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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by sKePTiKal on November 08, 2025, 11:15:52 AM »Sigh. The board is loading faster now. But now reply is sticking for me.
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by Hopalong on November 07, 2025, 06:12:43 PM »SOOOOO happy the procedure's behind you, Amber!
And for the excellent report.
I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU CAN FREAKING TYPE, THIS SOON!
Thanks for the post-op update.
Many good wishes for a just-boring and pretty-quick recovery.
Put Stinker in charge; he knows what you need.
big hugs,
Hops
And for the excellent report.
I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU CAN FREAKING TYPE, THIS SOON!
Thanks for the post-op update.
Many good wishes for a just-boring and pretty-quick recovery.
Put Stinker in charge; he knows what you need.
big hugs,
Hops
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by sKePTiKal on November 07, 2025, 07:03:01 AM »Maybe the difference is that I had two procedures. The first was laser; to correct a bit of astigmatism and break up the cataract. The 2nd was robotic, to suck out the old fuzzy lens and insert a new one. I tried to pay attention.
The nurses told me, that with the anasthesia I was given, I'd remember some things but not all. I was very curious about the procedures; worried about how they'd feel, etc. I remember a lot of that. But I think I lost some time in post-op and don't remember how I got into a chair. Which I suppose is a good thing. It helped me avoid the feeling of invasive physical trauma while nothing was going on.
The nurses told me, that with the anasthesia I was given, I'd remember some things but not all. I was very curious about the procedures; worried about how they'd feel, etc. I remember a lot of that. But I think I lost some time in post-op and don't remember how I got into a chair. Which I suppose is a good thing. It helped me avoid the feeling of invasive physical trauma while nothing was going on.
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by lighter on November 06, 2025, 10:34:36 PM »Sounds much different than my surgery experience. I wasn't aware of much ...maybe the light. Once.
You sound good, Amber....I hope you're back to, an improved, normal soon
Lighter
You sound good, Amber....I hope you're back to, an improved, normal soon
Lighter
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by sKePTiKal on November 06, 2025, 06:31:35 PM »No dark glasses; no pirate patch (asst assured me he'd have one next time) and I wasn't really "out" - and the procedure was over quickly. Then a few minutes talking with post-op nurse who walked me out to B in the jeep. The weirdest thing was the laser; the eyecup suctions around the eye to keep it open. There was some kind of electric zap and a very bright light at the end.
Now that the dilation has worn off, I had to take that lens out of my glasses. Vision is still a bit blurry but will improve over the next week. Eyedrops 4x a day.
I don't see myself driving yet, and I'm a bit not sure where my body is in space - I expect tomorrow will be better. But both Hol & B can drive me places.
Now that the dilation has worn off, I had to take that lens out of my glasses. Vision is still a bit blurry but will improve over the next week. Eyedrops 4x a day.
I don't see myself driving yet, and I'm a bit not sure where my body is in space - I expect tomorrow will be better. But both Hol & B can drive me places.
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by Hopalong on November 06, 2025, 03:41:12 PM »The incredible intuition and kindness of many animals blows me away. I note that he was kissing your EYELIDS. Wow. Go, Stinkers, you empathetic creature.
Hope it all went well today and you'll soon be through the wake-up tunnel, comfy and settled in for a couple more days of not much.
Sending much love and not much light until those big dark glasses are off....don't worry about anything. Maybe that's your real job right now. Releasing worry. Relaxing with full comfort. Releasing others' over- or under-reactions or clumsy help.
It's okay. You're okay, they're okay, and Stinkers is most DEFINITELY okay!
(One way I weather medical procedures is to go when I can into Very Grateful mode....orienting myself as both cooperative and appreciative, thanking everybody before and after, etc. If I do that I find my feelings do catch up with my intent and I actually am extremely grateful for their expertise. It's a good trust-and-receive experience, ime. But I also understand ymmv.)
hugs
Hops
Hope it all went well today and you'll soon be through the wake-up tunnel, comfy and settled in for a couple more days of not much.
Sending much love and not much light until those big dark glasses are off....don't worry about anything. Maybe that's your real job right now. Releasing worry. Relaxing with full comfort. Releasing others' over- or under-reactions or clumsy help.
It's okay. You're okay, they're okay, and Stinkers is most DEFINITELY okay!
(One way I weather medical procedures is to go when I can into Very Grateful mode....orienting myself as both cooperative and appreciative, thanking everybody before and after, etc. If I do that I find my feelings do catch up with my intent and I actually am extremely grateful for their expertise. It's a good trust-and-receive experience, ime. But I also understand ymmv.)
hugs
Hops
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by sKePTiKal on November 06, 2025, 05:45:35 AM »I was just a grumpasaurus. I think I'm over it. We're up early because (thank you time change) we went to bed shortly after dark. Last night Stinkers hopped up, sat on my book, and proceeded to give me lots of kitty kisses, even licking my eyelids! It was really sweet.
Yes Hops, you could use a B. Maybe a local high school youth group has service projects? I don't remember how it was organized, but I know I participated in some yard cleanups, and exterior painting for people requesting assistance. It wasn't affiliated with any school or church group, I don't think. But finding things for kids to do, used to be a "thing" back in the 70s.
If anything tweaks my triggers, i plan on "removing myself" from my bodily sensations Lighter. Deep breathing, mental focus elsewhere, whatever "magic" is involved for me to just "step out" for the 10-15 mins the doc said was required for the surgery. it's just the coming back that could be a tad dicey. And since the location of the surgery is right next door to B's pain management doc, he's going to pop in there and see if they've heard from the gov't yet. (Not likely.)
Yes Hops, you could use a B. Maybe a local high school youth group has service projects? I don't remember how it was organized, but I know I participated in some yard cleanups, and exterior painting for people requesting assistance. It wasn't affiliated with any school or church group, I don't think. But finding things for kids to do, used to be a "thing" back in the 70s.
If anything tweaks my triggers, i plan on "removing myself" from my bodily sensations Lighter. Deep breathing, mental focus elsewhere, whatever "magic" is involved for me to just "step out" for the 10-15 mins the doc said was required for the surgery. it's just the coming back that could be a tad dicey. And since the location of the surgery is right next door to B's pain management doc, he's going to pop in there and see if they've heard from the gov't yet. (Not likely.)
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Last post by lighter on November 05, 2025, 12:24:25 PM »Divorcing cousin is here through the weekend. She goes back hom for first divorce hearing next week.
Her h was removed from the house ...I think I said that already. More importantly, so were all the guns. AND he can't buy more, according to the 2 year restraining order he agreed to. He's begging their DD to bring him a fun "for protect." He's a very bad liar.
He's also introduced another woman as "his wife" at his church. I know he's on "dating"apps....the pay by the minute kind. I wonder if the new wife will care? I doubt it.
I'm praying the Judge sends both of them into the hall to write up a Final Settlement Agreement. Not much to fight over, but then..... it's difficult for PDs to agree, to anything, and move on.
I'm pretty sure the restraining order got done, bc the h went for hours without a drink......he was likely climbing the walls. I don't laugh about his pain or suffering, for surely he suffers.
I do what I've come to do automatically.....
accept mitigating harm/expense/trauma and time, is the best possible outcome for all.
The kids, at University, want to move back home from friend's houses. Maybe. The house might have to sell.
The DD loves and misses her dad. So sad their together time includes him getting her drunk and terrorizing her.....asking her to do things NOT in her best interest.
I wonder if he'll pull his relationships, with his children, out of the dirt. I have zero expectations he cares to.
I'll end on this note....cousin has documented proof of stbx's failure to comply with TRO. She could have him arrested any time.....
which means he'll sweat out beer longer than he'll be able to endure going without a drink.
This gives me the best hope he'll do the right thing, and move on.
Cousin wants him to be ok. She just wants out, and for everyone to be ok.
It's astonishing to witness parents, who care about protecting and shielding their young vs the one's sacrificing them to the Gods of Hate and Vengeance. Always.
Nothin fair about it.
The sky is blue.
The grass is green.
Some parents eat their young.
There's an auction at the ReStore today. I might drop a lot and off and stick my head in.
Lighter
Her h was removed from the house ...I think I said that already. More importantly, so were all the guns. AND he can't buy more, according to the 2 year restraining order he agreed to. He's begging their DD to bring him a fun "for protect." He's a very bad liar.
He's also introduced another woman as "his wife" at his church. I know he's on "dating"apps....the pay by the minute kind. I wonder if the new wife will care? I doubt it.
I'm praying the Judge sends both of them into the hall to write up a Final Settlement Agreement. Not much to fight over, but then..... it's difficult for PDs to agree, to anything, and move on.
I'm pretty sure the restraining order got done, bc the h went for hours without a drink......he was likely climbing the walls. I don't laugh about his pain or suffering, for surely he suffers.
I do what I've come to do automatically.....
accept mitigating harm/expense/trauma and time, is the best possible outcome for all.
The kids, at University, want to move back home from friend's houses. Maybe. The house might have to sell.
The DD loves and misses her dad. So sad their together time includes him getting her drunk and terrorizing her.....asking her to do things NOT in her best interest.
I wonder if he'll pull his relationships, with his children, out of the dirt. I have zero expectations he cares to.
I'll end on this note....cousin has documented proof of stbx's failure to comply with TRO. She could have him arrested any time.....
which means he'll sweat out beer longer than he'll be able to endure going without a drink.
This gives me the best hope he'll do the right thing, and move on.
Cousin wants him to be ok. She just wants out, and for everyone to be ok.
It's astonishing to witness parents, who care about protecting and shielding their young vs the one's sacrificing them to the Gods of Hate and Vengeance. Always.
Nothin fair about it.
The sky is blue.
The grass is green.
Some parents eat their young.
There's an auction at the ReStore today. I might drop a lot and off and stick my head in.
Lighter
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Adventures in renovations... again
« Last post by lighter on November 05, 2025, 12:03:53 PM »Contractor's been sick all week. When he com s back, he has a drawer to cut down and install....a sink leak on o repair and skirting around the deck to deal with proper.
Hanging heavy things, changing a ceiling fan and big light....carry away some building leftovers, and Bob's your uncle. Done. I think.
Lake contractor says he'll carry away broken down fridge and freezers tomorrow. I might tape them up this afternoon....drop off some large items.....a K air mattress, in case my buddy uses lake for her family Thanksgiving.
Heck....might take another mattress......
::gaging my strength::.
My cousin isn't sick.....neither am I. We'd be doing all the schlepping, driving, taping and whatever mouse clean up, should there be any, alone. Will see.
Can hammer out details of wedding arch/whatever form that takes. My cousin is amazing at this event stuff ...and getting things done.
Lighter
Hanging heavy things, changing a ceiling fan and big light....carry away some building leftovers, and Bob's your uncle. Done. I think.
Lake contractor says he'll carry away broken down fridge and freezers tomorrow. I might tape them up this afternoon....drop off some large items.....a K air mattress, in case my buddy uses lake for her family Thanksgiving.
Heck....might take another mattress......
::gaging my strength::.
My cousin isn't sick.....neither am I. We'd be doing all the schlepping, driving, taping and whatever mouse clean up, should there be any, alone. Will see.
Can hammer out details of wedding arch/whatever form that takes. My cousin is amazing at this event stuff ...and getting things done.
Lighter
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by lighter on November 05, 2025, 11:44:56 AM »Amber, my sister had a super easy recovery, after recent similar surgery. Much easier than mine, 10 years ago. Just remember to line up the toilet before dropping your weight.
Congrats on lift install, and good luck managing your emotions around old stuff and B. Boundaries are a good, and necessary thing.....you already know that. It's difficult to give up autonomy and control, once it's part of your life, IME. Pick and choose what's important..... what's easier to leave go.
B has his triggers and charges too.......maybe speaking them, out loud, will diapers/reduce them? Maybe you already have.
Hops, I hope your little garden shed goes up easily. I'm happily picturing your garden tools, pots and bags of soil arranged to your liking. Projects more joyful....more ease.
Lighter
Congrats on lift install, and good luck managing your emotions around old stuff and B. Boundaries are a good, and necessary thing.....you already know that. It's difficult to give up autonomy and control, once it's part of your life, IME. Pick and choose what's important..... what's easier to leave go.
B has his triggers and charges too.......maybe speaking them, out loud, will diapers/reduce them? Maybe you already have.
Hops, I hope your little garden shed goes up easily. I'm happily picturing your garden tools, pots and bags of soil arranged to your liking. Projects more joyful....more ease.
Lighter