What would you think about this comment?

[mum]

OR!!!! I wish I were there to hug you and jump up and down and all that crazy/happy stuff.

Everything that happened today is GOOD GOOD GOOD.  An OSC, or Order to Show Cause is always preliminary....so the judge doesn't rule on anything big, just accepts that yes, we do need a trial/hearing/other thing (mediation) before a ruling. (my understanding after so many OSCs).

So, keep on top of the dates (your ex won't!!!!) and the longer you are in Texas, the harder it will be for him to get you and your daughter back there (if he would even try).

I don't drink, but if I did: I'd raise my glass to you!!!  Or maybe I will go eat ice cream all by myself to celebrate.

You are still my hero, OR.  This just proves it!!!

[Brigid]

Great news OR.    I'm very happy for you.  I continue to keep you and your daughter in my prayers.

Hugs,

Brigid

[OR]

I slept so much better!!!!!!!!! I went to the Doctors for my 1 yr physical, I'm in great physical condition.
I wondered if I had high blood pressure or something, but Im doing great!!!!!

I feel the pressure releasing, but need to keep up on making sure N-H does what the Judge told him to do.

Just knowing our D will start school on Monday, without the worries to move back to CA is soooooooo sweet.

Im waiting for N-H to do something because he is NOT having his way!

No time to worry about making him happy! I'm going to focus on D and myself for a little bit.
I was thinking how my H and his health issues were all we ever had to look forward to.
Not thinking about him is a hard habit to break. I feel free, right now!

My D received a letter from him, he tells her how I stole her away and how Ill he is, not able to
be under stress like I was putting him thru. Telling her not to ever lie, that your word is all you have.
I think we're having some PROJECTION !!!!!!!

Yesterday before we went to call the court house she tells me how she believes her dad is Bipolar.
She said she knows a kid that is bipolar and her dad reminds her of him.

I have not mentioned her dad was Bipolar only N, she never wants to discuss much about her dad, so I was surprized she wanted me to know she belived this about him. He may be bipolar not sure.


Thanks mum and Bridgid for the good thoughts,  Im feeling so  much better about life today!!!!!!


OR

[OR]

Well it did not take long for the N-H to spit back some anger

He just e-mailed our D, tells her "he would not move here to TX, if I did not distance myself from his brother and their family"

I do have a life, I would like to continue to have our D have cousins here to visit thats important. I will someday have another boyfriend and move past what is here, but he can't see that.
My SIL and I went to school together so he hates that. I realize EX's need to do this with each other I have no problem, just he is a punk to think he can be such a dictator.

I'm not ready to reply back to him, he is so good at isolation.
He can just keep wishing, I'm not going to make him happy with a reply.

If he moves here that would ruin my day, so he can sit in CA angry about me being here in TX, tooo bad!
He's a big A#$%$^&.

[OR]

Update

H- is upset and letting his brother know how he is not happy. 

It appears my N-H never picked up my certified letter and 32 papers, but the judge was happy to let him know about some of the evidence against him. The BIG lie, I left N-H to die while he was recovering from surgery, other illness, abused him to tears and kidnapped our D. 

I have the police report and to back-up H's  statement he wanted to shoot me, leave US, is an email from his brother explaining he would have no part of my H leaving us in the cold confirming  how he wanted to leave us.
The judge must have let my H copy the courts 32  papers for him to read, and announced how his brother explained in an e-mail what was going on.  All I know is BIL wrote me to say my H is mad and going on about the letter the court had how he thought his brother supplied the letter directly to the judge. 

I was imagining the judge never read all the pages, only set up the next appointment for our october 4th mediation.
I feel like with H so upset it could only mean he now has to face the lies and the judge knows his brother thinks he was doing the wrong thing to his family.  I wish I could have been a fly on the wall in the court room that day. I guess it was ment to be H, never picked up the 32 pages from the Post Office.
Some how the judge giving the documents  to my H has a much sweeter ring to it.

I wonder how he will respond about that medical evaluation on his mental abnormalities.
Now he must account for the money too, I know he hates having to account to anyone for his actions.
His brother is glad he will have to account to the judge and knows his brother hates authority.
I explained to him how the judge was pist at my H for the lie about not being served.
How the judge told my H, he will comply with the rules of the court and respond when requiried.

Thanks for reading ........... OR 

[Stormchild]

Yay OR!

I'm so glad the judge isn't an N, and is reading the papers, and isn't fooled by your H.

I wonder if your H's narcissism worked against him. If he thought he was too good to make the effort to pick up those papers, and could just lie his way through.

Oops, didn't work this time, did it?

[OR]

All of you, thank you sooooooooo much, My heart is sssssssssooooooooooooo Happy!

I know it's not over and much more to be done, but for now all the past e-mails from H telling me how I was in trouble for kidnapping, he can't say it to me anymore so HA!

thanks again,OR

[mum]

OR: My therapist was explaining to me (yesterday) how the biggest fear an N has is being exposed.  Now this makes total sense....and I am SOOOOO happy too, that this is what is happening. That the judge is not fooled/impressed one bit is  Fantastic!!
This good thing brings me such hope for myself as well!!

[onlyrenting]

Update.............Another lost battle for the N, Judge is standing with the recommendations until Jan. 16th

Because their was no agreement made until ex comes back with all his medical and phys reports the Judge wants on the  16th another meeting with  D and the mediator again.

Ex was in the court room, his voice gave me chills.......I had  the report faxed to me so I knew what to expect.
Ex got the report when he entered the court room. The judge was telling him about the upcoming dates and explaining how and what would affect him.....H was reading the report and did not listen as the judge was speaking to him.......Judge got pist and had to repeat what was said. H must have been stund about his lies not working for him.........

thanks for reading OR

[Sela]

Hi OR:

My pc is on the blink and so I can only post occasionally from the library (haven't time to read back in this thread too far) but I am very, very happy to hear things are going the way they are...with the judge seemingly not fooled by your ex and by your ex acting like a dope infront of the judge.  I hope this keeps up and will eventually put your jerk ex in his place!!!

Still keeping you and your d in my prayers!!  Be strong OR!!  You're doing great!!

  Sela

[onlyrenting]

Sela, bummer your PC is down.

Thanks for the encouragement, I think I posted more details on another thread and wanted to update this one so it would have it on record for myself. I was in a hurry and didn't write what I should be so happy about.

to fininsh up a little more  page 8 of the 9 page doc. said the recommendations would be I would have
full legal and physical custody.........

The mediator had told me she could not review the recent packett because it did not have a stamp from the court for proff of service to my H. I told her the last one I sent was left unclaimed for 2weeks and sent back to me. She did end up reading it and was able to verify the many lies. She talked to me first then D, then H.
He told so many lies made some most hurtful ones.

What a relief this was, all the hard work putting togeter reports and emails, even pictures of our D. the orginal OSC was about 32 pages, this one was 15 or so.

 The judge for some reason kept this not giving it to the mediator. I put together a version for the mediator with  all of the above. One of the reports was from a lawyer who teaches the courts judges and mediators how to look out the N's they lie and project etc.
I higlighted but kept everything in context so if she had never read his report which included all types of PD's she may learn what he teaches.

I sent e-mails from H, who tells all his chat room buds how we were making plans to move and he noted my move to our TX Corp. headquarters.

H must now provide a mental eval, and all meds and doc reports to the court for review.
He will not have more than supervised visit until Jan. and only after family court reviews the reports.

I have to go   OR
 

[Sela]

Hiya OR:

He will not have more than supervised visit until Jan. and only after family court reviews the reports.

Yay!!!  This is a step in the right direction.  So glad to hear it!

Keep trudging along!

(not sure what "other thread" to read but glad to read this!!!).

  Sela

[onlyrenting]

Great News !!

Jan 31st was my court day for a mandatory settlement conference.

Child custody remains the same  I keep full legal and physical custody until EX can provide medical reports to prove he is done with surgery and his medications.

The judge was willing to grant the divorce, so I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Thursday the court faxed me the mediation report from Jan 13th. I read all comments from EX, D and the mediators recommendations.

1. Mediator recommended Ex get individual therapy but the final report had this deleted.

There were other recommendations deleted like EX and D have T together with him by phone.

I was to screen all communication from EX, to D the final cut was reduced from a full page to half page.

The important thing is I have full custody I can stay in TX and Ex must have a full review with family services before any part changes. He would be able to have supervised visits.

Ex walked in with 2 canes and a ace wrapped elbow from his recent surgery.
I think the poor sympathy trick only backfired on him.

He went on with his lies about me kidnapping D and how I left because I was having an affair, the report said I leave D alone while I go to the bars and drink.

The mediator asked D she said mom leaves at 6 30 am calls her at 7am and picks her up everyday at 3 30 and we are home together the rest of the evening.

The judge tells ex this is a no fault divorce and he would be admonished in court if he believed he would say these things in court.  ( Stamped that out cold) He also reminded him HE was the one who filed this divorce not me. My ex last words were he was going to get married right away ! What a stupid thing to say.

I was able to be calm and say " This is all about money" ex said NO, I then showed the judge the recent tax information showing the SSI, he received in Ds name. He then admitted how he received over $10.000
in a lump sum along with her SSI of over 5,000. 

The judge told me to contact the child support agency here in TX and report the tax information to SSI.

I was able to prove ex a liar, my D proved he was a liar and he proved himself a liar.

The judge said a final judgment packet would be filed, I told him I had the forms already but he told me very quietly to put the forms away .

His words to my ex, he was to come back the next day, stand in line, get the judgment packet and send me the copies.

The judges words to me, put the packett away, nothing more for me to do, this was over get on the plane and don't look back!!!!!


AS I got on the plane at lift off I felt I could leave all the pain from my 28 years with ex, my relationship with my mother and sisters there in CA. 

I did have a nice visit with  long time friends who I stayed with the 1 day I was there and had a nice dinner with another friend.
I stopped by to drop off a toy for our dog, (she was outside) and to say good-bye, this was very sad.
Said good-bye to some neighbors. While I was there ex walked around the corner to come talk to them.
Funny he didn't have his 2 canes... I got in my car and never looked back..

I felt so tired when I got home.

I forgot, ex's mother died last week the will was read, mom left her money to a a judge who is the wife of the executor of her will.   the grand kids will receive money for college.

ex does not know about the will, his brother is contesting the will so it could be a few years before they see any of the money. I was almost glad because ex, called D before I made it back to TX he was fighting the court judgment. I'm sure he was thinking his mother left him money and may want to use it to fight me.

His brother will not let him know about the will until ex says he is sorry. His brother wrote him to tell him he needs mental help and needs to apologies to everyone.   

The war has been won for now, will be intresting to see how ex will choose to communicate with D.
D tells me "Mom we now have two single women in the house "  she was not upset.
Her dad said he wants her to visit him but I am keeping her from him.

I told her he can see her with supervised visits any time. Reading the mediators report Ex was very upset about the supervised visit and told the mediator he wanted another mediator to review the case. The Judge ignored the request and said the judgement was final.

I don't believe he will fight the judgement, just the same Im glad he is 1,500 miles away...

OR

[mudpuppy]

Congratulations OR!!!
You give me something to shoot for.
 God bless you and your daughter.

mudpup

[Sela as guest]

CONGRATULATIONS OR!!!!

Fatastic news!!  I knew he'd fry his own bacon!!

You are so brave!  You fought and won!!

Ditto what Muddy said:

God bless you and your daughter!!

((((((((((((((big large happy hug))))))))))))))))

  Sela