and eventually sky and stars and moon and sea. Amazing.

Learning to meditate/breathe/rest our limbic systems.....
creates a split second of choice, IME.

Choice to NOT tumble down old, familiar rabbit holes of reactivity....of lightening fast brain pathways.

It builds a split second to SEE choice, and sometimes select it, IME.....to build on new choices.  Build them strong.

Your father and mother are pebbles, and you're learning how to create enough distance to see other things.....
this is HUGE, Meh!!! IME, of course.

In your experience, it may feel like something else.  I look forward to hearing about it.