Ami, you are right. I am settling for the crumbs under the table. Thinking that with out them I am going to starve.
I will not starve. I am getting conatgeioused of the negativity of my family. Too much family this summer. My mother tells so many lies, I do not know if they are lies or to her are honest twisted truths.
I have no idea how much my grad mother made her suffer. Probably a lot. That is why I do not want to abandone her. But she is so much poison to me, that she is not leaving me with any option. I used to answer her e mails one by one statement b statement trying to reason. She always answered me back, "you never answer my questions, talking with you is like talking to the wall", never good enough.
Now she things that I am getting along with her worst enemy. I wish I could do what my son does.
When I start my sermon, drive slowly, do not talk on the cell while driving, do not put your music so loud that you cannot hear firefighters or ambulance, etc, or the train, etc. Then he says, I love you mom, and with out telling me that I am wrong, he just leaves with a smile on his face.
I am going to try that. Today I was affected for the "interchanging chewing gum with the worst enemy" when I exactly promised that I was going to pray before opening her e mails.
I promise you, tonight I am going to open her e mail and I am not going to feel anything. I will not feel anything. I will not feel anything.